S-Rs in Egypt

Get Back to Where We Once Belonged

2011-02-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

At the expectation of your responses, it is with trepidation that I announce that the 4 S-Rs are returning to Egypt in 3 days time. This was the plan all along, yet I know how much you hoped and prayed we would change our minds…if not for our sake, for that of our young children, you say. Why go back? Why when all you have there is a low-paying job and a serious longing for expensive American-imported macaroni and cheese? I pretend I don’t notice your tone of voice, but I know. I know, and I know that I am impotent to explain it. I wish I could. I wish I could answer the question for myself.

I finally snapped at a long-time American friend today when she asked the “E” question “so…uh…Ash….what’s the plan?”. “What do you MEAN, what’s the plan? The plan is that we go back and help REBUILD the country. What else would we do?” What can I say? At the prospect of me leaving her forever, I cling to Egypt even tighter. I literally want to kiss her soil (if I could find it save the trash!). Is Egypt my favorite place to hate? Or do I hate that it is my favorite place? I am reminded of a sister in law of mine who, at some point during her chemotherapy for breast cancer, remarked “how did I wind up here”? If you had to suddenly withdraw from your life as you know it, what would be important to you?

So as a feeling of irrational shame at leaving in the first place mingles with real, true fear that I’ll never get out again, I simply put one foot in front of the other. I can’t wrap my head around the philosophical. This comes from the gut. I’m coming home Masr! And I’ve never run from a challenge…we're getting back to where we once belonged...

Update on Operation Sanity

2011-02-05T02:17:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Madrid or as they say here "Madrith"! Our wonderful friends Doug and Diana took in us refugees. We are spending a few nights here and then heading to Barcelona for a week of family-time and relaxation. This looks like it will be a long jouney...and one we are dedicated to struggle through with Egypt. So...a vacation before the hard work of rebuilding a country.

We still have a few American neighbors and friends in Egypt and of course almost all of our Egyptian friends are still there. When you see them on TV, please please think good thoughts for them. Think of Marty who bakes and shares a large sheetcake every day to keep spirits up. Think of Stephanie who organizes games in the garden for the children. Think of Peter and Betsy and Casey and Kathleen. Think of Hala and Farida and Hend and Ahmed and Reham and countless, countless others who are keeping up their spirits and good cheer and reaching out to others. They are carrying on through difficult circumstances and need all of the goodwill that can be sent their way.

More from Barcelona, in sha'Allah (God willing)
-A

Revolution!

2011-02-05T02:09:00.000-08:00

I didn’t think Revolution would feel like this. John Lennon, Tracy Chapman, and the many other artists make it sound so upbeat, so sure of its legitimacy, and so containable in a 3-minute music track. The reality is unsure, insecure, and very much “watch and wait”. Would today become immortalized like so many other dates in history? When my American friends ask me what it feels like to be in a country of turmoil, I think about what it must have felt like to wake up with a really really tingly feeling on July 4th 1776. You can’t put your finger on it, but it’s there.

Yes, there were the usual runs to the banks, the stocking up on 4 liters of milk and all of the rice that can be possibly eaten for a year. There was the filling of the bathtub with fresh water and the preparations…the endless preparations for that which we hoped would never come.

Except we did want it to come. Everyone did. Egyptians are starving and dying from preventable and treatable disease. The trash here is literally smothering its citizens and the government is so corrupt, it is by definition, brutal. The “democratically elected” Mubarak, ruler for 28 years must go …and take his power-hungry son with him. Nearly everyone in Egypt wants Mubarak out of power and tried for his many crimes against humanity. I think often of our graduate student P.R. who was grabbed in the middle of the night, held and tortured in prison for 2 weeks, and left naked, bound, and gagged on a street corner for having the audacity to blog and organize demonstrations suggesting that the Egyptian people deserved better than Mubarak. I just can’t figure how anyone supports the status quo. I know absolutely no Mubarak supporters and I am not surprised the government must pay approximately 1 month’s salary to the pro-Mubarak demonstrators.

So who are the demonstrators? An Egyptian friend of mine told me “I shame myself and my family if I do not go to the protests”. He is manager of a bank. He is comfortable. He has a wife and a puppy and a baby on the way. I begged him not to go and then I instantly felt ashamed as well. Should I be marching alongside him? What is my freedom worth to me? Protesters here come from all walks of life. I know all of this is reported on CNN but the magnitude can only be assessed by considering the almost caste-like system employed in Egypt, where the middle and upper class feel entitled to their lot by Allah himself and where the masses live and die in truly deplorable conditions. That Egyptians, who are well-known to argue about the smallest thing for hours, at a time can agree and stand for anything is amazing. My heart is bursting with pride. This is the people I know and love.

But Revolution isn’t easy. Last Friday was perhaps the scariest night of my sheltered life. Looters and n’erdo-wellers were spotted three doors down and rumbling our way. I had hidden my “valuables” in our drop ceiling. Funny what you consider “valuable” when you only have 45 seconds to determine it. I grabbed my engagement ring, my wedding present from Joe, our USB backup of our family pictures, Virginia’s security blanket, Aedan’s stuffed dog, and Joe’s ipad. The kids were throwing stuffed animals and little Chuck E Cheese trinkets under the bed fast as lightning. Then, I barricaded us in to wait. Our normally passive Golden Retriever Snowcone was on high alert with orders to bite strangers. Would she have really bitten if it came down to it? I’d like to think so. I wish I could say that the anxiety passed when the looters were rounded up and arrested. Surely we couldn’t sleep barricaded in the former nursery/newly appointed “panic room” indefinitely. Still, when are you safe? With absolutely no police presence on the streets and prisoners being let out of prisons by the thousands, could we be sure that they or their cronies wouldn’t return?

In response to the general panic, Joe and every other able-bodied man age 16 and over formed “Operation Chihuahua”, a rag-tag band of professors cum vigilantes roaming and protecting the people of our neighborhood. Armed with the business end of a beach umbrella, Joe and the other men stayed up all night, drank gin, and wondered what he would actually do if the looters or Mubarak-released prisoners came. In a sense, my pacifist professor husband now has a kinship with so many others throughout history who have watched, waited, endured scary moments, and built bonds that last a lifetime. Meanwhile, the women-folk were constantly boiling water, discussing which market has eggs or milk or bread, and tsk-tsking about how the children are running around like little savages. It occurs to me that this is very sexist in a way, but this wasn’t the time to redress this. Frustration as the moments turned into hours turned into days turned into who-knows-how-long. Bickering with each other, forgetting to eat, not knowing what day it was or when we last showered. In a mere week, I was almost unrecognizable to myself. Little to no contact with the outside world save for a few very special family members and friends who persisted all day to make expensive international calls. Time drug on. If we were actually doing something productive, that would be one thing…but we were waiting…and watching proud of the patience and civility of the protestors and then horrified at the images of Egyptians killing each other in graphic and brutal ways on Al Jezeera International, CNN, & BBC (the local stations only showed peace and calm, no demonstrations and no violence), and trying not to let the children see us cry.

The morning found us tired and cranky…and too distracted to operate the coffee pot. This pattern would continue each morning after the nightwatch. We opened the door that first morning to survey the damage only to be assaulted with the pungent smell of tear gas wafting in from downtown. Aedan’s eyes watered as he sputtered a “help!”. I must have looked terrified because my kind, thoughtful and ever-protecting 7 year old shouted “I’m fine Mom! Really! I’m brave! It’s not that bad! Really!” His wide eyes suggested what his words would never say. I was flooded with guilt so quickly that I had difficulty standing. As if I needed further proof that God never gives you more than you can handle, my 5 year old future lawyer comes in and non-plussed says “Mom, you know what makes me feel better when I have tear gas in my lungs? Oreos! Can we open that bag you have been saving for a special occasion?” The moment passed. I didn’t faint in front on my children. But things were still touch and go…

Then the internet came back on. The bank reopened with limited hours and cash supplies. Our families and friends drove us crazy calling at all hours and demanding that we leave the country immediately. Would we leave? Should we leave? Where would we go? What does it mean if we go? If we stay? Hours on the phone, staring at Facebook, willing the world to completely pause and acknowledge us, rage at the incredible pressure of the media’s eye (thanks Anderson Cooper for your dramatic overreaction—we all knew it was dangerous in Tahrir—yet much of the rest of Cairo was safe and returning, albeit slowly, to normal).

Due to pure exhaustion, hunger, terror at our children’s nightmares, and acquiescence to self-doubt, and family/friend demands, Joe and I made the difficult decision to leave Egypt for a week. We must take a break and things are getting worse. We aren’t safe in the place I felt the most safe a mere two weeks ago. Normally I would have welcomed an unexpected trip to Spain but I’d literally do anything to have avoided the circumstance that made it necessary. I have had to face the facts that there is very little I can do in or for the people of this country that I love. Words don’t exist to describe my frustration. Egypt is my home and I want to defend her. But I can’t. Not until next week….which feels like forever from now.
So this message comes to you as I sit in the airport…wondering whether our evacuation airplane which has already been delayed 2 ½ hours will actually come and if it comes whether it will take us to Madrid and if we get there, if we will ever come home again, and if we do whether “home” will ever feel the same. I have so many mixed feelings about leaving but a firm return date a week later makes this feel like a sort of surreal vacation. My American friend and I just phoned and discussed our “leavers guilt”. We can’t bear to stay but we can’t bear to leave our many friends, our pets, our homes, and the people who care for us. I’d like to think that all of this has a purpose and that those brave Egyptians willing to die to make their country a better place did not die in vain. A recently retired friend of mine described the way she intends to spend her days until all of this is over: “I’m picking up trash in Cairo with my friends. We are starting on Road 9 (central boulevard) and moving outward. The young people can have their Revolution. We’ll leave them the beautiful country that they deserve”. Well done Egypt. May God grant swift peace and justice here.
-Ashley

Camping in Bahariya desert

2010-02-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

The S-Rs take to the desert to celebrate Joe's 40th!
Check out the limestone worn away by wind, black volcanic mountain, and sandboarding!

The new normal

2009-12-04T05:50:00.000-08:00

As Christmas is almost upon us, I reflect on how desperate I was to return home for the holidays last year. That is not to say that I miss my friends and family any less. On the contrary, I think I miss them more. Instead, I think this all reflects "the new normal". This semester passed with incredible speed consuming us with school decisions for the kids, me going back to work full-time, Joe searching for the ever-allusive publication, etc etc. We met some new friends, we played soccer, we got a puppy. Sounds kinda....normal.

Despite the vast differences in culture, we have found our groove. This is good and bad I guess. On the one hand, I finally have stopped waking up in a cold sweat worried that we will starve to death for lack of clean, safe food (and have accepted whatever food I can get!). On the other hand, we have done hardly any touristy fun things this semester. We haven't been back to the pyramids, nor have we gone sailing down the Nile. It is kind of sad that we are in such a cool place and the only thing we have managed to do is go to work, school, and schlep the kids around to all of their activities. Then again, this is normal too, right?

I've posted some pictures from our feeble attempt to correct this boring pattern here. Today we went rock trekking in the Wadi Desert near our house. Note the size of our 3 month old "baby" dog. She was supposed to be the runt of the litter...at 28 lbs so far...I don't think so!

Fuddrucker's

2009-11-28T10:23:00.000-08:00

I have lived away from home long enough to have made peace with the fact that you cannot live a cultural moment 24/7. My heart belongs to America and for better or worse, so does my stomach. So, maybe you can forgive me for forsaking the lovely Egyptian cuisine in favor of visiting the newly opened Fuddrucker’s in Maadi Egypt. A friend of mine here had gone recently and said “it’s just like home”. It’s Thanksgiving weekend. I am missing my family (and food that I recognize on sight) more than you can possibly imagine. The other 3 S-Rs feel the same. So we pile in a rattletrap taxi and off we go…to Fuddruckers.

Pretty much, it is exactly like a Fuddrucker’s at home….mediocre food, weak-looking veggies on the bar, corny signs everywhere. There were a few attempts to Egyptianize it. For one thing, it had a cool kiddie “playland” with “Mambo Number 5” (a little bit of Monica in my life…a little bit of Jessica by my side, etc etc) on repeat and a couple of really gory violent video games. Also, I noted that Green Apple Fanta was on the drink bar where the Diet Coke should have been. Yes, there was table service (“and how are you too? Madame”) and the menu was in Arabic. Other than that, same old FuddFries, burgers, and (beef) hotdogs. For approximately 45 minutes, I was in heaven.

Egyptian Wedding!

2009-10-27T02:25:00.001-07:00

Joe and I were offered an amazing opportunity to catch a glimpse of the "real Egypt" vis a vis the wedding reception of one of his students. Before I begin describing the wedding, there is some crucial information that North Americans need to know about relationships (in general) in Egypt. Egyptians consider anyone that they have ever met or anyone that their family or friends know to be "close". It seems to me that Egyptians NEVER forget the name and face of your 2nd cousin's neighbor's best friend and in fact, when they see them again, they greet them as long lost friends. In sum, the networks of Egyptians are much larger and stronger than that of a typical American. I am lucky in my life to have a lot of friends but I only make the effort to see maybe 20-40 of them a year. Most Egyptians see ALL of their friends at least once a week. And there isn't really the power-divisions that we have back home. Professors are seen as friends that happen to be professors that one particular semester. It is all very welcoming if not a little disorienting. Anyway, so back to the wedding .... The point is that, by definition, no Egyptian wedding can be small. The wedding that Joe and I attended on Friday was no exception. We counted table settings for 500 and people were sitting two to a chair, huddled over bar tables, etc. Easily there were 600 + people there!

Egyptian ceremonies are often held at home (sometimes at a mosque) with only immediate family and a maybe a few very close friends. Each marriage begins with the boy asking the girl's father for her hand in marriage. Assuming his blessing, the bride's family throws an engagement party where the engagement is announced. The actual ceremony involves trading rings. The brides moves her engagement ring from her right to left hand. Arabic blessings are given. This is the ceremony recognized by Islam and the government and is often done the week before the reception. The wedding reception is always held on a different day and is just basically a big party. In this case, the reception began at 9pm (typical in Egypt) and the bride and groom arrived around 11pm. Wedding guests gathered in the hallway and threw down coins and sequins on the path to welcome the bride and groom. Immediately upon arrival, the bride dances with her father and the groom dances with his mother. Then the bride and groom dance and everyone cheers.

This particular reception was held at the Four Seasons Cairo which is ostensibly the closest thing to a 5-star hotel available in Egypt. The ballroom was transformed with LOADS of white flowers on the tables and really every available orifice. Flowers hung with little lights from the ceiling (see photo) and on the tables (another photo). There was even a traditional "family tree" (see photo) that contained pictures of the entire extended family. It was truly magical and not dissimilar to what I imagine would have greeted guests at Cinderella's ball.

The bride was wearing all white (typical) and lots of diamonds. Her dress was bustled the entire time. Cameras were hung from long poles and filmed her every move which the 600 + guests could watch on one of two jumbo-sized screens on either side of the room (see photo). The groom mostly followed the bride around and occasionally looked relieved to see his "fellows" ... pretty much the same as an American wedding. He was wearing a tux with bowtie.

The reception music was LOUD and I don't mean American-loud. I mean deafeningly, front and center at a rock concert loud. Appetizers were served from a bar. Waiters came around with drinks (non-alcoholic of course). Joe and I perused the menu. Mmmmmm ... what to have, salmon, shrimp, pasta shells, steak???? So many choices. Turns out they were serving ALL in a 7 course dinner!

All this loud music and small talk with my students was making me thirsty and I was relieved to see our lemon / mint juice arrive. As the waiter was delivering my juice, Joe's tipped off the tray and onto the back of my dress. The waiter shouted "sorry Madame" and rushed into the crowd for fear of getting fired (hotels here are notorious for firing an employee after only 1 transgression). I zipped off to the bathroom dripping all the way. I had so much lemonade on me that I had to literally squeeze out my underwear. The dress was clingy and I totally reeked of lemon. While I tried my best to clean up, a kind 20-something year old dressed like Jasmine in a (real) Versace gown offered me her perfume. She had brought THREE large-sized bottles for the occasion! THREE! I politely declined wonder how exactly these overpowering scents would "go" with eau de citrus. I come back to the party to the faces of my worried students "Doctor, where did you go so fast?" Joe and I got a huge chuckle about how my magnetism for disaster seems to transcend cultures. 

Anyway, I made it back in time for the throwing of the bouquet (naturally set to Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)". One of my students caught the bouquet which caused a stir since the average age that upper class Egyptians get married is about 30. If there was a garter throwing ceremony, I didn't see it on the jumbo-tron. The bride and groom walked through a sea of women with the arms up (like "London Bridge" with lots of all -female dyads. Each group then "locked them up" so they had to smootch (see photo). It was all very sensual coupled with the gowns chosen by the bride's guests (would've made any NYC designer proud) and the skin exposed . So much for the "conservative" Middle East.

Joe and I left after the 2nd course of the 7course meal. Although most of the meal was served at the table, there was a buffet for the "in between times" (see photo). It was 2am and I was cold, sticky, and exhausted. It was a magical evening though ... one that likely went all night. It was like watching a fairy tale up close. Two people literally falling in love for the first time. I am so glad that we could be there to witness.

Venice, Greece, and Croatia: How I kept my sanity dragging 2 little kids through Europe

2009-09-27T10:32:00.001-07:00

I'd love to say that I am the kind of mom that created whimsical reasons why the kids should care about a 1500 year old basillica in Venice or why they should walk (unbribed) up a zillion hills to get a glimpse of the sun setting over the acropolis in Athens. Please remember this kids....you will be really impressed one day! :) Even if you aren't...you made your mother's year at least pausing the "I want gelato" whine to check out the medieval wall in Croatia!

Wish I had better advice for other travelling parents-our best idea was researching the sights and creating "treasure hunts" for each with redeemable points for pizza and gelato timed to meal/snack times. :)

New Beginnings

2009-09-13T04:12:00.000-07:00

Hi all-

So, the new semester is in full swing at AUC. Back by popular demand are excerpts from my students' biographies. As usual, they are funny, humbling, and even a bit inspirational (arranged by general type):

Honest
"When I first signed up for this class it was my intention to basically just go for easy classes to boost my GPA since last semester I didn’t do as well as I had hoped."

"I signed up for this course because like so many others, I've always had an interest in psychology and understanding the human mind. I've even considered having it as my major at one point. Besides, most of my friends love going around diagnosing each other, both to try and make sense of this world and to make themselves feel like they're smarter than one another. I want in on that."

"I am taking this course because I usually wanted to know more and understand Psychology, especially because of the fact that in Egypt Psychiatrists usually freak people out. That’s why the idea of studying Psychology seems very interesting to me."

"I'm trying to get a solid background in child psychology, or adolescent psychology (if there is such a thing) to become a guidance counselor for high schoolers, as my guidance counselor had the IQ of peat moss. My preferred learning style is a combination of lecture/discussion as I feel note taking to be a waste of time"

Funny
"I'm witty, impeccably mannered, and exceedingly handsome to boot. For a guy who's never been outside the Middle East, I also have an unparalleled command of the English language, which I use to write stupid shit from time to time that makes people laugh."

"Shopping is also one of my very favorite hobbies it puts me in an amazing state of happiness."

Inspirational (and a little scary)
"This course will be my pocket guide for my life journey."

"The reason why I (am a business major) is because of my dad. Even though I never studied business and wouldn’t want to but according to my dad I would do good in the marketing field or that I have a marketing eye or something like that. So I still didn’t decide because I still have no idea with what I’m going to do."

"I am willing to do whatever it takes in this course to get an A because this is the only course I have been looking forward to all summer!"

Enjoy the rest of September!

Kolle Sana Wenta Tayib (Every year, the same)

2009-08-20T11:19:00.000-07:00

Kolle Sana Wenta Tayib (litearlly "Every year, the same"-a traditional Ramadan greeting that is roughly equivalent of "It's the most wonderful time of the year...it's the hap-happiest season of ALLLLLLL")

Yes, it is Ramadan again…the Muslim equivalent of Christmas…only with a month’s fasting, lots of prayer, and an inward focus on God and all that is right and good. Then again, Ramadan in Egypt is nothing like Christmas in America is it?

So, in Egyptian parlance, today was Thanksgiving Day +1…the biggest shopping day of the year. Where was I? Carrefour-the Egyptian (French actually) Wal-mart. Pretty crowded-and I do crowds. Still, I loved every minute of it…mostly because I got to see some many funny things. Here is an example:

I reach the pasta pinnacle of Carrefour at exactly the same time as a very ordinary-looking Egyptian lady and I offer my hand signaling that she should go first. Naturally, she goes first and stops right in front of me and loads 4 FLATS OF MACCARONI (24 bags per flat and 8 servings per bag) INTO HER CART!!!! Really…this is the month of fasting? What was she doing—preparing for Moses to come back? Who needs that much macaroni? I would have just passed it off as a “weird Egypt sighting” but the woman behind her got 2 flats, the woman behind her, 2 more flats. I sat there for a full 2 minutes people watching. Have I missed the announcement that pasta was being discontinued world-wide?

Anyway, our lanterns are up. Ramadan Kareem (Happy Ramadan!)

Re-Entry!

2009-08-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

I have never known an astronaut personally but I suspect there is a moment when returning from space…you know right at the last minute when they pull the rip cord and go sailing into the ocean. Surely, it feels like a bizarre mixture of relief meets hitting a brick wall. It’s gotta be like when you are going 50 mph on a roller coaster and it suddenly comes to a “full and complete stop…thank you for riding the Brain Scrambler at Paramount’s Kings Dominion and have a great day”. Anyway, this is a feeling that all humans share…be it going back to work after a week at the beach, or that first day of post-Christmas diet…getting a credit card statement. Today, I got my turn. Yep, ya just swallow it and try to keep moving forward. So it was with our first official “return from summer leave”.

I have been warned of the difficulty of just such moments. Returning from 2 months of fun in the sun would be difficult on anyone. However, I, like most ex-pats, am surprisingly self-absorbed about every little difficulty in my charmed life. I will say though that 24 hours never seems longer than when spanned over 3 continents and human species virtually unknown to each other except by tenuous ex-pat threads such as our own. I spent what could have passed for an eon at Raleigh/Durham airport crying my eyes out about how much I’d miss my family. I felt comforted that the kids were crying too…they’d miss the sunshine, and the toads hopping around at my parents’ house…and then I figured out they were faking it to make me laugh. Despite the overcrowded airport, people began to slowly back away from us. Yes, we are the ones crazy enough to live in Egypt.

We made the connection in England with all the speed of a socialist official reforming health care…clunky, with lots of prim looks and virtually no help. I don’t understand Anglophiles at all.

Arrival in Egypt was hot (predictably), chaotic (predictably), crowded (predictably), frustrating (predictably) and filled with cross-cultural gaffes (should have been predictable). There was the woman in line ahead of us at baggage claim who refused to acknowledge a clean, upper-class, and well-intentioned Egyptian family who followed her around yelling “you are welcome in Egypt”. I explained to her that in Arabic “welcome to” and “welcome in” mean the same thing. She looked at me as if I had two heads (oh crap! Was I speaking in Arabic or English?) and told me “yeah, I just couldn’t understand her broken English”. Oh boy! I feel pretty bad for her tour guide already. “This is zee Sphinx. “Oh, it is ‘ZSPINX”…I thought it was just called ‘the Sphinx”. He already looked haggled with about 10 such travelers. I should have given him a little appreciatory tip just for existing for Americans like that. I didn’t. Because I am American and cheap like that.

We checked the maximum amount of luggage allotted to our family size-8 suitcases of 50lbs each and 8 carryons. Sixteen in all! One checked bag was lost in transit. It is always about the one that got away isn’t it? I can’t help but think of all that bag could have contained (World peace? Whirled peas? Which would I want more here in the land of stinky Pharaoh food?) While Joe was filling out a missing bag report (joke) and trying to figure out who to bribe to go look for it (truth), I took the kids to meet our driver. Once we located him, we sat ourselves comfortably beside a large family who looked to simply be picnicking in the airport for the day. If they were waiting for anyone, it wasn’t obvious to us. With the family sat a boy about 10 years old who sheepishly looked quite interested in the many bag of books and activities that my thoughtful mother packed for our journey (thanks mom!). I handed the boy a “Where’s Waldo?” or “Waldo feyn?”) book to look at with Aedan who at this point was over the airport seats making himself comfortable among the caftans. Naturally, everyone in the airport encroached to take paparazzi style photos of my little 6 year old blonde wonder “oh my…he is reading a book”….”look at that, he walks to his mother to ask for a Kleenex!”. Virginia was off in her own starlet-world receiving kisses on the cheek from TSA official (NOT kidding! Aren't they supposed to be protecting travellers?). I wondered for the millionth time how my kids would do with all the attention and blinding flashbulbs in their faces. I need not have worried. Aren’t all kids programmed to be adored?

Two minutes before Joe arrived with the fateful news about our missing bag, the leader of the caftanned group asked me (in Arabic) if he could take “EEEEEdan” (Aedan) to “my country”. To buy myself time to keep from screaming “are you INSANE”, I politely asked where his country was. After all, it had been a long flight to be a mother of a small child and maybe Australia wouldn’t have been too bad. Just kidding! Anyway, once convinced that I would not allow Aedan to travel without one of his parents, Grandfather Caftan asked us all to dinner at his place (in "his country" which turned out to be Egypt). This was not a joke nor is it uncommon in Egypt. I think that Egyptians fantasize about having a blonde child to their house (more paparrazi photos and without the annoying problem of running out of battery charge!) the way I fantasize about running into Gloria Steinem in the airport and inviting her for a Starbucks. Anyway, his offer was totally sincere and despite my rational, logical, politically-correct training, I started getting a little panicky. “Well”, I reasoned to him, I really would LOVE to come with my husband, but you see, we were just returning from a long journey and I needed to return home to ready our home”. “AHHHH, okay” opines a patient Grandfather Caftan. “Take my mobile number so we can do it tomorrow. I will cook many chickens to welcome you in Egypt”. “Thank you Thank you” I say, trying to avoid an international incident before ever technically stepping on Egyptian soil. “I will try to call”. Just then and with the timing of a stand-up comedian and the attitude reserved only for daughters to their mothers, Virginia says to me “Mooooom. Didn’t you know that Pinocchio’s nose grew when he lied!”. Whoops! Time for a nose job!

Yes, welcome in Egypt indeed!

Time (for a) change!

2009-04-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

So I was woken up at 4am for the 5am call to prayer. The time is supposed to change here (although it was somewhat in question because Ramadan starts in August this year). Yesterday was the Egyptian celebration of the first day of spring. So a time change makes sense, right? Surely I would know if the time was changing, right? Well, yes and no. Because this is Egypt.

No one really knows if and when the time changes. Apparently it is still up for debate in the Egyptian government. This is just one of the many things that it is driving me crazy right now. I mean, I have to get the kids to school and myself on a bus to work which theoretically runs on a timetable. I should know what time it is right? I don't read arabic so I guess I won't find out via newspaper. I will just figure it out when I figure it out. According to "worldtime.com", time change is next weekend. Who knows?

Our washing machine is broken (yes, for the 5th time this year). According to the repair man, I have had to replace the motor twice now due to "bad water". Are there quality differences in the Nile water between myself and the neighboring apartments? Huh?

Finally, we stayed in a hotel this past weekend and forgot to return the room key. We have received no fewer than 3 frantic calls in the 12 hours since we left. They don't have a spare room key. What hotel doesn't have a spare room key?

Apparently my patience for the idiosyncrisies of Egypt lasts approx 9 months. I can't wait for a summer in the US!

Never one to leave off on a sour note (even if I feel REALLY sour right now)....something from a good friend of mine who called above-mentioned hotel to inquire whether she could bring her 4 month old puppy with her to the hotel:

> Ramada: You need reservation?
> Friend: No I have reservation.
> R: When?
> F: This weekend.
> R: We have no rooms this weekend.
> F: I have a reservation. My friend made it.
> R: Dr. Ashley? Or Dr. Marcy?
> F: Dr. Marcy.
> R: Okay and you want to find out about dog?
> F: Yes, I want to know if I can bring my dog.
> R: What kind of dog is?
> F: It's a small dog. 3 kilos.
> R: Small dog? What color is?
> F: White.
> R: White?
> F: Yes, white.
> R: Not black?
> F: No, not black.
> R: And you are wife of Dr. Marcy, friend of Miss Mary?
> F: Yes.
> R: You can bring dog.

ARGH! I think I am going to have to eat McDonald's for lunch today!

Windsurfing!

2009-04-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

A day on the “Magic Planet”!

2009-03-23T05:23:00.001-07:00

So, it is the kids’ spring break…I differentiate this from the parent’s spring break which is not until April. Joe actually brought up the point that by definition, parents never have a true “spring break” but alas I digress….

So, the S-Rs are hanging out and saving money for their windsurfing trip to Ras Sudr next month. Nonetheless, we can’t go the entire week without an event worthy of mention in the much feared “what I did on my time off from school” kindergarten writing assignment. Maybe it was like this when I was a child, and my super-parents were immune to the weekly guilt trip. However, it seems to me that “how I spent my weekend/spring break/summer vacation/etc” writing assignments are Satan’s reminder of how horrific of a parent I am. This pressure is only ramped up at an international school when mere weekend plans often involve cross-cultural travel, semi-famous people, and infinite hyper-educational cool-ness. I mean, how many times can Aedan get away with saying “I watched Tom and Jerry and went to the park with my sister” before the bad-parent police call me in for questioning…..

Again, I digress….

So, in the attempt to provide my children with a noteworthy spring break, I plan a Cairo amusement park getaway (ok not so educational but definitely enviable from the perspective of another kindergartener). It seems that Cairo hosts several amusement parks and one is particularly recommended by a good friend as being safe AND clean (you don’t usually get both here). So, I foolishly announce plans to the kids. Then I find out it is across town (2 hrs+) and at least a $50USD cab ride each way. So much for saving money. Oh well….let’s live it up. Then, we all wake up with colds. I can’t even imagine holding a shrieking Virginia on the flying saucer with a head cold…as insufferable as it is normally. So, I do what every mother with kids young enough to get away with it does….bait and switch. Throw in a sugary treat and switch plans to something less cumbersome…

Mom: Aedan, we are going to the amusement park called “Magic Planet” tomorrow!
Aedan (unenthusiastic): Isn’t that the small arcade attached to the grocery store?
Mom (fake confused): Oh, I guess it is….but they have ice cream!
Aedan (now truly excited): Cool!

So we arrive at “Magic Planet” (all the cool things in Cairo have English names). I am feeling full of myself because I have pulled off the scheme so well… But, this being Egypt, there is a little snag….the reloadable money card for rides doesn’t work and it will be fixed “en sha’ Allah” (literally, “God-willing” but in reality, whenever the guy feels up to it after 3 cups of tea, 4 ciggies, and a long chat with his mom on the mobile”). Seeing my displeasure, he offered to let the kids on the playground for free. Now, this was a REALLY cool playground and they had the whole area to themselves. Eventually, all of the S-Rs wore themselves out and we went for Pizza Hut dippers (does pizza come with KFC BBQ sauce in the US these days?) and ice cream. Really, what goes better with cheese pizza covered in ranch dressing than “ba-ba-ba-blueberry mango surprise” sorbet? To borrow a phrase from my cousin….”gross me out the door” Virginia!

What a day! The kids loved Magic Planet and we even managed a bit of shopping before the kids (and their parents) dropped from exhaustion. Our best find was the fresh squeezed sugar cane juice. Again, maybe I am showing my ignorance here but I was totally amazed that a person can stick an entire bamboo-like shoot into a blender and come out with juice! It was so delicious (like savory but light sugar-water if you can imagine it) that we ordered a liter…..23 shoots later (yes, we counted), we were outta there but not before Joe and I got a chuckle out of the mangled-English “thanks for try our supper jooce….it’s nice and it’s hygienic!” Oh good grief! I didn’t even consider the hygiene….probably best not to do so.

The cab ride home was “so Cairo”….High speeds on semi-paved roads weaving in and out of skanky looking street dogs and large hunks of concrete. Naturally, reggae singer and 1990s American phenom Shaggy came on the radio “how could I foooooorget that I had given her an extra key. All this time, she was standin’ there she never took her eyes off me!”. Cabbie groovin’ out and singing at the top of his voice….kids stifling major attack of the giggles in the backseat. Hopefully Virginia had no idea what she was laughing at. The cab driver had no idea what he was singing…and of course it was the “nasty edition” of the song (I looked it up on i-tunes when I got home).

After a near miss with the neighborhood Coptic Christian trash collector who dared make the Egyptian-idol wannabe cabbie hit the brakes, I demanded that the cab slow down. Cabbie responded by slowing down, yes, but turning up the bass just to spite me. So, I started dancing in the back of the cab and he turned on the strobe light….It was a house party in the backseat of a cab.

Only in Egypt….only on the day of the Magic Planet….a real spring break to remember. Wonder how much of this makes the kindergarten paper!

Get me out of McArabia!

2009-03-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

Cultural Adjustment....
Every 2cent psychology textbook quotes this sort of accepted theory that cultural adjustment comes in phases:
Honeymoon: "Life is PERFECT here!"
Crisis: "Calgon, take me far...far....far...away!"
and Adjustment: "Things here are just as peachy as they are anywhere else"

When I studied abroad in England my Sophmore year of college, I went through these phases in a matter of weeks. Joe reports his adjustment to the south as taking a mere matter of days (who wouldn't like it down there?). Apparently, Egypt takes MONTHS to cram it all in....

So, when I first got here, I studied arabic like a madwoman, I visited every historic site I possibly could, I never ate the same meal twice. So, now I am back to reality. Who knows what triggered the change but I can definately note it. I am no longer enamoured with the "fun" bargaining over 30cents at the souk. The dirt doesn't seem "charming" anymore. I even stooped to the ultimate low.....I ate at McDonalds.....several times.

I have to say that the fries here are better but ya sure gotta work for them. Ordering fast food here is like shoving your way into the New York Stock Exchange. Fries! Fries! Fries! 5LE! You think Egyptians wait in lines? Maalesh! (Egyptian colloquial for "fuggedaboutit!"). Same exact scene though. Same scary clown advertisements. Same evaporated onions and Egyptians are actually honest that these things are FAKE. Same scanty 2 pickles (if you are lucky). Same delicious coke through the big straw. Same stick-in-your-throat buns... So pretty much all is the same...except when it is different. A few interesting twists....Big Macs comes with chicken patties (and special sauce). I think this will be great...once I get up the gumption to try it. Also, I have never seen the McArabia on the US menu. It is 2 patties of kofta I guess...beef sorta. I wonder how that tastes with special sauce?

I can't help but wonder if my new obsession with McDonald's has a deeper meaning in me trying to reconcile the US-Ashley with the Egypt-Ashley. How much of me is "special sauce"? Conversely, how much of me is hard-to-swallow no matter what culture? And....will I ever learn to like a McArabia?

:)

Some final wonderful bios from my AUC students....

2009-02-07T01:03:00.000-08:00

Responses to my first posting about my new experiences with AUC students were so overwhelmingly positive that I decided to post just a few more gems....This is a combo of amazing, sweet, and downright hilarious. In academics where obfuscation seems to be the cultural norm, their honesty was like an oasis in the desert....
again each paragraph is a new student...all from my Psych 101 class:
---------------------------
My first name, (name withheld), has two meanings. The first being a loyal friend (the description sounds too similar to man’s best friend), which is the meaning my parents had told me. The other, meaning a drinking buddy, which I learnt from my French teacher in school and from a Facebook application. I like to think I live up to the first meaning.
--------------------
(Note from Ashley)-This student wrote several pages so I have excerpted below…
My full name is (name withheld to protect confidentiality). My parents are originally from Iraq (Kurds), I was, however, born in Sophia Bulgaria in the year 1985. My parents had escaped the horrors of war and tyranny in Iraq, in hope of a more prosperous life in Europe. However, when I was only five months old my family emigrated to Denmark. Thus I have lived in Denmark virtually all my life.
During my years in public school I grow up in a neighborhood, most people would classify lower social class. Crime and drug abuse were only among the few evils that lurked around the corner of the building blocks constituting our home. I was however among the few of my peers who actually made it to upper secondary school (equivalent to high school). I hope my engagement in the psychology department at AUC might help me to accomplish my goal to enter a Phd program in the US, after completing my undergraduate here. My aim is to return to my country one day, and be able to say I managed to escape the shackles of low social class, and thus being able to inspire other people to make the world we live in a better place.
-----------------
I'm in my third year, graduated school in 2006. I'm a sophomore and I'm majorless intended mechanical engineering but would seriously think of intending psychology major if promised an A in this class. I honestly signed up for this class because it's one of the electives i have to take and psychology sounded more exciting than sociology or other classes. I hoped to learn how to hypnotize people but was told by a friend we are not going to learn such skill. Moreover like to learn how the human mind works. My hobbies are mainly sports, I play soccer, tennis and swimming. There is nothing specific about the way I learn but I'm not a good learner under pressure, I love pictures they stick to my mind quickly.
--------------
First of all, my name is (name withheld to protect confidentiality); I am Egyptian coming from a middle-upper class. My credits put me between freshman and sophomore; my intended major is Architectural Engineering. I signed up for this class because I heard that this type of courses is totally beneficial for one’s social life. A friend of mine took this class in the winter session and he was so amused with the enormous block of information he knew after he finished the course with a letter grade B (Ashley’s note: Joe taught this class. When the student says “amused” he really means “ticked off about his grade”). My first impression about this course was that it would be so boring because I thought that the content of the subject is limited. But, when I bought the selected book, I was overwhelmed by the real positive impact this class will provide me with at the end. My hobbies are somehow complicated; for instance, I play soccer for a club called shooting club since I was a kid. Moreover, this class will increase my passion in continuing playing soccer just because most of the elder people oblige me to focus on soccer besides college. By taking this course I hope I could be able to understand the others and know where I stand at this moment in which I could distinguish the fake facial expressions from the real ones. Last but not least, it is my great pleasure that I had an opportunity of taking this course and I hope I can learn every single word you say Dr. Ashley.
-----------
Wow! I sure have my hands full preparing for these students.

Teaching Egyptians

2009-02-04T22:24:00.000-08:00

Many of you have asked what it is like teaching at American University Cairo (AUC)and whether I have noted any cross-cultural differences between my NC State Students and my AUC students. I think I can best answer this by giving you a snapshot of my first assignment. My AUC students were asked to tell me their major/minor, what year they were in school (freshman, sophomore, etc), why they are taking Intro to Psychology, their hobbies/interests, and anything else about themselves that they though I should know. Here is what a few of them said...I think it gives a sense of who they are as people and what incredible personal histories must have led them to the honor of higher education. As you can tell, I am very fond of them already...they are strikingly honest, very personable, and occasionally totally hilarious! Please cut them some slack on the English. For many of them, English is a third or fourth language. Each paragraph is a different student:
----------------
I, like most people have many obsessions and interests; for instance for leisure I enjoy traveling, camping in the desert, listening to music, dancing, beaches and islands, and watching TV shows especially the genre drama. I believe I have a short concentration span this is why I took the class Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday (as opposed to Monday/Wednesday) as the classes are shorter

My main hobbies are simply sport! I love playing and watching all sports, but my favourite sport is football (soccer to Americans!), and have been playing it all my life, as well as playing for a team for the past few years. I don’t have any particular hobbies that I continually do, other then sport and surfing the internet, as my hobbies change from time to time, but the one thing I always try to do is have a good time! So that usually involves going out with my friends on a regular basis doing anything we find fun! On the other hand I find reading boring, and only do it when I have to for college work.

I hope that I will learn to be able to know things that my enemies would hide of me. Also, I hope to learn when are people lying to me and when are they saying the truth.

I can’t say that I have any specific interests or hobbies, I’m not an artistic person, I pretty much chose a major just for a good career because I don’t really have a passion for a specific topic.

The only method that does not work with me when studying is memorization. I have experience with that, as studying for (name deleted to protect confidentiality) exams is based on memorizing and I always had a problem with that, so ultimately the subjects I did well in were those no memorization was needed, like maths and statistics

For a long period, one of my dreams was to become a psychiatrist and have my own clinic in the future and be able to delve in it. But I had never really been interested in medicine as a college. As a child and growing up, I didn’t know that I had to join medical school from the very beginning to be able to reach my former ultimate dream. Thus, I could say that joining this class is making up for my dream of learning what had intrigued me for so long…. Taking this course is really exciting for me and I just hope to be as good at it as I’ve always dreamt.
--------------
I am very honored indeed to have been given this challenge.....It appears that expectations for Psychology 101 are quite high!

:)

-Ashley

Happy Inauguration Day!

2009-01-20T02:03:00.001-08:00

Another uniquely American milestone that we are watching from Egypt…Although I was a Hillary supporter until about 2 weeks before she dropped out, no one jumped on the “Obama Yes We Can!” train faster. Quite simply, we S-Rs are caught up in the Obamania…

So, how does one celebrate this day in history from Egypt? Almost every American adult I know is either going to an election party (with satellite TV) or going to the Maadi House (the American club) to watch it all unfold on CNN. I have Bible study tonight but I think Joe is going to sit on the couch and watch it with a beer (maybe he’ll be part of the beer-drinking democrat constituency). We may even keep Aedan up to watch it.

Of course, Aedan doesn’t see the big deal about an African-American president. He asks me “why would African Americans and women and Native Americans and Chinese Americans, etc etc not be president Mom?”. Good question….and very heartening to hear. Perhaps the real victory in electing the first AA president isn’t for the generations who finally learn that with hard work and a little luck, anyone can be president. Perhaps the real victory is for the generation that never think otherwise.

January...and a new resolution....

2009-01-11T01:51:00.000-08:00

So we are home from a rejuvenating Christmas trip home to the US. What an amazing trip it was to spend so much time with family and friends. People who I might see every 2-3 years came from miles around to visit us. Dad took the full 2 weeks off to be with us. Mom wrapped about a zillion Christmas presents for the kids. We spent almost every day with a different set of friends. I felt my best friend’s first baby kick in his mom’s tummy and I heard in-person that my cousin has another miracle on the way. I saw all but 2 of my cousins and the kids spent lots of time with their Godparents. I reunited with an old friend I haven’t seen in years. I met my NJ friend’s new boyfriend. I heard tales of boyfriends past and maybe future and I cried when my old boss told me how much she cared about my career. I watched Aedan rekindle a friendship with his “best Raleigh friend” and I heard my daughter drop her emerging Arabic accent for my dad’s southern drawl. It was simply, the best Christmas ever.

Returning “home” was a little strange. I’m sure that my experience was no different than many of you who travel from the homes of your youth back to the “home” of your nuclear family, job, etc. For us, it was culture shock all over again….Upon landing, Virginia says to me in a quiet voice “Mom, I don’t want to be here”. A million thoughts run through my head….of course, she doesn’t want to be in Egypt. Why would she? She has grandparents and aunts and uncles in America. She can get new toys and eat good food and see her old friends…this trip down memory lane quickly spiraled to a guilty panic culminating in what must be the millionth time I have asked myself “what are we doing here”? Luckily, my brain paused to hear the end of her comment…”Mom, I don’t want to be here because Steinem is in our Egypt home”. She wants off the plane, not off the continent. Why must we mothers give ourselves the constant guilt trip? If in America: “I should show her more of the world”. When in Egypt: “I should keep her close to family”. I hear it, I say it…we all mean it…my friends here and my friends in the US. So maybe my New Year’s Resolution (is Jan 11 too late to make a resolution?) should be to simply be….We’ll see how long I can keep that resolution!

So Christmas break was fantastic and a good R and R before the coming semester. This February brings changes for the S-Rs. Mommy is going back to work. Technically, I have been working; I have been teaching at NCSU online but it rarely took me out of the house. In addition to NCSU this semester, I will be teaching 2 sections of 1 psychology course at American University-Cairo (AUC) where Joe teaches. I am excited and a little nervous (good thing Joe gets to walk me to class…isn’t that cute?). I wonder if I will ever teach long enough to not look around when someone calls me Dr. S-R or if I will ever get over that lump-swallowing moment when I look around and realize that they expect me to actually teach them something? Anyway, we have hired someone to come in 3 days a week to help with the cleaning, washing, and to get the kids from school at 3 until I arrive home at 3:15. I don’t know why this is such a huge deal to me (everyone here has help at least 3 days a week!), but it really is. First of all, our kids have never had a nanny or have been in childcare. I’ll admit that I am a horrible snob about this but we made the sacrifice and somehow have made it all work for almost 6 years now. I know that childcare 15 minutes/1 day a week (Joe will be home the other 2) hardly counts as a raising a “nanny kid” but still… It is also something new for me to have someone in the house when I am working from home. It is a tiny bit of noise but it doesn’t bother me…I just find myself wondering what to do with my dirty tea cup when she just washed the dishes. I should just put it in the sink but instead I hide it in a drawer to wash privately later. I am a nut, aren’t I? Still, what is a well-mannered southern belle to do?

Our new housekeeper started today and she is amazing. My filthy house has been transformed and she wants to cook us dinner (Wow! Sure!). I have no idea what she is going to do from 8am-6pm 3 days a week but Joe reminded me that I seemed busy from 6am-12midnight 7 days a week so surely the help would be nice (hint, hint, I think he wants more attention). We don’t have a choice about the down-sides of Egypt (the flying sand, the filth, the fact that you have to boil water, and triple wash vegetables, etc) so why not enjoy some of the up-sides (like affordable help). Mary is the roommate of our neighbor and good friends’ nanny and I am hoping that having a friend in the building will help her feel less isolated. I know I get lonely here all day by myself. Mary is a refugee from Ethiopia and I’m not comfortable asking about her backstory just yet. I do know that my neighbor told me about some pretty horrific ethnic cleansing and I know that starvation is a real problem there. I also know that it is very hard to gain political asylum in the US and that many African refugees come to Egypt to gain asylum through the United Nations. From my limited experience, I can see that these refugees tend to be better-off, more well-educated, and are incredibly willing to do anything to save themselves and their families from repression. I am going to learn more about Ethiopian politics in particular and will post more when I know more.

All this is to say that I have mixed feelings about hiring a refugee. I want to help but I have never been one of those who could say “give them a job you don’t want to do yourself” with a clear conscious. Is hiring someone to clean your house really lifting a person up? Still, I know we will be good to her. I know we will pay her. I know we will respect her. She is probably better off with us than somewhere else. Lots of Americans here have advised me to play the upper hand…not to smile, not to engage, and not care at all about the people who work for you. Oh well. I’m not sure I ever want to be capable of that. For example, when talking about today’s schedule, I mentioned that I though we could eat together around 12noon which would give us enough time to eat, clean up, and get my daughter from school. She looked down and (in the most non-manipulating way) said “I am ok madam. I am used to going a long time without eating”. How can I convey how very sad I was to hear this? Now, I do know that she is not starving but the sentence was riddled with embarrassing post-colonial insinuations. See, this is the fun of being white in Egypt….too much awareness and not enough power to do anything about it.

On that note, I will close for now….Please enjoy this picture of the kids waiting for Santa!

Happy New Year!

Christmas in America!

2009-01-11T00:27:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Here is a picture of us hamming it up at the
"pyramid" Hard Rock Cafe in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Lots to post...more soon!

Thanksgiving Near Turkey

2008-11-29T22:06:00.000-08:00

Tis the season to begin with white lies...like "Santa is watching" and "I can afford it!"...so it begins with "Thanksgiving near Turkey". In truth, despite both cities being "over there", Istanbul is almost 800 miles from Cairo. Still, it is nearer to me than many of you and it provides a catchy title for a blog :)

Many of you have emailed asking what Thanksgiving is like in Cairo. Like many specific "American" holidays (4th of July, Memorial Day, etc), hardly anyone celebrates. Especially the Brits...I mean, it has been more than 225 years...get over it already! We've managed to grin and bear Gordon Brown so the least they can do is keep their "bah humbug" to themselves.

That said, those of us (americans) who do celebrate Thanksgiving do so with gusto. The Simons-Rudolph family hosted 3 american exchange students. Whole experience=huge ego boost for Ashley. Now, I am not known for my cooking but to be fair, I am halfway decent these days and those college kids were ravenous! We put away a fairly traditional meal of chicken, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potato pie, etc etc.

Another favorite e-question is whether they have turkeys in Egypt. I don't actually know the answer to that but my guess from the exorbitant price....no. So we ordered rotisserie chicken delivered to our door for $1 USD. Cheating you say? Why yes...just as I would have done in the US...only no delivery and certainly more than $1. :)

Now, like many of you, we are preparing our hearts and home for Christmas. Almost everyone we know is traveling so there is an air of anticipation. Some of us are lucky enough to be heading home but the rest are traveling within the middle east and north africa. Now Christmas is pretty weird here...a few stores have hopped on the US expat train and put out (awful...think Wal-mart post Christmas leftovers that don't even go in the 75% off sale!) santas and Christmas trees. There is almost no Christian religious imagery up (not too unlike the US, unfortunately). No Christmas music... I didn't miss it in August (when I am told it began in Raleigh's Walmart) but I do miss it a bit now. To get us more in the spirit, I went out and bought a (potted) tree and a few strings of lights. Virginia contributed with some fancy tinsel boa thing. The kids decorated the tree and we hung stockings over our (non-working) fireplace. In some ways, the low-key christmas here (coupled with a definite high-energy christmas supplied by my parents when we arrive in raleigh) is a relief. In some ways, it makes me even more homesick. I mean, I totally missed the blow-by-blow post Thanksgiving shopping stories from my friend Kari who lives for the deals and for the war-stories! Oh well, on balance, this is all is an unforgettable experience....even if my kids can't quite remember the words to "deck the halls".

-Ashley

Whirling Dervish

2008-11-23T05:27:00.000-08:00

My brief but spectacular career as a Whirling Dervish in Cairo....

Aedan's Mummy Jokes!

2008-11-19T09:30:00.000-08:00

Here are some of the best from Egyptian Culture week at his school.....

Q: What do you call a mummy that sleeps all day?

A: Lazybones

Q: What’s the speed limit in Egypt?

A: 55 Niles an hour

Q: What game do mummies like to play?

A: Casketball

Q: What do you say when you’ve seen a terrible mummy movie?

A: It really sphinx

Q: What did the mummy say when he got angry with the skeleton?

A: I have a bone to pick with you

Q: Where do mummies swim?

A: In the dead sea

Q: What did the boy mummy say to the girl mummy when he took her out of her tomb?

A: I really dig you!

From: Mummy Riddles by Katy Hall and Lisa Eisenberg

2008-11-16T06:40:00.000-08:00

The breathtaking Citadel in Cairo....

Virginia and Ashley travel to Fagnoon

2008-10-25T05:11:00.001-07:00

en'
r

Virginia and Ashley took a "girls day" to the Art Colony at Fagnoon, right outside of Cairo. Take a look! Shown:

-Just before our trip....Virginia in pigtails in front of office door showing off a recent masterpiece
-Virginia on homemade rope swing at entrance to Fagnoon
-Virginia and friend enjoy bouncing on homemade trampoline of bedsprings and handwoven mats!
-Virginia and best friend from preschool enjoy painting...look mom, they let me paint the table here!
-Virginia does her first pottery
-Virginia and Mom show off dirty hands--mud compliments of the Nile River!
-"Big kids" enjoy a game of mud soccer. You haven't seen the "real" Egypt until you see fully veiled young women mud wrestle!...look closely...everyone mud wrestles in Egypt!
-time for lunch! V and A stop for some homemade "baladi bread" (whole wheat pita) straight out of a the mud brick oven!

Bent Pyramid!

2008-10-18T01:59:00.000-07:00

Near the Red Pyramid lies the Bent Pyramid....
named for its change in angles. The Bent Pyramid was originally built wide and then narrowed to a 54.3 degree angle at the top giving it a "bent" look. Some of the original limestone casing remains giving you a glimpse of what pyramids looked like in their heydey (smooth and white).

Interestingly, the Old Kingdom pharaoh, Snofru (2613-2588 BC) had4 pyramids built for himself... He had two failed attempts (which are now, still visible, lumps of sand and rock), then the Red Pyramid, then was finally laid to rest in the Bent Pyramid. No know quite knows how he got away with this infraction of the "one ka (life energy), one pyramid" rule.

The S-Rs visit Dahshur (Red and Bent Pyramids)!

2008-10-18T01:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we traveled 45 minutes outside of the neighborhood to visit a carpet school (where they make those lovely "oriental" things we walk on) and the Pyramids at South Saqqarra.

They were amazing!

Here are pictures from the Red Pyramid:

Shown:
-Steps going up to entrance (you gotta go up before you can go down)
-Inside looking up (quite a small and narrow space)
-Ashley and Gin climb scaffolding stairs inside to funerary room
-entering the pyramid (once inside...you crawl down a really long set of stairs in a space 3 ft by 3 ft...not for the claustrophobic!)
-3 different views of outside the Red Pyramid
(named for the color of limestone that used to on its casing)

2008-10-08T09:44:00.000-07:00

h

While in Dahab, we took a day-trip to St. Katherine's Monastery. St. Katherine's was built at the base of Mt. Sinai (where Moses ascended to recieve 10 Commandments) and around the original site of the burning bush (from the Bible). St. Katherine's is still a working monestary with both Christians and Muslims working there side by side. It is really unique in that way. In the museum, there are is a scroll from the Prophet Mohammed himself asking that St. Katherine's not be destroyed because of its historical significance. Honestly, I think it has survived the test of time because it is so darn far from ANYTHING. We drove 2 hrs in the dessert to see this! Also, there is the creepy factor. Supposedly, one of St. Katherine's monks had a vision that the body of the real St. Katherine could be found perfectly preserved in the mountain. He went to get her and prayed for 7 years at her side that she would give him her hand (weird souvenir?). The hand bones are on display inside the holy sanctuary and the body is in the crypt near the burning bush. We saw lots of people (Muslims and Christians) on pilgrimage there. That was really cool. Many of these people fell down to their knees in prayer. It was an incredibly neat thing to experience.

Sights (from left to right, top to bottom)

-Virginia on the pilgrimage trek to St. Katherine's (and we only had to walk from the van!)
-the calf in the mountain. One of the idols that angered God
-View of St. Katherine's from Mt. Sinai
-Aedan and Virginia on Mt. Sinai
-A healthy looking burning bush (supposedly it was moved 100 ft so the monks could place an altar over the exact growth spot)
-Joe and Ashley cheese it up in front of the burning bush

Dahab

2008-10-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

Our El-Aid pictures are posted in 2 segments; Dahab and St. Catherine's. We stayed in Dahab which is a 7 hour drive from Cairo under the Suez Canal (much shallower than you would think) onto the southeast corner of the Sinai Peninsula. It is a little beach town with a "corniche" (pedestrian walkway) along the Red Sea. Most hotels are along the beach/corniche. Each hotel had an associated restaurant and all seating was "bedouin style" (driftwood covered with pillows and blankets with a short coffee table to eat on). The kids totally loved rolling around while they ate! Many people in the Middle East do still eat lying down (as they did in the time of Jesus, etc) so it was kinda authentic. Most people dive and snorkel from shore which makes this a relatively unique spot in the world. The coral reefs were only about 25 ft offshore! Awesome sights!

Above pictures show (left to right, top to bottom):
-Dahab at dusk. See people dining and snorkeling
-close up of the Red Sea and "Sabri Arabia" (as Virginia calls it). Other people call it "Saudi Arabia"
-Ashley pointing to yet another "only in Egypt" sign
-access point for scuba and snorkeling. No sandy beach here on the coral reef
-Dahab coastline. Saudi Arabia mts in the background
-Aedan zonked....vacation is for sleeping!
-Bedouin Style seating and friends of ours enjoying a lie down
-close up of mountains. Note lack of plant life/water
-closeup of Bedouin Style seating

Person of my Week!

2008-09-27T10:23:00.001-07:00

This is Deena....Aedan's Egyptian Culture Teacher.

While she may or may not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, I think she has a far greater power...She can keep 18 kindergartners interested in something as boring as dates and figs for 2 months AND she can create kindergarten songs (complete with hand motions) about dates:
Have you ever been in Egypt...
Picking dates from the tree...
See the pharaohs dancing (yep, you know the moves for this one!)
Riding on a donkey...
Hi Ho and Away we Go!
A donkey ride, a donkey ride!
Hi Ho and Away we Go!
Riding on a donkey!

Deena, you are my hero and thus my Person of the Week!

Date Farm!

2008-09-27T09:51:00.001-07:00

Aedan's Kindergarten class visited a date farm. Aedan (who is taking "Egyptian Culture" this semester), served as my tour guide. Below: aged corn stalks mark farm boundaries, top branches from tall date

trees such as this make furniture (interior of branch) and rope (exterior of branch). Above: dates drying in the sun on blankets and baskets made of date palms. Mud brick house constructed by local farmer. A donkey takes a break from hard day's work to give Aedan and friend a ride! Red dates ready to be picked. Egyptian Culture teacher explains dates to class. Finally, a final view of the date tree.

I myself am not much of a date fan but there is nothing better than a fresh picked date washed in the Nile! Well, it was great until the next morning when "mummy tummy" returned (Traveller's hint, if you see a dead donkey float by, don't wash your food in the water! Reality: the Nile is the water!)

Nonetheless, having lots of fun here....
-Ashley

The crap I am buying!

2008-09-15T03:43:00.000-07:00

So I've been looking to buy Aedan some ninja turtles (of TMNT fame) and have walked through a pair of shoes doing so. I don't know why this has become so important to me but my quest for these darn things far exceeds their value to Aedan. Not that I haven't found them...I have...only they are "fake" ones. For example, Michelangelo is wearing a blue mask when everyone knows that the "real" Michelangelo wears an orange mask...

So, I finally talked Aedan into liking Spiderman (which is easier to find here). Joe and I went on a shopping trip to a new, more Egyptian part of town and I stopped in a grocery store. Everything was so cheap there (I have sooooo been getting ripped off in Maadi). Guess what! I found Spiderman! Please see the picture. If you can't read the text it says: "Spiderman. Special for you of children design. It will give you infinite pleasure!" Who could resist that?

:)

Spacers

2008-09-13T05:19:00.000-07:00

Ashley, 1988….flaming orange hair, way too many freckles for a small face, and coke bottle glasses finagled only half successfully into this-went-out-in-1985-Strawberry Shortcake eye glass frames. I’m sitting in the orthodontist’s office pondering the now apparent disconnect between “oh Ashley, he’s such a nice man” with the man before me wielding way too many metal sharp things for “such a nice man”. I was given much as a child, but straight teeth were left out of my stork’s delivery. My teeth were so piled up that I needed spacers…rubber bands inserted between teeth to make room for the metal braces to come. So, I dutifully got my spacers and returned 2 weeks later trying to remember that children with a death wish for their parents or their orthodontist would go to hell. As I opened up for the biggest and longest “aaaaaah” of my life, I pondered the meaning of a benevolent God. To the mind of a 12 year old, God was good. He gave you spacers…slightly painful things that prepared you for more painful things. All through my life, I can point to “spacers”. In the last couple of years for example, I broke my foot right before Aedan seriously hurt his arm (as any parent would tell you, they would rather face certain agony than watch their child in pain for a mere minute). My parents’ dear (but very old and sick) dog died only a few months before our beloved (young and not really sick) cat. See…it’s spacers. Proof of a divine plan. Proof that God hasn’t left us alone and defenseless. Proof that it can always get worse.

Nineteen years later, I still remember those tooth spacers…that brief moment when the cool wind whistled between my teeth before the ear-screeching, blood-tasting metal that followed. I try not to think of my adolescence often but it unavoidably crept up when attending a really great party last night. A colleague of Joe’s and friend of mine had a “celebration with libation” (great name, huh?). It felt awesome to get dressed up in some wild colors and sneak out in the cover of Ramadan darkness escaping out of “ex-pat Maadi” to “trendy Zamalek”. True to form, I wore out before the night had worn on….and I was looking for an escape route. On my way to freedom, I was stopped several times with polite “so how ya liking Cairo?” and I found myself parroting phrases on theme “oh, it is really great! Cairenes are so welcoming!” (true), “Super…hardly different than living in DC” (less true). After maybe the zillionth time and a grim resignation that I was there to stay…I wondered when I had become so shallow. I mean, we have had this incredibly life-altering adjustment here and the best I can characterize it is…. “good”. Surely there is a middle ground answer to that question that is more creative and perhaps more honest? On the cab ride home, I figured out what was really bugging me. It wasn’t my depth, it was my sense of jinx. Life was good and I wasn’t going to risk it going downhill by blathering on to a group of people I just met. Not last night, that is. Yet, the jinx remains. Could our good times and reasonable level of homesickness, frustration, etc be the “spacers” with cold, hard, braces yet to come? Can anyone (without mind altering drugs, that is) suck the cool wind between their teeth forever?

I got my answer from my best friend. We were chit chatting forever when she said to me: “sounds like things are really good. I am so happy for you Ashley” to which I unwittingly topped the statement by saying “yeah…really great. I mean, if I could move our family and some friends over, I’d stay here forever”. Gong! Look out below…this elevator’s a comin’ down fast! To her credit, my BFF recovered with a convincing “really-that’s great!”. I mean, what was I thinking? It is so easy to get sucked into the vacuum here and I must have had my arms on the frame of the hose and my feet dangling inside. Calling Captain Obvious….it’s Ashley. Cairo is NOT…I repeat NOT North Carolina. Do you read the 14^th page of the international news? Boulders broke off a cliff and killed like 100 people here. Government response? Riot police! And it’s hot….and Starbucks doesn’t carry chai because the freaking Arabic word for tea is “chai” and they can’t figure out why I always come in asking for something and never leave having bought it! I think my daddy (next best thing to God) says it best (southern accent ready) “Honey, if Cairo were that great…the rich yankee snowbirds would leave Florida for the rest of us!”….The cool wind between your teeth is when you “go native” living in the moment and forgetting for a second, for a minute, who you really are. It’s the hard reality of reconciling two irreconcilable lives that straightens your path and aligns your values for the rest of your life forward.

Lest I leave my scientific roots…I took an informal poll of my ex-pat buddies and they feel similarly conflicted about their experiences abroad and in Cairo specifically. We are “good”….just don’t ask us how we are liking Cairo.

Lots of love (of that I am sure!),

Ashley

Image of the week

2008-09-09T05:03:00.000-07:00

Hi all-

We are all having a great week! We went to the Red Sea last weekend...it was really awesome to be there. The Red Sea is clear like the Carribean with a stunning backdrop of red mountains in the distance. We visited a famous beach called Ain Soulkna near the Suez Canal and about 1 1/2 hrs from Cairo. For El Eid (end of Ramandan-week off) we will visit the famous corral reefs of Dahab/Sharm El-Sheik. Although we didn't see the plethora of fish that we expect to see in a few weeks, Aedan found a live sand dollar and Virginia found a live starfish. The water was totally clear and very shallow. We walked the eqivalent to the end of the pier and Joe and I could still stand up in the water! Water was also very warm on top but quite cold about 2 ft down. It was strange because you would think that the clear water would keep a more consistent heat but now I understand why snorkelers here sometimes wear a wetsuit...even in the summer.

The S-R family is getting settled. Aedan is doing great in school and as he proudly reports, has a girlfriend (friend who is a girl...at least in his mind) who is not (again, as he reports) "kissy-ga-ga". No one outside of kindergarten knows what this means but apparently this is a big deal in kindergarten world. Virginia is liking her new, English-speaking preschool. She is learning a bit of arabic. They have lessons every day during circle time. Joe has started teaching and loves it. He is proud to report that he has a balcony off his office. In Egypt, what you have reflects your relative status (sad but true). Students are a bit in awe of him (because of the balcony?) and it is a refreshing surprise from the cooled attitude from US college students. I have taken up arabic full-time and am making great strides...I can now reliably get bread, milk, and cheese from the market....and I can say thank you without offending anyone. Really, that is saying something. Arabic is totally different from English...different alphabet, different syntax, etc. In some ways, this actually makes it easier. However, I am in an arabic class of 12, taught in English, wherein I am the only native english speaker (lots of asians and europeans). The teacher was reviewing arabic vowels and she made the long "e" sound...giving the example like "eeee" in "beeeeg"...eg I am going to have a "beeeeeg" hotdog (big hot dog). So, you can say that I am learning european english to learn arabic (pronounced "ah-RAY-bick").

Anyway, we are finding some humor in being the only american around. Everyone wants to talk about Dallas (yes, the TV show). I don't know if it is showing again or what but supposedly I am to know "who shot JR?". I haven't the heart to tell them that I wasn't even cognizant when that show came on in the US...maybe alive but certainly not watching it. I seem to remember my mom sending me away when someone wanted to talk about it one time. Anyway, I get these questions about the show all the time which is totally bizzare and when I walked into the non-alcohol-serving "bar" this weekend, the piano player started playing "American songs" like "we are the world", "new york new york...just want to be a part of it!", and yes, something from the "hit show" (his words...not mine) Dallas. To be sure, Virginia and I appeased the crowd flashing the peace sign and with a short version of the can-can....I promptly left for the Dallas song. Maybe Egyptians will get the hint. :)

Anywhoo....I wanted to post this image as the "image of the week". So often, I want to show you the "real Cairo"...not the gentrified american part where I live, but not the trash eating children like you see Suzanne-what's-her-name hugging on TV. This picture captures what I think of as the pride of the typical Egyptian. His name is Ahmed and he cleans houses by day and runs this felucca by night. He doesn't have many teeth left but has a beautiful smile when he gets to show off Cairo. He loves it when foreigners try to speak arabic (such as I can) and he goes for a swim in the Nile when his boss isn't looking. I will try to compile more pictures of the real people and real sights of Cairo and post as I can....

Lots of love from the Middle East-
-ashley

Ramadan pictures

2008-09-09T04:49:00.000-07:00

Here are some Ramadan scenes from Cairo....

First picture shows a large and ornate lantern. Many apartment buildings have these hanging. This particular lantern hangs on the street of Virginia's preschool.

Second picture shows a standing lantern. These can be found in enormous villas or restaurants. They really glow when lit.

Third picture is of Ramadan lights-in-shape-of-lantern (similar to Christmas lights) hung on a door of our building. We actually have the same lights hanging but don't have a plug so can't actually turn them on...ha ha

Fourth picture is a small Ramadan lantern. Almost every household has one of these hanging on their front entryway. They are almost always lit at night with an electric bulb.

Finally, sundown (Iftar time!) on the Nile...

Also to celebrate, many Egyptians wrap tree trunks in brightly colored cloth or decorate front stoops with bright plastic (not shown). Like the US during the Christmas season, almost every house has some sort of celebratory decoration even if the tenants are not Muslim. For those who cannot afford decorations, creative trash is strung into often-gorgeous decorations.

Ramadan Kareem! Have a generous Ramadan

2008-09-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

We are well into Ramadan, the most holy month of the year for Muslims. As I may have mentioned, some 90% of Egyptians are Muslim and Muslim holidays, etc greatly influence culture similar to Judeo-Christianity in the US. So, I am no Islamic scholar but here is what I can tell you about Ramadan:

It is in the 9th month of the Islamic calendar (which is not necessarily the “Coptic” calendar but happens to coincide this year and it celebrates when the Qu’ran was given to the angel Gabriel who later revealed it in fits and starts to the Prophet Mahammad (as he is called in Egypt but nowhere else in the Middle East-same guy as Mohammed). Muslims have a lot to do in Ramadan but most important seem to be fasting, reading the whole Qur’an and praying a lot more than the usual 5 times a day. So, the fasting is probably the most fascinating to me….fasting begins at the “get up time” (not the official name obviously) just before dawn after a much-too-light meal (Suhoor) and no food or drink again until sunset (about 6pm) where there is an enormous daily feast called Iftar. I would like to stress no food or drink…at all….and the most devout of Muslims can be seen spitting out saliva on the street for fear of technically swallowing water. Every “able bodied” Muslim (usually age 12 and older, men and women, not pregnant and not the very old) is called to fast. Fasting is intended to refocus your spirit on Allah and help you to commiserate with the poor. As you can imagine, all this non-eating translates into lesser than usual (if possible) productivity and a reliable 3-6pm crankiness. However, most Muslims seem to take this in stride and marvel at us western Christians marveling at them. It is interesting to watch reactions to the fasting. While some Americans seem annoyed by the whole ordeal (I can’t get pizza delivery at my dinner time!!!!), most seem respectful and a bit in awe. On the otherhand, most non-Muslim Africans seem terribly suspicious of the whole shebang. I mean, don’t ask an Ethiopian Christian about fasting unless you want to hear and earful of theories about secret water-sipping, etc! I was also fascinated to learn that most Coptic Christians (8% of the remaining 10% in Egypt) also fast on or near the dates of Ramadan. Apparently fasting is a cultural tradition as well as a religious one (most Coptic women also cover their heads but there is another reason for this). However, unlike Muslims, Coptic Christians drink water during the day (good call!).

Now, we have all fasted for some time period or another, either before medical tests or just because we had a busy day. What I can’t imagine is not drinking water in 100+ degree heat. Magically, the Cairo temperature drastic decreased on the first day of Ramadan. Joe and I have two rival theories on this….either God loves Muslims like He loves Christians (me) or Muslims are too exhausted to do much so they generate less body heat thus decreasing the overall city heat (Joe). If you were here with us, you’d see that both theories are viable. There is an absolutely beautiful Islamic culture thriving, that, despite the abominations of my evangelical Christian friends, just can’t be totally, completely, 100% baloney. There are also a zillion people per square inch and less movement can actually translate into less heat. All in all, we are enjoying the emergence of fall…such as it is. Weather listed today’s high at a refreshing 97degrees. This is why I always look at the temps in Celsius! Watch for some pictures of Ramadan lanterns (Muslim equivalent of Christmas trees)….I’ll try to snap them tomorrow.

Our move!

2008-08-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me yesterday if I thought that we were still undergoing “big changes”. I guess you can say that again. Since I last wrote, we have moved flats (apts as they call them here). You may recall that we were considering our options when we got here. The university apparently sort of (not really) randomly assigns each family to a flat upon arrival. Moving is relatively common and the university is open (somewhat) to it. So, anyway, as you saw from the pictures, our old flat was fine….it was big enough, etc. but, like most flats in Cairo, it lacked any access to outdoor space whatsoever. I mean, not even a patch of grass to bounce a ball. And we were lonely….in a building with only rich Arabic speakers and Joe’s boss’s boss’s boss (who spends less than 3 months a year in Cairo). So, when we heard through the gossip trail that an apartment had opened up in the coveted AUC building across the street from Aedan’s school (and beside the AUC busstop), we JUMPED on it. By the grace of God, we got a GREAT apartment here. It is a 4 bedroom, 2 bath split level with such luxuries as a double sink (better to wash dishes with, my dear), and thermostats (which don’t actually work but the theory is good).

In short, we love the flat. It has a great shared “garden” larged paved space with a small playset, sandbox, swings, and place to ride bikes. The bowaabs (doormen) are AUC employees so they technically supposed to do their job without a bribe. The shared internet is free. You would think that we’d be thrilled and we are. Ironically, this is the biggest move we’ve ever made…much bigger than our move from NC to Egypt.

There are also at least 4 families here with young kids and life “on the commune” as I now privately call it, is well...communal. Big changes indeed!

Check out some pictures....

From left to right, top to bottom:

*VB enjoying some seasonal fruit in dine-in kitchen

*view of part of garden

*view from front deck off the dining room (exterior wall of Aedan's school-CAC)

*hallway with interesting, solid wood storage units

*living room with kids watching Disney channel

*Virginia's room

*kitchen

*view from master br deck-shared garden

Week 6-Never Live without your Bathmat!

2008-08-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

Our stuff came this week. All glorious 1400 lbs of our “must haves” arrived from the US a mere 8 weeks after shipment. We opened it to a barrage of sights and sounds of “home” and it was tough…the finality of our move. The relative permanency of not being able to get on a plane and come home to say “just kidding!” As we touched our soft clothes, yet unmarred by the highly chlorinated Cairo water and lack of clothes dryer, I briefly reconsidered our decision. What were we doing here?

I’m told that everyone has a breaking point and mine was our bathmat. Literally. After 2 days of unpacking and sorting, I finally put out the bathmat bought at Linens and Things. It is a gorgeous green color. I remember well the day it was bought. We had just moved into our new Raleigh house and somehow I had bundled up infant Virginia and post-partum me long enough to drop Aedan off at preschool and run to the store to get a new bathmat. I fell in love with the color. I loved the length…just perfect for a leisurely step out of our new garden tub. I remember berating myself for paying so much. We were “house poor” and had little expendable cash for such luxuries. I remember thinking of ways I could stretch a few groceries and come out almost even….the justifications went on all day and I think I probably even proudly presented them to Joe that night. Now, standing in my new bathroom and flooded with the memories, I wondered why nothing was soft in Egypt. Burlap and siskal seem to be the order of the day and the planned gifts of cheap, Egyptian cotton, to folks back home have been humorously dismissed. Walmart has better quality cotton than anything I have seen in Egypt. The mat is simply the softest thing we now own….it is thick, not bristly, and has a good, strong, no slip guard. I fell in love with it again. I bent down to take a closer look and my eyes fell upon the price mark (apparently left through various laundries to torture me again and again). Right beside it lay the words “made in Egypt”. Pretty ironic. My bathmat made it halfway around the world and back home again.

-Ashley

What does it mean to be an American?

2008-08-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

We were ar a dinner party the other night….It was:

*Joe and I plus kids

*A white-skinned couple with their 3 year old daughter who was adopted from Ethiopia as an infant-lived in Egypt her whole life

*Ella (1/2 Japanese ethnically and raised in Japan) and Michael (American) with 7 month old son born in Egypt

The hosts of this motley crue were our good friends here who were living in Chapel Hill NC before moving to Egypt a year and a half ago. They are white-skinned and have two adopted boys from Ethiopia. One boy was adopted as a toddler several years ago and one boy was adopted around age 4 about a year ago. The 4, now 5 year old has technically lived in the US only a few months of his life (one month before moving to Egypt) An interesting discussion came up while scooping unpronounceable but delicious Ethiopian food with that yummy spongy bread.….

The parents feel very strongly that the boys should hold on to their Ethiopian heritage and have put alot of care and thought into facilitating a positive cultural upbringing for their beautiful kids. For example, they have hired an Ethiopian nanny who speaks with them in the native language and cooks Ethiopian food (4 + nights per week). Anyway, their oldest son and Aedan came running into the room playing some 5 year old game…maybe Buzz Lightyear or The Incredibles and someone made a comment “all American kids, huh?”. This generated some complaints about families in the US who feel that raising kids elsewhere somehow limits their American-ness- clearly important virtue to this particular set of grandparents. Someone else said “well, you can be an American kid without ever living in America”. This brought up an interesting question for me….how much of identity is set by your passport? Beyond the legalities, what does it mean to be an American living in Egypt?

I will back up and say that unlike being an American in western Europe or Australia for example, being an American in Egypt (and the entire Middle East I would guess) isn’t just a novelty here…it really defines our entire lives…what we can or can’t do, what we can say, what people expect from us. Any hope of blending into the “melting pot” is ironically, an American concept. There is no blending here…In my observation, Egyptians don’t even blend among themselves. The benchmark is to first embrace and then minimize difference. We strive to be the “good Americans” or the exception to the noisy, boisterous, arrogant English-speaking but very lucrative rule. But as in other parts of the world, we are the country that everyone hates to love and loves to hate. Egyptians do truly love Americans and they don’t want us speaking Arabic. They’d rather practice their English. And oh boy….do they love their 1980s american tv and American import foods, etc. They want to hear all about Disney World, and New York City, and Beeeel Clinton. J

I have found that embracing my American identity helps affiliate me with a “club” (literally-the Maadi House)…a sea of people who also struggle to learn Arabic, negotiate taxicabs, get a fair price at the fruit market, etc. It is also terribly limiting to be American. I know this because we are often relieved when people think Joe is Spanish and we are treated completely differently-fewer expectations, more joking around. I find myself slipping in and out of French with the kids (who must think I am crazy) when in a taxicab with whom I have to negotiate…say flicking ashes to the backseat or driving too fast. Put simply, Egyptians treat Americans as the uber-class and they simultaneously hate us for it. Sometimes faking another nationality eases the situation just enough to make it bearable. While I have set a personal standard of not denying my American status, I certainly am comfortable about misrepresenting my nationality.

But back to my dinner party friends who try so hard to create Cairo-Americana. Does this survivalism somehow lessen our American-ness? What does this mean for us when we return to the US? What does it teach our kids? Looking at my blonde-haired boy who has been in Egypt a month, who holds an exclusive US passport, and who will return to the US in 2 years…of course he is an American. I wouldn’t even question it. The interesting thing is that all of the other dinner-party parents felt exactly the same way. Not only did they prize their passport, they truly believed their kids to be just “regular American kids”. Unlike us, none of them have imminent plans to return to the US and none of their kids were born in the US, nor have lived in the US for a long period of time. Yet, they are American and their houses are filled with Disney movies and oreos and all of the good stuff. Is American stuff enough to raise an American kid? Can we impart American values? Or is identity where you were born? The color of your skin? Where your family lives? What kind of food you like the best? Where do we get that spirit of Americana? Is being American in Egypt a definition of what we cannot do (converse with taxicab drivers, get a fair price at food stands, etc) and what does that mean for non white-skinned Americans? For Egyptian Americans living in Egypt?

Your thoughts?

S-Rs in Egypt…what we eat

2008-08-08T22:31:00.000-07:00

After two somewhat depressing posts, I decided to take some time to explain more about daily life in

Egypt

Many of you have asked me what we eat here. This is fun to write about….

Many Egyptians are poor and maybe eat meat once a week and/or daily during feasts such as the upcoming Ramadan. Most Egyptians also do not have a way to refrigerate stuff (either because they lack electricity or lack a fridge) and don’t have a lot of excess cash so shopping is done daily.

That said, there are a lot of Americans and Europeans here and as quaint as it is to shop every day, it can get really old to never have any food around when say, your 3 year old gets hungry for lunch at 10am. We do about half of our shopping for staples (milk, sugar, cereal, oatmeal, etc) at what is known as “hypermarkets”. Hypermarkets are new phenomenon for Egyptians and seem to draw some disdain but I love them. Most of them are approximately the size of a Whole Foods and laid out like a grocery store in Europe (somewhat like a grocery store in the US only the healthy stuff is at the front of the store and not hidden away at the back AND there are some household goods there). There is only one hypermarket within walking distance (Metro) so we usually have to get a cab to either Alfa Market (right on the Nile!) or Carrefour (the largest of all markets-size of at least 3 Super-Walmarts! Ironically, very near the Giza pyramids). This is fine because we are usually stocking up on hefty things like paper towels, pullups, etc.

The other 50% of our shopping is done in local markets. There are 3 local markets (in order in which I like them) Miriam, Seoudi, and Kimo. Each has a slightly different stock. They are the size of maybe a large 7-Eleven. Prices are missing from many items making price comparison between the three almost impossible. People swear by the prices at one or another and most people shop at all three but are loyal to one. For us, it is Miriam Market because the staff always give Virginia a banana (which she doesn’t like but keeps her mouth shut until we get out of the store and gives it to me!) and because they always follow me around and take heavy things from my basket (there is no room for push baskets) and keep them for me up front. You’d think it would be annoying but it is really nice to like have room for yogurt even though you happened to grab space-hogging toilet paper first. Note that experience has shown us that it isn’t a great idea to buy fruits and veggies at hyper or local supermarkets. There just isn’t enough turnover and the merchants have seemingly trained in the US to wax and buff rotten fruit to make it look scrumptious in the light of market but disgusting in your own home. Also, most Egyptians don’t drink fresh milk, opting for liquid “milk” that doesn’t need to be refrigerated. You’ve got to be careful about the expiration dates and the fact that a stocker could have gotten confused and accidentally left a case of fresh milk out and stuck it in the fridge 3 days later. Buy in small batches. Rely on other Americans to tell you that the milk is bad at such and such place.

As a last resort and for our fruits and veggies, we shop the real local markets where Egyptians do almost all of their shopping. These vary from little kiosks and fruit stands pulled by donkeys to small urban-style strip shops. These mostly provide fruits and vegetables (most vendors sell one or the other but not both). They compete fiercely for your business and Americans have to walk way around the block to avoid showing “their” vendor evidence of purchase elsewhere. “Our” vendor is quite a walk away (nice because it avoids the jealousy issues) but delivers for free. He has a great selection, a shady spot, relatively few flies, and I think he is fair with me on the price without me haggling all day. His name is Ossama (yep, you read that right but note the spelling is different which I am convinced he did so we wouldn’t make the association…ha ha.).

So, what do we actually eat here? Despite the fact that “dieting” isn’t really even a concept that most Egyptians understand, we are dieting…sort of. Joe and I have lost almost 10 lbs each just on eating fruits and vegetables. This is the cheapest food and the best for us nutrition-wise so we as a family eat lots of fresh food. We don’t have the variety we had in the US though. Imports are expensive and hard to find so we are eating whatever is in season. I used to scorn the “localvore” movement but now find that it is the only way to live here…without spending a fortune and risking some weird foodhandling practices. So, right now, we are eating lots of roast chicken, watermelon, red grapes, hummus, baladi bread (like pita only yummier!), corn, peaches (imported but great!), broccoli (Joe is less-than-thrilled but is eating it), potatoes, tabouli, cucumbers, and red/green peppers. Red meat is expensive, steak is very hard to find…you can forget about pork. Even pepperoni is beef here. Yuck!

We also eat some of what I thought were American foods but turns out are European…like cinnabon. There is an infusion of American fast food chains here…Pizza Hut, McDonalds (with playland!), Burger King, KFC, Little Caesars, etc. Hardees stands heads and shoulders above the rest using local meats and fruits and veggies. Although we ate a lot of this initially, we find we just don’t have the taste for it anymore. Maybe if there was a Bojangles here, it would be different!

We typically eat breakfast and lunch from the cupboard and then order out for dinner. It seems extravagant but delivery can actually be cheaper than assembling it all yourself…especially given the bargaining disadvantage of my skin color. Of course, I am so disappointed not to be cooking all day (NOT!). We have kind of a routine…Monday is Dominos (3 medium pizzas for 50LE—the deals transcend cultures!), Tuesday is Mediterranean (hummus, cucumber sauce, tobouli, etc), Wednesday is scrambled eggs (I actually do those), Thursday is Italian, etc.

What is Egyptian cuisine? I know this disappoints many of you expecting a nice Egyptian meal from me when we return but it doesn’t seem to me that there is a distinct Egyptian cuisine. Egyptians eat local foods and tend towards a more Mediterranean diet (high in fruits and veggies, low on carbs especially white breads, etc, really low on meat), eat stuff with LOADS of sugar (like do you really need 4 heaping teaspoons of sugar in a small cup of tea?). Egyptians also eat a lot of northern Italian food (spaghetti with light sauce, fish, veal, etc), lots of lamb, and a fair bit of stinky French cheese (yum!). There are Egyptian cooking classes (someone making money off people like me, I’m sure) and we have tried Fuol (supposedly an Egyptian staple). Probably other people will love Fuol…it is like refried beans with a nice, mild flavor and Egyptians eat it in a bowl, wrapped in a sub sandwich, or on pita. It really does taste good but it smells a fright. I have no idea why it smells so bad but it does. The S-Rs hate refried beans but we managed a couple of servings one day. It is that good tasting…but we don’t put that in our fridge to stink up the house.

Although there isn’t necessarily Egyptian cuisine, there is definitely an Egyptian approach to eating. Egyptians are showy when it comes to food. Food is always served on fancy plates and looking its best with sprinkles of herbs, etc. Egyptians eat late…like lunch is around 2:30 or 3pm and a 10pm dinner (starting with a soup course) is not out of order. We often catch the tail end of the lunch crowd when we feed the kids at 5pm. Egyptian kids get like 5 hours of sleep per night but that is a story for another day…Anyway, the Egyptians take their time with the meal (something impossible for us to do if we have waited until 10pm) and smoke Shisha (water) pipes (long, lamp-looking things sitting on the floor with a hose and a mouthpiece) between courses. They eat a lot. They hang out with friends. Every day. It is pretty cool if you aren’t starving (which we are-see above diet of fruits and veggies).

So in sum, the S-Rs are surviving on a somewhat local diet with the occasional western-treat (like Mac and Cheese for $10 or Ritz Crackers for $6 a small box). When we get desperate for calories…there are always the 18cent cokes in the glass bottle at the vendor just outside! J

Have a good week!

-Ashley

Goodbye to a Dear Friend

2008-08-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

Hi all-

It's been a while since my last post and that is mostly a good thing. It means we have met some new friends and I have been cultivating these new relationships. Aedan had his first-ever sleepover party (with new Cairo buddy). Joe had lunch with a friend from work. Virginia and I are cruising out and about with her Sudanese baby doll and doll stroller! We have also taken a 1 night "stay-cation" (like vacation, only you stay where you are) to a wonderful 5 star resort in Cairo (complete with 4 swimming pools and a wonderfully soft bed!).

Aedan starts kindergarten next week and Joe will be getting back to work very soon. Virginia will be starting a 3 day a week french immersion preschool in 2 weeks and I start Arabic as soon as I get them all settled. Vacation is almost over for the S-Rs and it is time to get to business! :)

With all of this excitement, Joe and I have carried a deep burden in our hearts. Many of you know that a classmate and good friend of Aedan's died this summer. We did not tell Aedan at the time because we felt that the timing was wrong with our travel and transition. We finally realized that there is never a good time to tell a 5 year that another kid died....there are simply less awful times. Honestly, time has given me no perspective on this. The memory of her and the things she would say or do still makes me sob....not cry...sob. Joe and I didn't necessarily pick this week to tell Aedan but the teachable moment just sort of happened. I told him. Nothing. I cried...he asked a few questions. He went to his room and cried. He cried on and off. I don't know if he knew what he was crying about except that I was crying. I asked him several times if he understood. He said he did but I just feel like he went blank. It was weird for him...I never would have expected that. It was a hard week but I feel selfishly relieved that I told him and that I wasn't hiding it from him anymore.

That said, we have taken a deep breath and are moving forward....just as I know she would have wanted. It's the only thing we can do, really.

Egypt still continues to be kind to us. We are already planning some local travel for Ramadan (cheap rates!) and are finding new ways to laugh at ourselves each day. For example, Joe speaking spanish when he thinks he is speaking arabic. Or...Joe trying to convince Virginia to try pate with "Virginia, would you like to try pate?'" to which Virginia replies "No thank you...dad, would you like to try butter?". Oh....the comedy and drama of each new day.

Lots of love!

-Ashley
PS New 2 story apt with a yard in the AUC building just opened up. Keep your fingers crossed for us. Maybe we can move?

Alexandria!

2008-08-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder where 15M rich Egyptians go in the summer....well Alexandria of course! Our trip was a total bust but it makes for some good stories...Alexandria is a quick, inexpensive 2 hour train ride from Cairo. It is an infusion of Greco-Roman and pharonic art and right on the Mediterranean sea. It is also way-too-crowded and chaotic for a breezy day-trip to the beach.

These pictures show kind of a mix of what we saw....a real roman coliseum that the kids could scramble onto, some interesting masonic symbolism, typical Egyptian "the devil may care" attitude about drooping wires (see column picture), and jam-packed living conditions (yep, that is Aedan to the left of the umbrellas actually trying to find the water!). The kids hated it. Our taxi got into a minor car wreck (everyone is ok but Virginia was thrown into the front seat as there are no seatbelts in Egypt), two other taxi drivers got lost, one dropped us off in the middle of nowhere, and one screamed at Joe until Joe finally said some choice words and threatened to get out without paying. I finally ended up throwing money at that taxi driver (not as much as he was demanding though but an amount that was mutually fair) and ran to a guard who went after the taxi guy with the brunt of his gun....Nonetheless, this whole trip gave us some major sympathy with the expats here and one actually gave us a bottle of wine to drown our misery (big deal since you can't buy it here). Bar none....our worst day in Egypt but as you can see.....still interesting.

Aedan starts school in a week and we have decided on one last back-to-school gig. I am almost embarrassed to say that we are going to the water park...something we could clearly do in the US but we all need a break from "culture". We are going on Wed and staying one night.
http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/caijw-jw-marriott-hotel-cairo/
At least we are getting the AUC discount....this place is supposed to be niiiiiiiice.....

Lots of love...
Ash and gang

What we're missing

2008-07-27T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hi again-

Today marks the end of Week 2 in Cairo. It also is a very special day in Joe’s family. Joe’s youngest brother Mike and his wife Andrea are having a baby today in Denver. This is a huge day for them and we wish more than anything that we could share it with them. In reality, if we lived in the States, we would likely be in NC teaching summer school and planning for a later visit to see the newborn. We wouldn’t likely “be there” at the hospital but the fact that we virtually cannot (versus would not) be there is a real bummer. Still, we got a good long visit with them a month back and hope we can make it through until we can get back to the states. A new baby in the family, a new niece or nephew, a new cousin....wow!

Back in the desert, we are trying to stay upbeat. We are still getting hilarious cultural experiences daily...

Aedan fell on Saturday night and I was afraid that he might have broken his arm. It turns out he was ok but a bit sore yesterday so he and I had a "pj day" wherein we planned to eat junk food and watch movies all day. Joe and Virginia, antsy to get out, had just left for a "short" walk around the block. Not 10 minutes after they left, 7 guys with dirty suitcases rang the bell saying that they were here to "feex for American". Naturally, I didn't let them in at first but they were insistent and it turns out that they were in fact from the university. Joe filled out some form a while back about some necessary repairs to the "flat" (our apt). The dirty suitcases were filled with equally filthy (and rusty) tools wherein they did fix stuff albeit not stuff that I would have had them fix given that I hadn't showered or dressed. Note that I am still in my pjs...and let's just say that while they do the trick, they aren't exactly "conservative" in the Middle Eastern sense of the word (they show my elbows for goodness sake).
Doorbell rings again....another 5 men from the university to install 3 new phone lines (Joe requested this but they were supposed to call to schedule). How many Egyptians does it take to install a phone line? Well, 1 and 4 to smoke outside :) Still, they came and the phone line is installed (and 2 of the 3 they put in actually work!) . I've heard this is good odds.
Doorbell rings again...our taxicab driver with "your new maid". Whaaaaaat? My new what? Again, I think Joe mentioned that we might get one and Mustafa took that to mean "go get me one" I guess. I know I read somewhere that Egyptians are offended if you do business without tea and cake but I was totally unprepared. I don't even own a tea pot. So I rustled up some tea and stuck it in a glass pitcher and "our new maid" screamed with laughter and said "I have much work here". Yes, indeed. Meanwhile, Aedan (doped up on tylenol) is running around the house yelling in parceltongue/snake language (like Harry Potter). It is quite possible that we scared the maid off. I have never seen anyone gulp down tea that fast!

After an unbelievable effort at telepathy, Joe returns from his "short" 3 hour walk with fresh flowers and a new vacuum cleaner (the way to my heart). Phone rings....someone talking loudly in Arabic. Joe asks if they are EgNet (DSL provider) and they say "I don't speak French" and hang up! This is all before noon yesterday....the day only gets more bizarre. It is like a choose your own adventure book..."If you choose to hire the maid and send her out to buy a teapot, go to page 6", "if you start screaming 'what are you doing here? I didn't call you and I am still in my pjs for goodness sakes!'" turn to page 12". I have the sneaking suspicion that all pages lead to the same conclusion...we'll manage....maybe even thrive. :)

As for the cat, well, poor Steiney is still adjusting to both Egypt and Virginia's newfound attention to her post-Bronco. To her credit, Steinem is mellowing but has discovered a few hiding places when she tires of being dressed up and pushed around in the stroller. See picture on left.

Lots of love and everyone be sending good thoughts to Mike and Drea.
-Ash

Aedan's School (Cairo American College)

2008-07-27T21:53:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures of Aedan's "campus"...
CAC serves students pre-k-12th grade international baccalaureate. These pictures show some of the 5 kindergarten classrooms beside the kindergarten playground and the soccer fields.

End of Week 2 in Cairo

2008-07-27T20:58:00.001-07:00

Beginning of Wk 2-we have survived!

2008-07-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what happens to your old beater cars that you trade in for $500? They end up as Egyptian taxis!

Funny (and true Egyptian story): Our shipment of clothes, etc isn’t coming for at least another couple of months. My bathing suit suddenly lost elastic. There is nothing to do in 110 degree heat but swim. After shopping in no less than 3 malls, I can’t find a SINGLE women’s bathing suit anywhere. I learn the word in Arabic and get laughed out of the shops. Women don’t swim! Anyway, I finally wander into a shop with paper over the windows named “SKIN!” (you know I had to check it out, right?) and to my amazement find one among the other taboo objects (sandals, granny panties, nail polish, etc)! It is “Teaser” brand (made in China) and stretches from mid-bicep to just above the knee (like a unitard only no calf). I paid the equivalent of $70 for it so I would have something to wear when I’m in the American pool (women welcome) with my 3 year old. Joe endures jokes from the sales clerk about his seducing wife (in her unitard).

All joking aside, lots of you have asked, “what’s life like in Egypt?” Well, for us, it has been totally opposite from our life in Egypt. Since we are nerds at heart, here’s a summary in table form:

Cairo vs. Raleigh

Really urban vs. suburban
Dirty, diesel taxis, often with smoking drivers with an axe to grind against infamous Cairo traffic. Seatbelts and air-conditioning optional. Car seat? Laughable vs Nice cars that have likely been serviced in the last 5 years.
Very hot vs. Hot
Long clothes the norm-“what else can I cover up and get away with it” vs. Short clothes the norm-“how short can I go”
Helpful people motivated by their love for Allah vs. Occasionally polite people motivated by sense of cosmic retribution…or nice people on a good day....depends :)
“Friends” are made in a period of hours vs. Friends are lifetime luxuries
Most people pray 5 times a day and all day on Friday vs. Most people pray every second of the day “please don’t let me yell at the these kids…please don’t let me be rude to my nosy neighbor…please don’t let me flip off the driver who cut me off”….
You eat… what you get…don’t ask what it is…you brought antibiotics from the States, right? vs. Lots and lots of options at the grocery store and Target, etc
Walk everywhere (see taxis above) vs. On a good day, walk several rows back to your parked car
Whole city is a museum….we were driving and saw someone actually living atop a REAL Roman Aquaduct. vs. Museums can be visited in a weekend
We miss our family and friends vs. We’re too busy to call our family and friends back 

So these are just a few things….
Since I last wrote, we went on a sailboat ride down the Nile and got some awesome pictures. As soon as we get something faster than dial-up (next week “en challah”), we’ll post them.

More then….
Lots of love…
The S-Rs

End of Week 1!

2008-07-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hi all-

Today marks one week in Cairo and what a week it has been. Already we have made a few friends, sort of learned our way around (well, not really) and joined a couple of local clubs.

Since I last wrote, the kids and I joined the CSA (Community Services Association) which gives us privileges to basically borrow English-language books and DVDs, sign Virginia up for ballet class, and just generally hang out at the coffee shop (with wifi!). We also bit the bullet and got a 2 month membership to the Maadi House which we are really liking. Aedan is working towards passing his swim test (25 m swim followed by 1 minute treading water in the deep end followed by an 8 ft dive to retrieve a penny from the bottom). Virginia can now swim half a lap unassisted. We have found someone who will give them swim lessons but Aedan seems not to need them now (following his friends around has improved his swimming markedly) and Virginia probably needs a little more time to adjust to her surroundings. There are a lot of very well educated expat spouses here that are bored (must not have young kids!) and give lessons in almost anything for almost nothing. It is great! For example, the swim teacher is a pediatrician whose wife is head of the USAID office here. He can’t technically practice medicine in Egypt so is giving swim lessons (he was a member of the US National team apparently) here. Pretty cool, huh?

We’ve begun to understand some of the local customs. For example, we know what the heck that guy hanging around the door of our apt building does. He is called a Boab and in exchange for free housing for his family, he guards the entrance to our building, picks up our trash to give to the Coptics to sort and sell, and runs errands for us. Egyptians treat him (and all Boabs) terribly yelling at him to fetch this and fetch that. The thinking that is that he was born into a lower caste-like and therefore he is there to serve them. With relief, I have noticed that even the Americans here who have “gone native” do not treat people this way. Pretty crazy.

We are starting to get used to the traffic and that cars (not pedestrians) have the right of way. We had a close call with Aedan who was a little far away from us. I shrieked bloody murder and the cab did swerve away from him. Ugh! Ever since then, Aedan stays close and our guardian angel is taking a well-deserved rest.

We are starting to learn the littlest bit of Arabic. I know the numbers and the names of a few things we need. Joe knows another few. I plan to kick it into gear in the next few days. Honestly, I have to get better at Arabic. Even the people that speak English well can hardly speak English. Cultural concepts are hard too…like when you tell a waiter “can you please bring my check…no rush”, he doesn’t understand “no rush”. He will literally run to serve you. Anyway, a couple more phrases would go a long way although I have to say that Aedan still leads the family in sensing the right thing to do and then telling us what to do (like “mom give him a tip” or “mom, the taxi driver wants us to show them on a map where we want to go”

I am also starting to get exactly what I should pay for stuff….everywhere it is “as you wish”. So like I go to buy a coke at the stand in front of my house and I ask the price (unmarked) and he says “as you wish”. I mean, I have no idea how much a coke costs here. It turns out…about 1LE (18cents) which is great because it is cold and in the glass bottle and you get to drink it with a bunch of people laughing and have a great time (even though you have no idea what they are talking about). Still, the whole pricing thing can be frustrating because there are certainly expectations and those seem to vary from vendor to vendor. Who (in the family) should negotiate also varies from vendor to vendor. Some vendors will not deal with a woman whatsoever unless I am alone with the kids (no choice for them). Some vendors give me a much better price than Joe. Sometimes it is better to say that you live here (because they don’t think you are a tourist and won’t rip you off) and sometimes it is better to be a tourist. Unbelievably, most resorts here give you 50% off rates if you are an Egyptian resident (which Joe will be in Sept). You who come to visit will benefit from his steep discount and we plan to do our Egypt travelling with you then! All said, the pricing stuff is confusing but I am making a list of suggestions and things that have worked and haven’t worked. It is good to have a working knowledge so you don’t offend anyone or pay too much.

I made an Egyptian friend a few days ago…we locked ourselves out of our apt (long story) but luckily Jenine was there to help. Cairo is so easy if you know who to call and she knew who to call. Anyway, she took Joe and the kids to Road 9 to get some chicken (fresh kill and roast-thought the kids would puke but Virginia loved it! Maybe she is a farm girl at heart?) and I waited for the locksmith. I was killing some time so I went to get an $0.18 coke and pick up a bit of Arabic (probably “why does this American hang out here all the time?”) and wandered into Hemi’s shop. Hemi is an Egyptian man who studied 4 years at AUC and did 1 year at University of Phoenix (I thought this was online school but he said he was in Phoenix???). He has lots of Virginia (the state, not the girl) memorabilia up in his store which interested me. Anyway, his English was comparatively good and he said that “he give best price” to my family and friends that come to visit. Anyway, we chatted several times and he invited Aedan to play him in chess. He basically hangs out in a store the size of our old living room (big for Cairo) or under the tree drinking an $0.18 coke. Despite being open from 10am past midnight (Cairo hours), he probably has only a few customers a week. This is typical of shopowners. They seem to get bored and are eager to make your acquaintance. They will keep you in there forever with chatting and there is absolutely no pressure to buy. Really. It is hard to believe but it is totally different here. I thought about what’s in it for them….but I think this is a very American concept. On the one hand, if I need tourist stuff, I will buy from Hemi because I am comfortable in his shop and I know his merchandise. On the other hand, I feel like we mutually like each other so even if I am not buying, I am welcome. Tomorrow, Aedan and I are bringing him sweet tea and he is making us Egyptian tea. He told Aedan “I am best in Egypt at tea and chess” so of course, Aedan couldn’t resist the challenge J Just another custom that we are getting used too….this one I actually like. Egyptians LOVE kids. Everywhere I go people just beam at them and want to touch them and hold them. I thought it was because they were American but there are a lot of Americans in Cairo and Egyptians do it with their own kids too. Very cool. Well maybe a bit annoying at the supermarket when the cashier plays peekaboo with Virginia for like 10 minutes while our cab was outside honking but still, very cool.

We went on our first sailboat down the Nile today. It was really awesome and for the price ($3 cab ride round trip and $10 for long boat ride), I feel like I want to go often. We saw the sun set over the Nile and it was remarkable. I’ll let the pictures tell the story….

I am off to watch College Road Trip with Joe which we rented from CSA. Aedan got Justice League and Virginia got Barney’s Christmas…so the usual choices here. J

Tomorrow Virginia and I have a playdate with some friends and Aedan, of course, has his chess game with Hemi.

Love,

Ashley

PS Pictures of Aedan’s school and Nile cruise coming tomorrow!

Making pictures bigger

2008-07-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hi there-

So you can't actually see who is on the camel and you want proof it was us? Is that it?

Anyway, I know the pictures are small and I am sorry. Probably you can get them bigger somehow but I need to ask around. Blogspot is a free webhost and I know that I am limited on how much I can post. In the meantime, you can right click on a picture and save it to your desk top. From there, you can enlarge the picture using the + and - keys. This isn't the best way but will work.

More substantive post coming soon along with pics of Aedan's school and description of Boab :)

Love,
Ashley

Oh and thanks for your comments

2008-07-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

Hi you all-
I just noticed that you can leave us comments too! I read them to the kids and will tell Joe when he comes home today. That is so cool. It makes me feel much less isolated that we can share this with you.

Thanks for logging on and letting us know you are "there".
Hugs and Kisses....
-Ashley

Day 4 Camels and Pyramids

2008-07-19T22:22:00.000-07:00

All but Virginia have adapted to Cairo-time but we are still struggling to get her to sleep at night. Truth be told, we were struggling with a bedtime routine before and this is only a tiny bit worse. She is a night owl and a party animal. We haven’t been entirely consistent because she is just so much fun at night and we like having that special time with her. On the flip side, she needs her sleep and it drives us crazy to not have any waking hours to do anything (like pay bills or just talk) without the kids needing something….drink of water, get out the playdough, read a story, etc etc. Anyway, that said, she didn’t get up until her usual 11am so we got a late start for the pyramids.

Aedan, being the expert taxi flagger in the family got a good one….In Egypt, you get to know your taxi drivers. You tip well and they help you with all kinds of things. Omar taught us how to say the name of our street in Arabic (very helpful!) as well as a few other survival phrases. He also negotiated a “friend” price for us at the pyramid tour office. But I am getting ahead of myself….

There are 2 sets of pyramids in the suburbs of Cairo and we decided to go to the smaller set (Giza) because they are closer and have the famous Sphinx which Aedan was really excited to see. We took the Corniche Nil (Nile Road) out of town which is a scenic drive and I almost forgot all of the obligatory honking, especially when I saw the new Starbucks which “God Willing” was actually open. I guess I should have known better to poke fun because although Starbucks is open on the Corniche Nil, chai is not offered in the Egypt market. Whaaaat???? Bottom line: no chai. I came back to the car empty-handed and I thought poor Aedan would burst into tears. When I explained what was going on, he sweetly said “but mom, 22 months is a long time for you to go without chai”. I told him that all of had to adapt a little and gave him some examples of the ways in which he had adapted and how I had to follow his lead and take it in stride like he had (Aedan puffed with pride at this point). However, Aedan gave me a spontaneous hug and said “sorry about the chai mom” He is such a good kid and I don’t give a damn about the chai anymore…..ok well maybe just a little but I will get over it.

So we zoom to Giza which is totally different than Cairo…very rural in a touristy way that you would expect. Virginia delighted in the donkeys carrying pyramid trinkets, etc and lots of kids running about. She was so cute about noticing EVERYTHING. I didn’t know this but only tour busses can get close enough to the pyramids to walk. This seems odd since Egyptians aren’t exactly known for their historic preservation. I suspect it is yet another money-making venture. Omar took us the tour office, introduced us as “friends” to the son of the Giza mayor (who unsurprisingly is the head of the tour office) and went straight for the bar (“Take your time at the pyramids my friends. Omar will be right here”). We were offered a camel or horseback and advised to take the horse but of course, we took the camels. I mean, who wouldn’t? For the record, Virginia wanted the horse because “she is so good at riding at Nana and Larry’s”. However, since Nana and Larry weren’t there to hold her on, we elected camel.

Riding a camel is pretty awesome and a bit scary. Aedan said it was the scariest thing that he has ever done (way double YIKES Mom!). You are high up there and camels are not exactly gentle, sweet-smelling animals. Virginia and Joe shared one camel and Aedan and I the other. When by some unknown reason I was selected as lead camel (of Joe and Virginia) and I apparently didn’t whip the camel hard enough, a boy of about 13 was hired to walk beside us and keep the camel in line. I don’t know how he did it or how we made it. It was like a 3 mile ride ON A SLOOOOW CAMEL. At one point, the camels burst into a run-walk and I swear I almost fainted. I am holding my 5 year old for dear life and (now over his initial fear) he is pointing out that this is EXACTLY like he read in Magic Tree House….I wanted to yell: WHERE IS THE TREEHOUSE? TAKE ME BACK TO FROG CREEK. But I didn’t. At least I think I didn’t.

Fear aside, the view was spectacular. I mean, we really felt like we were in the desert (we were) and it was totally unbelievable. I will never forget going over that hill and then BAM! The pyramids. Even though Giza is a tourist destination, it is pretty much desolate and really felt authentic. We took lots of pictures and the kids scrambled onto the pyramids. They let you climb all over them. We didn’t go inside the pyramids. It was too hot and we were all exhausted. We have been told that it isn’t a good idea for kids to go inside the pyramids because there are still high levels of bacteria from all of the ancient food that was stored there. I think this is probably bunk but I do know that all of the artifacts have been moved to museums and I figured we would be back with some of you so I didn’t push the kids.

There are 9 pyramids in Giza…Father, Son, and Grandson plus some for their extra not-so-good wives. Apparently the most beautiful and smart (which is always the same woman apparently…even in ancient Egypt some gals get all the luck!) wives get to stay with the pharaoh in the tomb. What’s the point, I say? I’d rather have my own pyramid. It was touching that Aedan said that he wanted to build a pyramid for himself, Joe, Rock, and Larry but when our guide told us that the slaves had to work without food or water (150 died each day in the effort) and that they were all killed at the end (their bodies buried, ironically with food and water) in the tombs so as to serve in the next life too, Aedan backed off the whole wanting-his-own-pyramid thing!

The Sphinx was relatively small in comparison to the pyramids and the vast beauty of the desert. They have some sort of crazy James Bond light show there at night which we will have to check out later. The nose was missing but had I not known, I wouldn’t have necessarily noticed the missing nose. For one thing, the Sphinx is covered in birds and for another, unlike the other pyramids, you can’t get close to it without buying an extra ticket. This was near the end of our tour and we barely had the energy to walk to the gate but you can see the pictures. We’ll definitely come back when the weather cools.

We returned into Omar’s safe care after some serious haggling with the tour guide about an appropriate tip (he wasn’t that great and we stuck to our price). In the end, Omar alerted the mayor’s son who yelled at him in Arabic. It worked out fine. We took care of Omar and he took care of us. We paid the hired camel boy and gave him the extra money we had planned to spend trying out the frappachinos….can you imagine pulling 2 camels in the desert for 6 miles several times per day for tourists?

After showers and a long nap, Joe had another allergy attack (Carol was right about the horse/camel hair thing). Thankfully, 1 Claritin seems to have mostly cleared it up. I woke up from the nap early and went to find the “nearest” grocery store”…it was only 3 blocks away but took several tries and 45 minutes to find. I was rewarded with Country Crock (salted, spreadable butter is hard to find here) and fresh skim milk (as opposed to the powdered kind that everyone drinks).

Later, Joe and I took the kids to CAC (Aedan’s school) where the kids ran around, ate animal crackers, and played badminton with a Japanese family. I am so proud of Aedan. He went right up to the probably 3^rd grader and asked if he could play with them. That took real guts and despite the language barrier, they played for almost an hour. Aedan even learned a few Japanese words (gamecock, racquets, etc I am thinking but who knows???). We sat companionably with the Japanese family while the kids played together and I smiled inwardly. This is why we came to Egypt…so we would have moments like this.

Sunday begins the Egyptian workweek and Joe is going into campus for the first time. It is hard to believe that it has been only a week here. I think we are well-settled given that it has only been a short time and Joe is ready to start his own adventure. Now that I can find Aedan’s school/playground and the grocery store somewhat reliably, I am feeling better about being alone with the kids. Of course, at the time of this writing…they haven’t woken up yet J

Best,

Ashley

Day 3-The Egyptian Museum

2008-07-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

Hello All-

Happy Holy Day. Here in Egypt, the work week is Sun-Thursday with Friday observed as the Holy Day (kind of like Sundays but there is still lots of commerce). There are churches here that have Sunday services and I wonder how well attended they are…will have to see. There is at least one Catholic and one “community church” within a few blocks of us. The only difference I can see in my neighborhood is that the nightly call to prayer goes on like forever on the loudspeaker. It is like the whole service is booming into the apartment. Kind of neat. Friday is also garbage pickup day for our building and our Boaab (kind of like a doorman/maintenance man/security detail) went round and knocked on the door requesting our trash. It isn’t like Raleigh where we generated uncharitable amounts. Until I know where I can get something, I am not throwing out a single carton. I might need that for Arabic translation or something…..

Day 3 was a busy one …. We all made it up before 11 today (woohoo) and I think we are probably well on our way to jetlag recovery. The day started slow and a tiny bit sad. I think Aedan is a little homesick. He asked to write to Franklin. Here is what he said: “Hi Franklin! It is way hotter here than Raleigh. The pool is warm. Love Aedan.” When I asked Aedan to tell Franklin one fun thing we did, he just shrugged. When I asked him how he was feeling, he just replied, “Egyptians don’t like Americans” (parroting a certain family friend who reflected his concern for us most inappropriately in front of the kids). When I pointed out several people in particular that had been nice to us, he replied that they carried guns so that they could shoot us. Oh goodness…how to explain a militaristic state to a 5 year old???

Anyway, an hour and 50zillion versions of “let’s keep an open mind” and “we are the world” later, we head out in the heat….It takes HOURS it seems to get out of the house. Most of the problem is the money. Egypt is a “cash economy” and everyone keeps their money in the proverbial sock drawer. Hardly anyone takes plastic. This is a big change for us but a welcome one when I saw the pile of US receipts I have yet to enter into Quicken. The problem with cash, however, is keeping track of it…especially when you can’t read the numbers too well. Even though Egypt is a safe country, I never think it a good idea to flash cash and even 20LE (about $4US) is a lot of money to most Egyptians…so the question is, how many pockets can you utilize and remember how much money is in each. For example, a taxi wants 5LE, right front pocket, museum is 100LE, Ashley’s purse second pocket, etc etc. Needless to say, the kids put on their shoes and stand there with eyerolls wondering when their parents will get it together. Virginia has decided to use the “downtime” to pack and repack her bunnies in the Barbie backpack that her cousin Kirra gave her. She doesn’t want to leave them behind “when we move to our new home”. I wanted to tell her that we were home but couldn’t quite do it as we are still lobbying the university for an apt slightly closer to Aedan’s school and Joe’s busstop. There is little chance of a move but the chance is still there. So we drag the bunnies everywhere. At least it isn’t her ratty blanket “bebo” although she still asks about it all the time when we are out of the house (where is bebo? Will we get bebo when we get back? Is Steinem sleeping on Bebo Etc etc)….

I managed to break Aedan’s anti-Egypt funk by insisting that he call the cab for us. It is really fun to hail a cab in Cairo. You just walk to the street and yell “TAX (insert the name of where you are going here)” So Aedan yelled “TAX-Egyptian Museum”. One appeared right away out of nowhere (wizard magic). Another funny thing about Egyptian taxis…you tell them what you want the fare to be. If you are in the ballpark, they may haggle with you and then take you. If you are too low, they will just zoom off without a word. Trying to get them to reveal the true price is impossible. The upside is that you can get a really good fare if you know what you are doing. The downside, we don’t know what we are doing. Luckily, my mom friend-Maria gave me some ideas on basic prices so we wouldn’t get horrifically ripped-off.

We head into what Joe calls the “rat-trap stinkbomb…can you believe this car is still running” to the famous Egyptian museum. While Joe is waiting in line for the tickets (almost always it is the man that does these sorts of manly buying things), I ask around about a tour guide. We got a great one! An Egyptology graduate from a 4 year university spent almost 2 hours one-on-one with us. The kids adored him. I haven’t learned as much in the books over the course of my lifetime as I learned from him in 2 hours. Lesson learned: A guide is a must. There are almost no signs in the Egypt museum. You wouldn’t want to listen to one of those audio-guides either…there is no air-con and it is too durn hot in there for anything. Still, we bore the heat and saw the most amazing sites. The kids (especially Virginia) loved hearing about the mummification process. We saw the famous sarcophagus (and gold and blue head thingee) from King Tut. We saw all kinds of stuff from Ramses II and Queen Hapshepsut (Virginia insisted on spending equal time discussing the queens…I was so proud of her!). I really can’t describe the experience. It was all really awesome. The preservation is amazing. I mean, the museum is essentially half as nice as the Raleigh Art Museum and still, the artifacts are right there…you can touch them. The Ancient Egyptians were really good at the mummification thing. There were still remnants of ancient organs (Virginia: “ewww” Aedan: “awesome…I want to see them again!”) and a mummy-dog that looked almost lifelike. Aedan loved reading the hieroglyphics which are pretty easy to understand with a primer. Then Virginia had to go to the bathroom. This was a dreaded moment for us because there really are no such things as public restrooms in Cairo. There was something in the museum but we paid dearly for it…about $1 for someone to show us to it who then followed us around the museum until our guide Naref told him off in Arabic. It was embarrassing and I am going to insist she go before we leave the house from now on. Anyway, bathroom aside, the museum was really really neat. This is a must do for those of you coming to visit!

When we could stand the heat no more, we bid Naref goodbye and went to hail a taxi home. Joe and I were carrying both kids by this time so there was no running up and yelling “TAX”. Some guy tried to charge us 50LE to get to the nearest Starbucks-halfway home and twice as much as we paid for the entire trip up to the museum. I was proud of us that we walked away. I mean, it was only $5 too much but still, he was trying to rip me off and I told him so. After I had my say, he looked pityingly at Joe who just smiled (with pride, I would like to think…ha ha). Uppidy woman!

It wasn’t long (like less than a minute) before I found another taxi that agreed to our reasonable price. He dropped us off right at the oasis (Starbucks)! Unfortunately, the Starbucks will open tomorrow (“God Willing”). I wanted to tell him that if God was a merciful God, then He was definitely willing since I hadn’t had a proper chai latte in 5 days! I didn’t do this….one uppidy remark per day is my limit and never anything having to do with religion J

We did find another café and happily munched on some paninis, brownies, and lesser-chai. Then, like a beacon in the darkness, we found a supermarket! A real one! With real stuff in it! With prices listed on the items! All in one shop! We got some much-needed supplies there and I feel confident that our family will have something to eat in the coming week. What a relief!

We returned home by a third taxi. All in all, our day cost us $63 (not including groceries but including dinner). Not bad for a big day out for a family of 4. Still, we worried that we should maybe put together a budget since we have so much “easy” cash and a lot of time to spend it in. The great news is that the university actually gave us some “settling in money” to buy things like a washer/dryer, TV, iron, toaster, etc. We figure that we already have a washer and if we don’t buy anything else, we can definitely travel on the cheap a bit before school starts. We are still considering a TV. I don’t know. We think that our Wii will be popular enough that we could find someone who would have a TV and want to play with us. We do have our video screens so we can technically play Wii…It is just an adjustment to play Guitar Hero on a 5 inch screen. J What do you think? Invest in a TV or bag it and travel more?

Well that is our day. Tomorrow we hope to see the pyramids at Giza. The kids are itching to see them and we can’t wait (other than the unbearable heat this time of year). If we do go, we’ll be sure to post a few pics. Oh and one final random remark…..quite a few Egyptians has mistaken Joe for a Spaniard (like from Spain) and have tried to engage him in Spanish. I am not sure what he makes of the rest of us (probably doesn’t notice us) but this provides us all with a good laugh. Ole!

Love,

Ashley

Day 2

2008-07-17T12:41:00.000-07:00

Hi all-

Another big day in Cairo. The kids and I woke up at 11am (but getting better about the jetlag). I think Joe is mostly over the jetlag. He managed to get up at 8:30 and call to cancel the repairman. Wouldn’t you know that something else broke virtually the minute he hung up…oh well.

So the 2 well-intentioned parents drug their kids away from their “bunny castle” and “very important video games” to go exploring the neighborhood. It was around 12noon when we got out. It wasn’t a full block and Virginia was begging (whining) to go home. We were so irritated. I mean, here we are in Egypt and we are sitting in an apartment???? Aedan knew better than to whine but I could tell that Joe and I were the only ones on the same page about the exploring. Of course, we were going the completely wrong way. I have no idea why we can’t find ANYTHING here. I think I mentioned no street signs and you can’t exactly ask just anyone for directions for the language barrier. We ended up almost inside an Islamic School which was kind of neat. It was set up really different than an American school…all one big room. Maybe they were having an assembly or something.

Anyway, Jenine (the provost’s wife from yesterday’s post) came by and we walked to the “shopping district” of Road 9. It is only about a 10-15 minute walk from our apt and a nice walk at that. I was hoping to do more shopping. I was literally faint with hunger. I mean, we have rice here but I am too hot to cook it. We needed food.

I can’t really describe Road 9. Those of you familiar with DC might liken it to 8^th St or H Street (before gentrification). Parts of it were like Eastern Market. There are some vendors selling fruit and others selling vegetables (few sell both and all get miffed if you show up with a bag from another vendor so you have to kind of hide other purchases and they pretend not to see). There is an open-air rotisserie for chicken and lots of little food stands. There are antiques and wood carvers. It’s a little dirty though and pretty chaotic. I was surprised since this is supposedly the American Market. I mean, I didn’t see any other Americans there and there was nothing American about this market. Janine seemed to think it quiet and quaint. At least I think that is what she said over the roar of the outdoor subway and people screaming pleasantries at each other in Arabic. There was a little of everything there though…reminded me a bit of the beginning of Aladdin when the vendor has a table of kitchen items, then snake stuff, then finally lamps….I have no idea how they cram so much stuff into those shops. Peanuts tumbling after spices, followed by an odd iron and then hand crafted earrings. It was kind of cool though and I am excited to go back when I can poke around a bit. The only trouble is that I am not willing to take the kids unless I know where I am going and I don’t want to go alone. Since Joe and I don’t yet have anyone to watch the kids I have no idea when we are going to go and without going, I have no idea where I am going to get stuff, like toilet paper (such as it is) or toothpaste, etc. I guess we are going to either deal with the corner store (nice but pricey) or hire a car for the day to take us to Carrefour (the French Wal-Mart if you can believe it!). Still, I remember being overwhelmed early days in DC. I say to myself that it is so much different with the kids because Joe and I could literally live off almost nothing. Still, this is the next challenge for me….get to know Egyptian culture and Arabic well enough to feel comfortable in the “American shops”….something to aspire to in the next month or so.

Joe and I also realized that we do need a nanny/housekeeper or at least someone who can come a few days a week. As many of you know, we go back and forth on this. On the one hand, it is oppressive and just plain wrong that by accident of birth, I am able to hire a “servant”. I mean, a well-paid servant earns about $400 a year for full-time work. It doesn’t seem fair. On the other hand, we need help and they need money. The food packaging looks totally different here and there is almost no English. I have no idea what we are buying most of the time. Right now, we are living off airplane peanuts and goods supplied by the university but God forbid we actually need something. We want to try to get to know Egyptian culture but have no idea how to do so because we get lost right outside our front door. Babysitting is not even a concept here so it is unlikely that Joe and I will get time to go to his university functions without help. Bottom line: everyone has help. I am just not sure we are “everyone”.

I returned home heavy with heat exhaustion and a kilo of apples (sounds like a lot but it is about 5 apples) and cookies for the kids. I thanked Jenine profusely for her help. I mean, I never would have found Road 9 without her. She treated me to a few essentials that we need such as bug spray and a lesson about what to do when the power goes out. I thought about how nice she was and how lucky I was that she was so generous with her time.

I returned home to a message that my friend from yesterday (Maria) called inviting us to Maadi Club for dinner. We had planned an after-dinner cruise on the Nile (followed by a serious look for Starbucks) but thought this a better offer. I think I may have told you that Cairo has almost no public green space….like actually nowhere for the kids to play. I mean, no front yards, no concrete alleyways, nothing. At least in NY and DC there are rooftop decks, etc. Here…nothing except CAC and the Maadi Club. As Maria’s guests, we were allowed a look-see (6 hours worth). Maadi Club is much smaller than CAC but has a nice, clean, large playground and a decent pool. Depth was still 3 ½ feet but kids were allowed floatation devices, toys, and there were chairs for relaxing there. The kids swam for 2 hours and Aedan and their 6 year old became the best little buddies. It was really sweet since I still think of Aedan as having difficulty making friends. Anyway, we all had dinner at the Club. It was like the Denver Country Club in this way with good service and quickie grilled food outside (with a more diverse menu inside). Virginia asked for a hot dog which they actually had (pork and everything) and Aedan got some macaroni and cheese. I treated myself to a burger with cheese…the most protein I could eat in one sitting…my meals of pasta and cornflakes leaving me that carbohydrate empty-full feeling for too long. Joe had two beers with David, Maria’s husband. The kids ran around with all the other foreign nationals until the sun went down. It was a great night. Joe really wants to join the club. It is pricey but they do offer a temporary membership and I am thinking we will join. I am a tiny bit hesitant though. I know from my study abroad experience how easy it is to fall into the “keep life as it was in America” trap and never get outside your comfort zone. I am afraid I might be tempted to just walk and stay there all day rather than make myself learn Arabic and interact with real Egyptians. On the flip side, this is a big change for us and I realized today that I hadn’t seen the kids truly happy since we left the US. It was just so relaxing to be there. I wasn’t worried about the kids getting run over by a car or about the water they were drinking or about anything. I was relaxing with new friends and laughing about crazy things that happened in our days. Through this prism, I was able to laugh at my own insecurities and formulate a plan to start tomorrow anew. How much is this worth to me? How much do I push through to make myself soak up all that I can about Egypt?

Anyway, I’ll choose to take it for what it was…a great evening. Tomorrow we will start again. Perhaps we will find our way to some sort of market tomorrow and perhaps we will get lost again. Maybe we will make it to the Nile…surely we can find that J I guess I’ll just have to soak it in….this is why we arrived early.

Lots of love….

Ashley

We're here...Initial Impression...Majestic

2008-07-16T13:46:00.000-07:00

Majestic

Hi there-

The Simons-Rudolphs have arrived in Cairo. We have so many things to tell you about so grab a cup of coffee and read at your leisure. It is hard for me to imagine that anyone really wants to know any/all of this but I figure that I am going to write this down for the kids anyway and I might as well share my thoughts if anyone has the time or cares to read it. That said, don’t feel obligated to read it and I won’t feel obligated to keep it short. J Since so much has happened, I will break it down into segments:

Plane Ride

My last post was from Washington Dulles…basically the last moment in that trip that we didn’t all have cabin fever. Actually the travel was rather easy overall. Mom’s presents for the kids helped. Steinem didn’t meow much. The kids slept almost all of the 7 hour flight to Germany. I gave Aedan a full dose of Benadryl and practically had to force his eyes open in Cairo (more on that later). Like mother, like son, I guess. Joe tells me that Virginia was pretty bouncy and mostly flirted with the guy beside her who had the misfortune of offering her some candy from his very large bag of M&Ms. He got little rest until she fell asleep and will likely never be generous again J. Layover in Germany was quick. Despite our best efforts to make a cat pee (our version of “lead a horse to water”), Steinem had an accident and we spent most of Germany trying to clean her up as best as we could. Flight to Cairo from Germany was only 3 ½ hours. Those of you counting will note a much shorter flight than I complained about…45 min to Dulles, 7 hrs to Frankfurt, 3 ½ hrs to Cairo. Like 11 all told….Really hardly more flight time than to most parts of Europe. I was a little confused by the time change I guess but I wasn’t complaining about the shorter flight. Anyway, the flight to Cairo was fast but by then, the Benadryl had worn off me at least and I was READY to get there. Aedan woke up long enough to request a video game from the airline attendant (and they had one which was really cool!). Virginia was drowsy but it was my turn to wrestle the beast so I held her in what was an awkward position for fear of waking her. I seriously couldn’t wait to land.

Arrival in Egypt

Egyptian landscape is beautiful. I can’t believe how much it looks like it does on a globe. I mean, I don’t think the US looks much like it does on the globe but Egypt sure does. Beautiful dark blue water with few waves….then dense forests, like a wetland, then suddenly, NOTHING. Just sand. It was like another planet or something. It was so brown. About 10 minutes from landing we saw the pyramids. You know how you can build something up in you mind and be disappointed when you actually see it? Well, the pyramids are NOT like that. I seriously, no joke, cried when I first saw them. Joe too. They are completely and utterly majestic. And there are so many of them and they are all different. Virginia just gaped…then pointed out the mommy, daddy, and baby pyramids to the Egyptian guy sitting across from us. Aedan, the one of us who has studied and dreamed of nothing but pyramids since December slept. I mean, we tried everything but couldn’t rouse him. Oh well. He’ll get his fill eventually.

As we were told, we were met by a representative from Joe’s school (AUC) and shepherded through security. The Cairo airport is really noisy and pretty clean by Africa standards. Still, I didn’t want to hang out there and it seemed to take a long time. Just when I started wondering if we were supposed to flash some cash, we were led out. Apparently, someone at AUC thought that Joe was travelling alone so they only sent one car (Peugeot) and our luggage was brought in a second car. Having travelled a bit, I advised Joe to take out our more valuable things to keep with us and so Joe chose the Wii (I guess I didn’t specify monetarily valuable since our cash, my computer, and all of our passports and important files were in a different bag).

So, onto our apartment we crawled through the infamous Cairo traffic. The children were lulled to sleep by the infamous Cairo honking. I don’t really get the honking. It isn’t like Boston where honking means “up yours” and a lot of people seem to need proctologists….Instead, it seems to mean “hello”, or “I’m entering the intersection”, or “no, you go first”. It is almost friendly but not quite totally friendly all the time. We’ll have to get used to it. Someone told me that Egypt passed a law against honking but no one seems to have gotten the message. Going through Cairo was an experience for Joe who simultaneously tried not to gape at the more “developing” part of this developing country and count the 3 months salary advance that employees are given (in cash) upon arrival. I don’t know how he did it. All numbers were in Arabic with only tiny numerals on the bottom! We have been told over and over again that Egyptians are incredibly honest. Our cab driver (an AUC employee) was no exception. It was all there.

We were met in our apt by a third AUC employee who greeted us with fresh flowers and showed us around….

Our Apartment

I had heard that Egyptian style was a bit showy by US standards and this was reflected in my initial impression of the apartment. It is big. We have two full-sized couches, 1 love seat, 4 of those big squashy chairs and two coffee tables (1 marble and one wood and glass). The flooring is all in blonde hardwoods except the kitchens and bath which are in ceramic tile. Our apt is 3 bedroom, two and half bath. Initially, I was dismayed. I was told that we would likely get a 4-5 bedroom place and another several bedrooms could easily fit in our palatial living room. However, I soon found out why. We live in a desirable neighborhood. Here is the story as I understand it….AUC is moving from the “old campus” (downtown Cairo) to the “new campus” just outside Cairo. Long-time staff are moving from Zamalek to the closest neighborhood to the new campus (Rahad…not sure of spelling) to minimize the heinous commute. However, Rahad does not have good schools for kids. Maadi is the second closest neighborhood to the new campus and has the best schools. So, many more “old timers” want to move to Maadi and they get dibs. I really advocated for Maadi and I think they knew how much we wanted to live here. Technically, we live in Digla which is like the Apex to Cary if you know NC suburbs. However, I live less than a block from the line with Maadi so for all intents and purposes, we live in Maadi. Yet, I think we have to compromise on the extra bedrooms and I think this is a tradeoff we are willing to make although we are still trying to negotiate a bit.

As I said, the apartment is HUGE. Joe thinks it is about 1500 square ft. It is almost as much space as our Raleigh house. It has a lot of neat things about it too. We have a small ceramic-tiled deck off the living room area and another one off the master bedroom. All three bedrooms have HUGE armoires to store clothes, etc. We have a large kitchen with marble tops and an eat-in table. We have a dining room with famous gawdy gold light fixtures J Beds are big. I think all 3 are queen sized. Aedan and Virginia have decided to sleep in one room. Anyway, there is plenty of room for guests so get your tickets now. J We have a washing machine (no dryer) but this is great since we had been told that we would have to buy both. I did a load today to see if I can get along without a dryer. I’d love to blow the money on travel instead.

Oh and did I mention that yes, you can actually see a pyramid from our deck? I am not kidding. It isn’t a straight-on shot and you have to stand on a stool to see over a building but really and truly, you can see what I was told was the “stair-step pyramid” (formal name later) from our decks.

So, that’s our place. AUC was kind enough to stock it with “a few things for emergencies”. My cousin Lynne would note that for us, it is fully-stocked. Since we hardly eat at home, we hardly have food in the house. Anyway, it was so nice that we had eggs, bread, milk, juice, chicken, pasta, rice, etc for these first couple of days. Of course, all of the writing was in Arabic. We have figured out all but one item. It is kind of like an adventure to see who can come up with the wildest guess. In actuality, I think it is either ammonia or silver polish. I realize these things look completely different but you’d just have to see and smell it to believe J

So, after unpacking (which those of you who have ever lived with me know I had to do immediately), and a tiny bit of walking around, we fell into bed. A bit punchy and completely lost, we noticed that we live right behind an unnamed traffic circle distinguishable only by the patch of shops known as “Mohamed Said” (pronounced “Sa-EEED”). In Arabic, this means “Mohamed is good” (at least, I think this is what it means) but again, being punchy Joe and I thought it funny to look at “Mohamed said flowers” and “Mohamed said news”, “Mohamed said groceries” etc etc Thankfully for the sake of international relations, we soon fell into bed.

Day 1

Our first full day in Cairo was definitely a lifetime highlight. I woke up to 2 kids with a terrific case of cabin fever. They couldn’t run around the apartment fast enough. Joe thought we should wait for the woman who is supposed to orient us to call. We waited until early afternoon when Joe found some information that she was, in fact, on vacation until the beginning of September. The kids and I couldn’t stand it anymore and despite Joe’s objection, he called the university to see if anyone could at least tell us our address so that we could tell a cab driver where to take us home. You see, there are hardly any road signs in Cairo. Everyone operates by landmark and apartments are known by the previous occupant. I’m just not convinced that any old cab driver will know where to take us home if we wander, say, more than a block away. As luck would have it, the outgoing provost lives in our building and his wife Janine, graciously offered to come over and orient us. She spent a good bit of time with us and even walked us around showing us markets where we could expect reasonable prices, a hair cut place, and most importantly, Aedan’s school.

Aedan’s school, Cairo American College (CAC-not to be confused with Joe’s AUC) is huge and awesome. The only thing I can think to compare it to is maybe Cary Academy only huger and more awesome. It is bigger than Ravenscroft for sure. Pretty much, CAC functions as the community center of expat Cairo. They open their pool, grassy fields, workout rooms, studios, playgrounds, etc for family use when school is not in session (all the time now). I just can’t fathom how they keep their grounds so nice when it is so open. I mean, they even have filtered water for refilling your bottles at the playground. I’m totally impressed. Janine took us all over and showed Aedan the kindergarten rooms (about 5 classes per year). They had some sort of summer camp going on so we couldn’t go in but it looked nice. Apparently CAC also has its own bank and travel agency but I didn’t see those. All of this is less than a 10 minute walk from us (probably less once we actually know where we are going). Aedan and I went to the pool today. There are a lot of rules there that we didn’t have in the US so it is an adjustment. For one thing, the pool is serious-business. Not a lot of kids lollygagging the day away. Kids are lapswimming by choice. The swim team (year round-part of the school) workout for 1^st graders includes a 400M warmup…that is 16 laps! No swim floaties allowed and the “training pool” (shallow end) is 3 ½ feet -almost over Aedan’s head. Those swim lessons were a great investment for Aedan and I wish I had insisted on more now. At least he won’t drown on his first day of school but I might spy on him the second and third day….Yikes!

After swimming we went to one of the playgrounds and met some new friends. Maria, is a lawyer cum stay-at-home mom, from Lexington NC (home of great barbecue) and has two kids…one boy year older than Aedan and very into Power Rangers (Aedan in heaven) and another boy Virginia’s age. She was really nice and I think we could be great friends. When we couldn’t find a pencil to exchange telephone numbers she created a tablet from a leaf and stick. I mean, how cool is that? Talk about can-do. Having only been here a year herself, she was in the perfect position to give me the 411 on life in Cairo without too much overwhelming detail. We had a great time together and our kids really got along well. Her husband does some sort of work with refugees and they are here at least another year.

Having run the kids, we came home to make a pasta dinner (well, we thought we would have spaghetti but we misread some labels and ended up instead with something more akin to “pasta dinner”) and bed. Tomorrow I go to Road 9 with Janine. Supposedly it is where all of the shopping is done in Maadi. Of course, there are small corner stores and fruit stands on almost every block (it is like DC that way) but walking around with Janine means that she can introduce me to her people in the hole-in-the-wall places where she and I both like to shop. I am so excited. It is possible that I will find a Starbucks this week but it is unlikely that it will be convenient enough to justify my daily existence. However, change is good (and a small stash is coming in our boxes).

Enough for now. I can’t believe that anyone is still reading this.

More when we can get on internet again. For now, we have only very limited access to internet but expect to have our own line in 2 weeks or so. Will have to wait for regular postings, pictures, and vonage then.

Love to all….

-The S-Rs

The Way-ay-ay-ting is the hardest part!

2008-07-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

In the Washington-Dulles airport now figuring out some last minute (yep, REALLY last minute) details now. The kids are surviving the day-long wait at Dulles incredibly well. We kind of hope that we haven't used up any good karma we may have accumulated. Cat didn't meow too loud on the first (turbulent) flight. Virginia meowed for her...especially when she got wound up on Lifesavers and hearing the word "turbulent"...who knew that word could be so very hilarious? I don't think the flight attendant thought it was as funny as we did...but whatever. Of course, there was a couple sitting right behind Joe and Aedan who interpreted the turbulence as a good opportunity to get engaged (she said "yes"). I personally think that, given the occasion, he should have splurged for a flight to National Airport but that is just me :)

Many of you have asked how my family is doing with us moving. Let me say that I was proud of them. They kept the tears in check in front of the kids. Mom bought and wrapped a zillion presents for the kids (to open 1 per hour) which is already a saving grace! Dad tried to slip into a carry-on but when he didn't fit, he settled for slipping Joe some cash. He got up uber-early to pass along more advice, quotes from country music songs, and generally be there! David gruffly slapped Joe on the back and followed up with a wrestle :) No, David was really sweet. He gave Virginia a cute pink monkey that she has long admired. "Monkey" (creatively named) has been Virginia's constant companion all day! She is the only 3 year old with a pink monkey wearing red underwear prominently proclaiming "WILD THING!" . Joe's mom has called and emailed several times today which has been a nice distraction for the kids. Joe's grandmother sought advice for us from her bridge friends (who are really really well-traveled) . So you see, everything is normal...just more so.

So, we are good. The S-Rs just might make it to Egypt.

OK gotta run! 2 hours til flight time....

Today's....Airplane Food

2008-07-14T03:03:00.000-07:00

Today is the day....
Six months of planning, 1200 lbs of junk "we can't live without", 8 suitcases, 4 carrry ons, and 4 "personal items" and we are off....less than a hour and half from now.

A big shout out goes to Joe (of course) for actually packing while I shook my head in dismay simultaneous at how much stuff we have and how little stuff we really have :)

Also a big thanks to mine and Joe's parents who have hosted and actually put up with us the last few weeks....

Next time from Cairo....
-Ashley et al.

2008-06-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

5 days til Colorado trip, 19 days til Egypt.

Hi everyone-
Boy the time has flown! Although Joe and I began Egypt preparations in December (you know how I like to stay organized), we still have so much left to do....there's selling the prius, updating our insurance, assigning a power of attorney for our financial stuff, changing addresses on our bills, and of course...figuring out what to do with our house in Raleigh. This week though, we are focused on finishing the bulk of our paid work. Joe and I are both done with summer school. Joe should be finishing his grant this week or early next. I am working with a very capable team of programmers at NCSU to update my WGS200 course website. There's RTI work which feels endless but I will have to let go of it July 15 anyway. They won't let me work from Egypt....at least not on US-based projects.

Speaking of RTI, a colleague of mine sent this to me as a grand send-off (pictures are from some of my RTI team mates). Enjoy....

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