Joe and I were offered an amazing opportunity to catch a glimpse of the "real Egypt" vis a vis the wedding reception of one of his students. Before I begin describing the wedding, there is some crucial information that North Americans need to know about relationships (in general) in Egypt. Egyptians consider anyone that they have ever met or anyone that their family or friends know to be "close". It seems to me that Egyptians NEVER forget the name and face of your 2nd cousin's neighbor's best friend and in fact, when they see them again, they greet them as long lost friends. In sum, the networks of Egyptians are much larger and stronger than that of a typical American. I am lucky in my life to have a lot of friends but I only make the effort to see maybe 20-40 of them a year. Most Egyptians see ALL of their friends at least once a week. And there isn't really the power-divisions that we have back home. Professors are seen as friends that happen to be professors that one particular semester. It is all very welcoming if not a little disorienting. Anyway, so back to the wedding .... The point is that, by definition, no Egyptian wedding can be small. The wedding that Joe and I attended on Friday was no exception. We counted table settings for 500 and people were sitting two to a chair, huddled over bar tables, etc. Easily there were 600 + people there!
Egyptian ceremonies are often held at home (sometimes at a mosque) with only immediate family and a maybe a few very close friends. Each marriage begins with the boy asking the girl's father for her hand in marriage. Assuming his blessing, the bride's family throws an engagement party where the engagement is announced. The actual ceremony involves trading rings. The brides moves her engagement ring from her right to left hand. Arabic blessings are given. This is the ceremony recognized by Islam and the government and is often done the week before the reception. The wedding reception is always held on a different day and is just basically a big party. In this case, the reception began at 9pm (typical in Egypt) and the bride and groom arrived around 11pm. Wedding guests gathered in the hallway and threw down coins and sequins on the path to welcome the bride and groom. Immediately upon arrival, the bride dances with her father and the groom dances with his mother. Then the bride and groom dance and everyone cheers.
This particular reception was held at the Four Seasons Cairo which is ostensibly the closest thing to a 5-star hotel available in Egypt. The ballroom was transformed with LOADS of white flowers on the tables and really every available orifice. Flowers hung with little lights from the ceiling (see photo) and on the tables (another photo). There was even a traditional "family tree" (see photo) that contained pictures of the entire extended family. It was truly magical and not dissimilar to what I imagine would have greeted guests at Cinderella's ball.
The bride was wearing all white (typical) and lots of diamonds. Her dress was bustled the entire time. Cameras were hung from long poles and filmed her every move which the 600 + guests could watch on one of two jumbo-sized screens on either side of the room (see photo). The groom mostly followed the bride around and occasionally looked relieved to see his "fellows" ... pretty much the same as an American wedding. He was wearing a tux with bowtie.
The reception music was LOUD and I don't mean American-loud. I mean deafeningly, front and center at a rock concert loud. Appetizers were served from a bar. Waiters came around with drinks (non-alcoholic of course). Joe and I perused the menu. Mmmmmm ... what to have, salmon, shrimp, pasta shells, steak???? So many choices. Turns out they were serving ALL in a 7 course dinner!
All this loud music and small talk with my students was making me thirsty and I was relieved to see our lemon / mint juice arrive. As the waiter was delivering my juice, Joe's tipped off the tray and onto the back of my dress. The waiter shouted "sorry Madame" and rushed into the crowd for fear of getting fired (hotels here are notorious for firing an employee after only 1 transgression). I zipped off to the bathroom dripping all the way. I had so much lemonade on me that I had to literally squeeze out my underwear. The dress was clingy and I totally reeked of lemon. While I tried my best to clean up, a kind 20-something year old dressed like Jasmine in a (real) Versace gown offered me her perfume. She had brought THREE large-sized bottles for the occasion! THREE! I politely declined wonder how exactly these overpowering scents would "go" with eau de citrus. I come back to the party to the faces of my worried students "Doctor, where did you go so fast?" Joe and I got a huge chuckle about how my magnetism for disaster seems to transcend cultures.
Anyway, I made it back in time for the throwing of the bouquet (naturally set to Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)". One of my students caught the bouquet which caused a stir since the average age that upper class Egyptians get married is about 30. If there was a garter throwing ceremony, I didn't see it on the jumbo-tron. The bride and groom walked through a sea of women with the arms up (like "London Bridge" with lots of all -female dyads. Each group then "locked them up" so they had to smootch (see photo). It was all very sensual coupled with the gowns chosen by the bride's guests (would've made any NYC designer proud) and the skin exposed . So much for the "conservative" Middle East.
Joe and I left after the 2nd course of the 7course meal. Although most of the meal was served at the table, there was a buffet for the "in between times" (see photo). It was 2am and I was cold, sticky, and exhausted. It was a magical evening though ... one that likely went all night. It was like watching a fairy tale up close. Two people literally falling in love for the first time. I am so glad that we could be there to witness.
