A day on the “Magic Planet”!

So, it is the kids’ spring break…I differentiate this from the parent’s spring break which is not until April. Joe actually brought up the point that by definition, parents never have a true “spring break” but alas I digress….

So, the S-Rs are hanging out and saving money for their windsurfing trip to Ras Sudr next month. Nonetheless, we can’t go the entire week without an event worthy of mention in the much feared “what I did on my time off from school” kindergarten writing assignment. Maybe it was like this when I was a child, and my super-parents were immune to the weekly guilt trip. However, it seems to me that “how I spent my weekend/spring break/summer vacation/etc” writing assignments are Satan’s reminder of how horrific of a parent I am. This pressure is only ramped up at an international school when mere weekend plans often involve cross-cultural travel, semi-famous people, and infinite hyper-educational cool-ness. I mean, how many times can Aedan get away with saying “I watched Tom and Jerry and went to the park with my sister” before the bad-parent police call me in for questioning…..

Again, I digress….

So, in the attempt to provide my children with a noteworthy spring break, I plan a Cairo amusement park getaway (ok not so educational but definitely enviable from the perspective of another kindergartener). It seems that Cairo hosts several amusement parks and one is particularly recommended by a good friend as being safe AND clean (you don’t usually get both here). So, I foolishly announce plans to the kids. Then I find out it is across town (2 hrs+) and at least a $50USD cab ride each way. So much for saving money. Oh well….let’s live it up. Then, we all wake up with colds. I can’t even imagine holding a shrieking Virginia on the flying saucer with a head cold…as insufferable as it is normally. So, I do what every mother with kids young enough to get away with it does….bait and switch. Throw in a sugary treat and switch plans to something less cumbersome…

Mom: Aedan, we are going to the amusement park called “Magic Planet” tomorrow!
Aedan (unenthusiastic): Isn’t that the small arcade attached to the grocery store?
Mom (fake confused): Oh, I guess it is….but they have ice cream!
Aedan (now truly excited): Cool!

So we arrive at “Magic Planet” (all the cool things in Cairo have English names). I am feeling full of myself because I have pulled off the scheme so well… But, this being Egypt, there is a little snag….the reloadable money card for rides doesn’t work and it will be fixed “en sha’ Allah” (literally, “God-willing” but in reality, whenever the guy feels up to it after 3 cups of tea, 4 ciggies, and a long chat with his mom on the mobile”). Seeing my displeasure, he offered to let the kids on the playground for free. Now, this was a REALLY cool playground and they had the whole area to themselves. Eventually, all of the S-Rs wore themselves out and we went for Pizza Hut dippers (does pizza come with KFC BBQ sauce in the US these days?) and ice cream. Really, what goes better with cheese pizza covered in ranch dressing than “ba-ba-ba-blueberry mango surprise” sorbet? To borrow a phrase from my cousin….”gross me out the door” Virginia!

What a day! The kids loved Magic Planet and we even managed a bit of shopping before the kids (and their parents) dropped from exhaustion. Our best find was the fresh squeezed sugar cane juice. Again, maybe I am showing my ignorance here but I was totally amazed that a person can stick an entire bamboo-like shoot into a blender and come out with juice! It was so delicious (like savory but light sugar-water if you can imagine it) that we ordered a liter…..23 shoots later (yes, we counted), we were outta there but not before Joe and I got a chuckle out of the mangled-English “thanks for try our supper jooce….it’s nice and it’s hygienic!” Oh good grief! I didn’t even consider the hygiene….probably best not to do so.

The cab ride home was “so Cairo”….High speeds on semi-paved roads weaving in and out of skanky looking street dogs and large hunks of concrete. Naturally, reggae singer and 1990s American phenom Shaggy came on the radio “how could I foooooorget that I had given her an extra key. All this time, she was standin’ there she never took her eyes off me!”. Cabbie groovin’ out and singing at the top of his voice….kids stifling major attack of the giggles in the backseat. Hopefully Virginia had no idea what she was laughing at. The cab driver had no idea what he was singing…and of course it was the “nasty edition” of the song (I looked it up on i-tunes when I got home).

After a near miss with the neighborhood Coptic Christian trash collector who dared make the Egyptian-idol wannabe cabbie hit the brakes, I demanded that the cab slow down. Cabbie responded by slowing down, yes, but turning up the bass just to spite me. So, I started dancing in the back of the cab and he turned on the strobe light….It was a house party in the backseat of a cab.

Only in Egypt….only on the day of the Magic Planet….a real spring break to remember. Wonder how much of this makes the kindergarten paper!

Get me out of McArabia!

Cultural Adjustment....
Every 2cent psychology textbook quotes this sort of accepted theory that cultural adjustment comes in phases:
Honeymoon: "Life is PERFECT here!"
Crisis: "Calgon, take me far...far....far...away!"
and Adjustment: "Things here are just as peachy as they are anywhere else"

When I studied abroad in England my Sophmore year of college, I went through these phases in a matter of weeks. Joe reports his adjustment to the south as taking a mere matter of days (who wouldn't like it down there?). Apparently, Egypt takes MONTHS to cram it all in....

So, when I first got here, I studied arabic like a madwoman, I visited every historic site I possibly could, I never ate the same meal twice. So, now I am back to reality. Who knows what triggered the change but I can definately note it. I am no longer enamoured with the "fun" bargaining over 30cents at the souk. The dirt doesn't seem "charming" anymore. I even stooped to the ultimate low.....I ate at McDonalds.....several times.

I have to say that the fries here are better but ya sure gotta work for them. Ordering fast food here is like shoving your way into the New York Stock Exchange. Fries! Fries! Fries! 5LE! You think Egyptians wait in lines? Maalesh! (Egyptian colloquial for "fuggedaboutit!"). Same exact scene though. Same scary clown advertisements. Same evaporated onions and Egyptians are actually honest that these things are FAKE. Same scanty 2 pickles (if you are lucky). Same delicious coke through the big straw. Same stick-in-your-throat buns... So pretty much all is the same...except when it is different. A few interesting twists....Big Macs comes with chicken patties (and special sauce). I think this will be great...once I get up the gumption to try it. Also, I have never seen the McArabia on the US menu. It is 2 patties of kofta I guess...beef sorta. I wonder how that tastes with special sauce?

I can't help but wonder if my new obsession with McDonald's has a deeper meaning in me trying to reconcile the US-Ashley with the Egypt-Ashley. How much of me is "special sauce"? Conversely, how much of me is hard-to-swallow no matter what culture? And....will I ever learn to like a McArabia?

:)

Some final wonderful bios from my AUC students....

Responses to my first posting about my new experiences with AUC students were so overwhelmingly positive that I decided to post just a few more gems....This is a combo of amazing, sweet, and downright hilarious. In academics where obfuscation seems to be the cultural norm, their honesty was like an oasis in the desert....
again each paragraph is a new student...all from my Psych 101 class:
---------------------------
My first name, (name withheld), has two meanings. The first being a loyal friend (the description sounds too similar to man’s best friend), which is the meaning my parents had told me. The other, meaning a drinking buddy, which I learnt from my French teacher in school and from a Facebook application. I like to think I live up to the first meaning.
--------------------
(Note from Ashley)-This student wrote several pages so I have excerpted below…
My full name is (name withheld to protect confidentiality). My parents are originally from Iraq (Kurds), I was, however, born in Sophia Bulgaria in the year 1985. My parents had escaped the horrors of war and tyranny in Iraq, in hope of a more prosperous life in Europe. However, when I was only five months old my family emigrated to Denmark. Thus I have lived in Denmark virtually all my life.
During my years in public school I grow up in a neighborhood, most people would classify lower social class. Crime and drug abuse were only among the few evils that lurked around the corner of the building blocks constituting our home. I was however among the few of my peers who actually made it to upper secondary school (equivalent to high school). I hope my engagement in the psychology department at AUC might help me to accomplish my goal to enter a Phd program in the US, after completing my undergraduate here. My aim is to return to my country one day, and be able to say I managed to escape the shackles of low social class, and thus being able to inspire other people to make the world we live in a better place.
-----------------
I'm in my third year, graduated school in 2006. I'm a sophomore and I'm majorless intended mechanical engineering but would seriously think of intending psychology major if promised an A in this class. I honestly signed up for this class because it's one of the electives i have to take and psychology sounded more exciting than sociology or other classes. I hoped to learn how to hypnotize people but was told by a friend we are not going to learn such skill. Moreover like to learn how the human mind works. My hobbies are mainly sports, I play soccer, tennis and swimming. There is nothing specific about the way I learn but I'm not a good learner under pressure, I love pictures they stick to my mind quickly.
--------------
First of all, my name is (name withheld to protect confidentiality); I am Egyptian coming from a middle-upper class. My credits put me between freshman and sophomore; my intended major is Architectural Engineering. I signed up for this class because I heard that this type of courses is totally beneficial for one’s social life. A friend of mine took this class in the winter session and he was so amused with the enormous block of information he knew after he finished the course with a letter grade B (Ashley’s note: Joe taught this class. When the student says “amused” he really means “ticked off about his grade”). My first impression about this course was that it would be so boring because I thought that the content of the subject is limited. But, when I bought the selected book, I was overwhelmed by the real positive impact this class will provide me with at the end. My hobbies are somehow complicated; for instance, I play soccer for a club called shooting club since I was a kid. Moreover, this class will increase my passion in continuing playing soccer just because most of the elder people oblige me to focus on soccer besides college. By taking this course I hope I could be able to understand the others and know where I stand at this moment in which I could distinguish the fake facial expressions from the real ones. Last but not least, it is my great pleasure that I had an opportunity of taking this course and I hope I can learn every single word you say Dr. Ashley.
-----------
Wow! I sure have my hands full preparing for these students.

Teaching Egyptians

Many of you have asked what it is like teaching at American University Cairo (AUC)and whether I have noted any cross-cultural differences between my NC State Students and my AUC students. I think I can best answer this by giving you a snapshot of my first assignment. My AUC students were asked to tell me their major/minor, what year they were in school (freshman, sophomore, etc), why they are taking Intro to Psychology, their hobbies/interests, and anything else about themselves that they though I should know. Here is what a few of them said...I think it gives a sense of who they are as people and what incredible personal histories must have led them to the honor of higher education. As you can tell, I am very fond of them already...they are strikingly honest, very personable, and occasionally totally hilarious! Please cut them some slack on the English. For many of them, English is a third or fourth language. Each paragraph is a different student:
----------------
I, like most people have many obsessions and interests; for instance for leisure I enjoy traveling, camping in the desert, listening to music, dancing, beaches and islands, and watching TV shows especially the genre drama. I believe I have a short concentration span this is why I took the class Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday (as opposed to Monday/Wednesday) as the classes are shorter

My main hobbies are simply sport! I love playing and watching all sports, but my favourite sport is football (soccer to Americans!), and have been playing it all my life, as well as playing for a team for the past few years. I don’t have any particular hobbies that I continually do, other then sport and surfing the internet, as my hobbies change from time to time, but the one thing I always try to do is have a good time! So that usually involves going out with my friends on a regular basis doing anything we find fun! On the other hand I find reading boring, and only do it when I have to for college work.

I hope that I will learn to be able to know things that my enemies would hide of me. Also, I hope to learn when are people lying to me and when are they saying the truth.

I can’t say that I have any specific interests or hobbies, I’m not an artistic person, I pretty much chose a major just for a good career because I don’t really have a passion for a specific topic.

The only method that does not work with me when studying is memorization. I have experience with that, as studying for (name deleted to protect confidentiality) exams is based on memorizing and I always had a problem with that, so ultimately the subjects I did well in were those no memorization was needed, like maths and statistics

For a long period, one of my dreams was to become a psychiatrist and have my own clinic in the future and be able to delve in it. But I had never really been interested in medicine as a college. As a child and growing up, I didn’t know that I had to join medical school from the very beginning to be able to reach my former ultimate dream. Thus, I could say that joining this class is making up for my dream of learning what had intrigued me for so long…. Taking this course is really exciting for me and I just hope to be as good at it as I’ve always dreamt.
--------------
I am very honored indeed to have been given this challenge.....It appears that expectations for Psychology 101 are quite high!

:)

-Ashley

Happy Inauguration Day!

Another uniquely American milestone that we are watching from Egypt…Although I was a Hillary supporter until about 2 weeks before she dropped out, no one jumped on the “Obama Yes We Can!” train faster. Quite simply, we S-Rs are caught up in the Obamania…

So, how does one celebrate this day in history from Egypt? Almost every American adult I know is either going to an election party (with satellite TV) or going to the Maadi House (the American club) to watch it all unfold on CNN. I have Bible study tonight but I think Joe is going to sit on the couch and watch it with a beer (maybe he’ll be part of the beer-drinking democrat constituency). We may even keep Aedan up to watch it.

Of course, Aedan doesn’t see the big deal about an African-American president. He asks me “why would African Americans and women and Native Americans and Chinese Americans, etc etc not be president Mom?”. Good question….and very heartening to hear. Perhaps the real victory in electing the first AA president isn’t for the generations who finally learn that with hard work and a little luck, anyone can be president. Perhaps the real victory is for the generation that never think otherwise.

January...and a new resolution....

So we are home from a rejuvenating Christmas trip home to the US. What an amazing trip it was to spend so much time with family and friends. People who I might see every 2-3 years came from miles around to visit us. Dad took the full 2 weeks off to be with us. Mom wrapped about a zillion Christmas presents for the kids. We spent almost every day with a different set of friends. I felt my best friend’s first baby kick in his mom’s tummy and I heard in-person that my cousin has another miracle on the way. I saw all but 2 of my cousins and the kids spent lots of time with their Godparents. I reunited with an old friend I haven’t seen in years. I met my NJ friend’s new boyfriend. I heard tales of boyfriends past and maybe future and I cried when my old boss told me how much she cared about my career. I watched Aedan rekindle a friendship with his “best Raleigh friend” and I heard my daughter drop her emerging Arabic accent for my dad’s southern drawl. It was simply, the best Christmas ever.

Returning “home” was a little strange. I’m sure that my experience was no different than many of you who travel from the homes of your youth back to the “home” of your nuclear family, job, etc. For us, it was culture shock all over again….Upon landing, Virginia says to me in a quiet voice “Mom, I don’t want to be here”. A million thoughts run through my head….of course, she doesn’t want to be in Egypt. Why would she? She has grandparents and aunts and uncles in America. She can get new toys and eat good food and see her old friends…this trip down memory lane quickly spiraled to a guilty panic culminating in what must be the millionth time I have asked myself “what are we doing here”? Luckily, my brain paused to hear the end of her comment…”Mom, I don’t want to be here because Steinem is in our Egypt home”. She wants off the plane, not off the continent. Why must we mothers give ourselves the constant guilt trip? If in America: “I should show her more of the world”. When in Egypt: “I should keep her close to family”. I hear it, I say it…we all mean it…my friends here and my friends in the US. So maybe my New Year’s Resolution (is Jan 11 too late to make a resolution?) should be to simply be….We’ll see how long I can keep that resolution!

So Christmas break was fantastic and a good R and R before the coming semester. This February brings changes for the S-Rs. Mommy is going back to work. Technically, I have been working; I have been teaching at NCSU online but it rarely took me out of the house. In addition to NCSU this semester, I will be teaching 2 sections of 1 psychology course at American University-Cairo (AUC) where Joe teaches. I am excited and a little nervous (good thing Joe gets to walk me to class…isn’t that cute?). I wonder if I will ever teach long enough to not look around when someone calls me Dr. S-R or if I will ever get over that lump-swallowing moment when I look around and realize that they expect me to actually teach them something? Anyway, we have hired someone to come in 3 days a week to help with the cleaning, washing, and to get the kids from school at 3 until I arrive home at 3:15. I don’t know why this is such a huge deal to me (everyone here has help at least 3 days a week!), but it really is. First of all, our kids have never had a nanny or have been in childcare. I’ll admit that I am a horrible snob about this but we made the sacrifice and somehow have made it all work for almost 6 years now. I know that childcare 15 minutes/1 day a week (Joe will be home the other 2) hardly counts as a raising a “nanny kid” but still… It is also something new for me to have someone in the house when I am working from home. It is a tiny bit of noise but it doesn’t bother me…I just find myself wondering what to do with my dirty tea cup when she just washed the dishes. I should just put it in the sink but instead I hide it in a drawer to wash privately later. I am a nut, aren’t I? Still, what is a well-mannered southern belle to do?

Our new housekeeper started today and she is amazing. My filthy house has been transformed and she wants to cook us dinner (Wow! Sure!). I have no idea what she is going to do from 8am-6pm 3 days a week but Joe reminded me that I seemed busy from 6am-12midnight 7 days a week so surely the help would be nice (hint, hint, I think he wants more attention). We don’t have a choice about the down-sides of Egypt (the flying sand, the filth, the fact that you have to boil water, and triple wash vegetables, etc) so why not enjoy some of the up-sides (like affordable help). Mary is the roommate of our neighbor and good friends’ nanny and I am hoping that having a friend in the building will help her feel less isolated. I know I get lonely here all day by myself. Mary is a refugee from Ethiopia and I’m not comfortable asking about her backstory just yet. I do know that my neighbor told me about some pretty horrific ethnic cleansing and I know that starvation is a real problem there. I also know that it is very hard to gain political asylum in the US and that many African refugees come to Egypt to gain asylum through the United Nations. From my limited experience, I can see that these refugees tend to be better-off, more well-educated, and are incredibly willing to do anything to save themselves and their families from repression. I am going to learn more about Ethiopian politics in particular and will post more when I know more.

All this is to say that I have mixed feelings about hiring a refugee. I want to help but I have never been one of those who could say “give them a job you don’t want to do yourself” with a clear conscious. Is hiring someone to clean your house really lifting a person up? Still, I know we will be good to her. I know we will pay her. I know we will respect her. She is probably better off with us than somewhere else. Lots of Americans here have advised me to play the upper hand…not to smile, not to engage, and not care at all about the people who work for you. Oh well. I’m not sure I ever want to be capable of that. For example, when talking about today’s schedule, I mentioned that I though we could eat together around 12noon which would give us enough time to eat, clean up, and get my daughter from school. She looked down and (in the most non-manipulating way) said “I am ok madam. I am used to going a long time without eating”. How can I convey how very sad I was to hear this? Now, I do know that she is not starving but the sentence was riddled with embarrassing post-colonial insinuations. See, this is the fun of being white in Egypt….too much awareness and not enough power to do anything about it.

On that note, I will close for now….Please enjoy this picture of the kids waiting for Santa!

Happy New Year!

Christmas in America!

Happy New Year!

Here is a picture of us hamming it up at the
"pyramid" Hard Rock Cafe in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Lots to post...more soon!