The new normal

As Christmas is almost upon us, I reflect on how desperate I was to return home for the holidays last year. That is not to say that I miss my friends and family any less. On the contrary, I think I miss them more. Instead, I think this all reflects "the new normal". This semester passed with incredible speed consuming us with school decisions for the kids, me going back to work full-time, Joe searching for the ever-allusive publication, etc etc. We met some new friends, we played soccer, we got a puppy. Sounds kinda....normal.

Despite the vast differences in culture, we have found our groove. This is good and bad I guess. On the one hand, I finally have stopped waking up in a cold sweat worried that we will starve to death for lack of clean, safe food (and have accepted whatever food I can get!). On the other hand, we have done hardly any touristy fun things this semester. We haven't been back to the pyramids, nor have we gone sailing down the Nile. It is kind of sad that we are in such a cool place and the only thing we have managed to do is go to work, school, and schlep the kids around to all of their activities. Then again, this is normal too, right?

I've posted some pictures from our feeble attempt to correct this boring pattern here. Today we went rock trekking in the Wadi Desert near our house. Note the size of our 3 month old "baby" dog. She was supposed to be the runt of the litter...at 28 lbs so far...I don't think so!

Fuddrucker's

I have lived away from home long enough to have made peace with the fact that you cannot live a cultural moment 24/7. My heart belongs to America and for better or worse, so does my stomach. So, maybe you can forgive me for forsaking the lovely Egyptian cuisine in favor of visiting the newly opened Fuddrucker’s in Maadi Egypt. A friend of mine here had gone recently and said “it’s just like home”. It’s Thanksgiving weekend. I am missing my family (and food that I recognize on sight) more than you can possibly imagine. The other 3 S-Rs feel the same. So we pile in a rattletrap taxi and off we go…to Fuddruckers.

Pretty much, it is exactly like a Fuddrucker’s at home….mediocre food, weak-looking veggies on the bar, corny signs everywhere. There were a few attempts to Egyptianize it. For one thing, it had a cool kiddie “playland” with “Mambo Number 5” (a little bit of Monica in my life…a little bit of Jessica by my side, etc etc) on repeat and a couple of really gory violent video games. Also, I noted that Green Apple Fanta was on the drink bar where the Diet Coke should have been. Yes, there was table service (“and how are you too? Madame”) and the menu was in Arabic. Other than that, same old FuddFries, burgers, and (beef) hotdogs. For approximately 45 minutes, I was in heaven.

Egyptian Wedding!

Joe and I were offered an amazing opportunity to catch a glimpse of the "real Egypt" vis a vis the wedding reception of one of his students. Before I begin describing the wedding, there is some crucial information that North Americans need to know about relationships (in general) in Egypt. Egyptians consider anyone that they have ever met or anyone that their family or friends know to be "close". It seems to me that Egyptians NEVER forget the name and face of your 2nd cousin's neighbor's best friend and in fact, when they see them again, they greet them as long lost friends. In sum, the networks of Egyptians are much larger and stronger than that of a typical American. I am lucky in my life to have a lot of friends but I only make the effort to see maybe 20-40 of them a year. Most Egyptians see ALL of their friends at least once a week. And there isn't really the power-divisions that we have back home. Professors are seen as friends that happen to be professors that one particular semester. It is all very welcoming if not a little disorienting. Anyway, so back to the wedding .... The point is that, by definition, no Egyptian wedding can be small. The wedding that Joe and I attended on Friday was no exception. We counted table settings for 500 and people were sitting two to a chair, huddled over bar tables, etc. Easily there were 600 + people there!

Egyptian ceremonies are often held at home (sometimes at a mosque) with only immediate family and a maybe a few very close friends. Each marriage begins with the boy asking the girl's father for her hand in marriage. Assuming his blessing, the bride's family throws an engagement party where the engagement is announced. The actual ceremony involves trading rings. The brides moves her engagement ring from her right to left hand. Arabic blessings are given. This is the ceremony recognized by Islam and the government and is often done the week before the reception. The wedding reception is always held on a different day and is just basically a big party. In this case, the reception began at 9pm (typical in Egypt) and the bride and groom arrived around 11pm. Wedding guests gathered in the hallway and threw down coins and sequins on the path to welcome the bride and groom. Immediately upon arrival, the bride dances with her father and the groom dances with his mother. Then the bride and groom dance and everyone cheers.

This particular reception was held at the Four Seasons Cairo which is ostensibly the closest thing to a 5-star hotel available in Egypt. The ballroom was transformed with LOADS of white flowers on the tables and really every available orifice. Flowers hung with little lights from the ceiling (see photo) and on the tables (another photo). There was even a traditional "family tree" (see photo) that contained pictures of the entire extended family. It was truly magical and not dissimilar to what I imagine would have greeted guests at Cinderella's ball.

The bride was wearing all white (typical) and lots of diamonds. Her dress was bustled the entire time. Cameras were hung from long poles and filmed her every move which the 600 + guests could watch on one of two jumbo-sized screens on either side of the room (see photo). The groom mostly followed the bride around and occasionally looked relieved to see his "fellows" ... pretty much the same as an American wedding. He was wearing a tux with bowtie.

The reception music was LOUD and I don't mean American-loud. I mean deafeningly, front and center at a rock concert loud. Appetizers were served from a bar. Waiters came around with drinks (non-alcoholic of course). Joe and I perused the menu. Mmmmmm ... what to have, salmon, shrimp, pasta shells, steak???? So many choices. Turns out they were serving ALL in a 7 course dinner!

All this loud music and small talk with my students was making me thirsty and I was relieved to see our lemon / mint juice arrive. As the waiter was delivering my juice, Joe's tipped off the tray and onto the back of my dress. The waiter shouted "sorry Madame" and rushed into the crowd for fear of getting fired (hotels here are notorious for firing an employee after only 1 transgression). I zipped off to the bathroom dripping all the way. I had so much lemonade on me that I had to literally squeeze out my underwear. The dress was clingy and I totally reeked of lemon. While I tried my best to clean up, a kind 20-something year old dressed like Jasmine in a (real) Versace gown offered me her perfume. She had brought THREE large-sized bottles for the occasion! THREE! I politely declined wonder how exactly these overpowering scents would "go" with eau de citrus. I come back to the party to the faces of my worried students "Doctor, where did you go so fast?" Joe and I got a huge chuckle about how my magnetism for disaster seems to transcend cultures. 

Anyway, I made it back in time for the throwing of the bouquet (naturally set to Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)". One of my students caught the bouquet which caused a stir since the average age that upper class Egyptians get married is about 30. If there was a garter throwing ceremony, I didn't see it on the jumbo-tron. The bride and groom walked through a sea of women with the arms up (like "London Bridge" with lots of all -female dyads. Each group then "locked them up" so they had to smootch (see photo). It was all very sensual coupled with the gowns chosen by the bride's guests (would've made any NYC designer proud) and the skin exposed . So much for the "conservative" Middle East.

Joe and I left after the 2nd course of the 7course meal. Although most of the meal was served at the table, there was a buffet for the "in between times" (see photo). It was 2am and I was cold, sticky, and exhausted. It was a magical evening though ... one that likely went all night. It was like watching a fairy tale up close. Two people literally falling in love for the first time. I am so glad that we could be there to witness.

Venice, Greece, and Croatia: How I kept my sanity dragging 2 little kids through Europe

I'd love to say that I am the kind of mom that created whimsical reasons why the kids should care about a 1500 year old basillica in Venice or why they should walk (unbribed) up a zillion hills to get a glimpse of the sun setting over the acropolis in Athens. Please remember this kids....you will be really impressed one day! :) Even if you aren't...you made your mother's year at least pausing the "I want gelato" whine to check out the medieval wall in Croatia!

Wish I had better advice for other travelling parents-our best idea was researching the sights and creating "treasure hunts" for each with redeemable points for pizza and gelato timed to meal/snack times. :)

New Beginnings

Hi all-

So, the new semester is in full swing at AUC. Back by popular demand are excerpts from my students' biographies. As usual, they are funny, humbling, and even a bit inspirational (arranged by general type):

Honest
"When I first signed up for this class it was my intention to basically just go for easy classes to boost my GPA since last semester I didn’t do as well as I had hoped."

"I signed up for this course because like so many others, I've always had an interest in psychology and understanding the human mind. I've even considered having it as my major at one point. Besides, most of my friends love going around diagnosing each other, both to try and make sense of this world and to make themselves feel like they're smarter than one another. I want in on that."

"I am taking this course because I usually wanted to know more and understand Psychology, especially because of the fact that in Egypt Psychiatrists usually freak people out. That’s why the idea of studying Psychology seems very interesting to me."

"I'm trying to get a solid background in child psychology, or adolescent psychology (if there is such a thing) to become a guidance counselor for high schoolers, as my guidance counselor had the IQ of peat moss. My preferred learning style is a combination of lecture/discussion as I feel note taking to be a waste of time"

Funny
"I'm witty, impeccably mannered, and exceedingly handsome to boot. For a guy who's never been outside the Middle East, I also have an unparalleled command of the English language, which I use to write stupid shit from time to time that makes people laugh."

"Shopping is also one of my very favorite hobbies it puts me in an amazing state of happiness."

Inspirational (and a little scary)
"This course will be my pocket guide for my life journey."

"The reason why I (am a business major) is because of my dad. Even though I never studied business and wouldn’t want to but according to my dad I would do good in the marketing field or that I have a marketing eye or something like that. So I still didn’t decide because I still have no idea with what I’m going to do."

"I am willing to do whatever it takes in this course to get an A because this is the only course I have been looking forward to all summer!"

Enjoy the rest of September!

Kolle Sana Wenta Tayib (Every year, the same)

Kolle Sana Wenta Tayib (litearlly "Every year, the same"-a traditional Ramadan greeting that is roughly equivalent of "It's the most wonderful time of the year...it's the hap-happiest season of ALLLLLLL")

Yes, it is Ramadan again…the Muslim equivalent of Christmas…only with a month’s fasting, lots of prayer, and an inward focus on God and all that is right and good. Then again, Ramadan in Egypt is nothing like Christmas in America is it?

So, in Egyptian parlance, today was Thanksgiving Day +1…the biggest shopping day of the year. Where was I? Carrefour-the Egyptian (French actually) Wal-mart. Pretty crowded-and I do crowds. Still, I loved every minute of it…mostly because I got to see some many funny things. Here is an example:

I reach the pasta pinnacle of Carrefour at exactly the same time as a very ordinary-looking Egyptian lady and I offer my hand signaling that she should go first. Naturally, she goes first and stops right in front of me and loads 4 FLATS OF MACCARONI (24 bags per flat and 8 servings per bag) INTO HER CART!!!! Really…this is the month of fasting? What was she doing—preparing for Moses to come back? Who needs that much macaroni? I would have just passed it off as a “weird Egypt sighting” but the woman behind her got 2 flats, the woman behind her, 2 more flats. I sat there for a full 2 minutes people watching. Have I missed the announcement that pasta was being discontinued world-wide?

Anyway, our lanterns are up. Ramadan Kareem (Happy Ramadan!)

Re-Entry!

I have never known an astronaut personally but I suspect there is a moment when returning from space…you know right at the last minute when they pull the rip cord and go sailing into the ocean. Surely, it feels like a bizarre mixture of relief meets hitting a brick wall. It’s gotta be like when you are going 50 mph on a roller coaster and it suddenly comes to a “full and complete stop…thank you for riding the Brain Scrambler at Paramount’s Kings Dominion and have a great day”. Anyway, this is a feeling that all humans share…be it going back to work after a week at the beach, or that first day of post-Christmas diet…getting a credit card statement. Today, I got my turn. Yep, ya just swallow it and try to keep moving forward. So it was with our first official “return from summer leave”.

I have been warned of the difficulty of just such moments. Returning from 2 months of fun in the sun would be difficult on anyone. However, I, like most ex-pats, am surprisingly self-absorbed about every little difficulty in my charmed life. I will say though that 24 hours never seems longer than when spanned over 3 continents and human species virtually unknown to each other except by tenuous ex-pat threads such as our own. I spent what could have passed for an eon at Raleigh/Durham airport crying my eyes out about how much I’d miss my family. I felt comforted that the kids were crying too…they’d miss the sunshine, and the toads hopping around at my parents’ house…and then I figured out they were faking it to make me laugh. Despite the overcrowded airport, people began to slowly back away from us. Yes, we are the ones crazy enough to live in Egypt.

We made the connection in England with all the speed of a socialist official reforming health care…clunky, with lots of prim looks and virtually no help. I don’t understand Anglophiles at all.

Arrival in Egypt was hot (predictably), chaotic (predictably), crowded (predictably), frustrating (predictably) and filled with cross-cultural gaffes (should have been predictable). There was the woman in line ahead of us at baggage claim who refused to acknowledge a clean, upper-class, and well-intentioned Egyptian family who followed her around yelling “you are welcome in Egypt”. I explained to her that in Arabic “welcome to” and “welcome in” mean the same thing. She looked at me as if I had two heads (oh crap! Was I speaking in Arabic or English?) and told me “yeah, I just couldn’t understand her broken English”. Oh boy! I feel pretty bad for her tour guide already. “This is zee Sphinx. “Oh, it is ‘ZSPINX”…I thought it was just called ‘the Sphinx”. He already looked haggled with about 10 such travelers. I should have given him a little appreciatory tip just for existing for Americans like that. I didn’t. Because I am American and cheap like that.

We checked the maximum amount of luggage allotted to our family size-8 suitcases of 50lbs each and 8 carryons. Sixteen in all! One checked bag was lost in transit. It is always about the one that got away isn’t it? I can’t help but think of all that bag could have contained (World peace? Whirled peas? Which would I want more here in the land of stinky Pharaoh food?) While Joe was filling out a missing bag report (joke) and trying to figure out who to bribe to go look for it (truth), I took the kids to meet our driver. Once we located him, we sat ourselves comfortably beside a large family who looked to simply be picnicking in the airport for the day. If they were waiting for anyone, it wasn’t obvious to us. With the family sat a boy about 10 years old who sheepishly looked quite interested in the many bag of books and activities that my thoughtful mother packed for our journey (thanks mom!). I handed the boy a “Where’s Waldo?” or “Waldo feyn?”) book to look at with Aedan who at this point was over the airport seats making himself comfortable among the caftans. Naturally, everyone in the airport encroached to take paparazzi style photos of my little 6 year old blonde wonder “oh my…he is reading a book”….”look at that, he walks to his mother to ask for a Kleenex!”. Virginia was off in her own starlet-world receiving kisses on the cheek from TSA official (NOT kidding! Aren't they supposed to be protecting travellers?). I wondered for the millionth time how my kids would do with all the attention and blinding flashbulbs in their faces. I need not have worried. Aren’t all kids programmed to be adored?

Two minutes before Joe arrived with the fateful news about our missing bag, the leader of the caftanned group asked me (in Arabic) if he could take “EEEEEdan” (Aedan) to “my country”. To buy myself time to keep from screaming “are you INSANE”, I politely asked where his country was. After all, it had been a long flight to be a mother of a small child and maybe Australia wouldn’t have been too bad. Just kidding! Anyway, once convinced that I would not allow Aedan to travel without one of his parents, Grandfather Caftan asked us all to dinner at his place (in "his country" which turned out to be Egypt). This was not a joke nor is it uncommon in Egypt. I think that Egyptians fantasize about having a blonde child to their house (more paparrazi photos and without the annoying problem of running out of battery charge!) the way I fantasize about running into Gloria Steinem in the airport and inviting her for a Starbucks. Anyway, his offer was totally sincere and despite my rational, logical, politically-correct training, I started getting a little panicky. “Well”, I reasoned to him, I really would LOVE to come with my husband, but you see, we were just returning from a long journey and I needed to return home to ready our home”. “AHHHH, okay” opines a patient Grandfather Caftan. “Take my mobile number so we can do it tomorrow. I will cook many chickens to welcome you in Egypt”. “Thank you Thank you” I say, trying to avoid an international incident before ever technically stepping on Egyptian soil. “I will try to call”. Just then and with the timing of a stand-up comedian and the attitude reserved only for daughters to their mothers, Virginia says to me “Mooooom. Didn’t you know that Pinocchio’s nose grew when he lied!”. Whoops! Time for a nose job!

Yes, welcome in Egypt indeed!

Time (for a) change!

So I was woken up at 4am for the 5am call to prayer. The time is supposed to change here (although it was somewhat in question because Ramadan starts in August this year). Yesterday was the Egyptian celebration of the first day of spring. So a time change makes sense, right? Surely I would know if the time was changing, right? Well, yes and no. Because this is Egypt.

No one really knows if and when the time changes. Apparently it is still up for debate in the Egyptian government. This is just one of the many things that it is driving me crazy right now. I mean, I have to get the kids to school and myself on a bus to work which theoretically runs on a timetable. I should know what time it is right? I don't read arabic so I guess I won't find out via newspaper. I will just figure it out when I figure it out. According to "worldtime.com", time change is next weekend. Who knows?

Our washing machine is broken (yes, for the 5th time this year). According to the repair man, I have had to replace the motor twice now due to "bad water". Are there quality differences in the Nile water between myself and the neighboring apartments? Huh?

Finally, we stayed in a hotel this past weekend and forgot to return the room key. We have received no fewer than 3 frantic calls in the 12 hours since we left. They don't have a spare room key. What hotel doesn't have a spare room key?

Apparently my patience for the idiosyncrisies of Egypt lasts approx 9 months. I can't wait for a summer in the US!

Never one to leave off on a sour note (even if I feel REALLY sour right now)....something from a good friend of mine who called above-mentioned hotel to inquire whether she could bring her 4 month old puppy with her to the hotel:

> Ramada: You need reservation?
> Friend: No I have reservation.
> R: When?
> F: This weekend.
> R: We have no rooms this weekend.
> F: I have a reservation. My friend made it.
> R: Dr. Ashley? Or Dr. Marcy?
> F: Dr. Marcy.
> R: Okay and you want to find out about dog?
> F: Yes, I want to know if I can bring my dog.
> R: What kind of dog is?
> F: It's a small dog. 3 kilos.
> R: Small dog? What color is?
> F: White.
> R: White?
> F: Yes, white.
> R: Not black?
> F: No, not black.
> R: And you are wife of Dr. Marcy, friend of Miss Mary?
> F: Yes.
> R: You can bring dog.

ARGH! I think I am going to have to eat McDonald's for lunch today!

Windsurfing!

A day on the “Magic Planet”!

So, it is the kids’ spring break…I differentiate this from the parent’s spring break which is not until April. Joe actually brought up the point that by definition, parents never have a true “spring break” but alas I digress….

So, the S-Rs are hanging out and saving money for their windsurfing trip to Ras Sudr next month. Nonetheless, we can’t go the entire week without an event worthy of mention in the much feared “what I did on my time off from school” kindergarten writing assignment. Maybe it was like this when I was a child, and my super-parents were immune to the weekly guilt trip. However, it seems to me that “how I spent my weekend/spring break/summer vacation/etc” writing assignments are Satan’s reminder of how horrific of a parent I am. This pressure is only ramped up at an international school when mere weekend plans often involve cross-cultural travel, semi-famous people, and infinite hyper-educational cool-ness. I mean, how many times can Aedan get away with saying “I watched Tom and Jerry and went to the park with my sister” before the bad-parent police call me in for questioning…..

Again, I digress….

So, in the attempt to provide my children with a noteworthy spring break, I plan a Cairo amusement park getaway (ok not so educational but definitely enviable from the perspective of another kindergartener). It seems that Cairo hosts several amusement parks and one is particularly recommended by a good friend as being safe AND clean (you don’t usually get both here). So, I foolishly announce plans to the kids. Then I find out it is across town (2 hrs+) and at least a $50USD cab ride each way. So much for saving money. Oh well….let’s live it up. Then, we all wake up with colds. I can’t even imagine holding a shrieking Virginia on the flying saucer with a head cold…as insufferable as it is normally. So, I do what every mother with kids young enough to get away with it does….bait and switch. Throw in a sugary treat and switch plans to something less cumbersome…

Mom: Aedan, we are going to the amusement park called “Magic Planet” tomorrow!
Aedan (unenthusiastic): Isn’t that the small arcade attached to the grocery store?
Mom (fake confused): Oh, I guess it is….but they have ice cream!
Aedan (now truly excited): Cool!

So we arrive at “Magic Planet” (all the cool things in Cairo have English names). I am feeling full of myself because I have pulled off the scheme so well… But, this being Egypt, there is a little snag….the reloadable money card for rides doesn’t work and it will be fixed “en sha’ Allah” (literally, “God-willing” but in reality, whenever the guy feels up to it after 3 cups of tea, 4 ciggies, and a long chat with his mom on the mobile”). Seeing my displeasure, he offered to let the kids on the playground for free. Now, this was a REALLY cool playground and they had the whole area to themselves. Eventually, all of the S-Rs wore themselves out and we went for Pizza Hut dippers (does pizza come with KFC BBQ sauce in the US these days?) and ice cream. Really, what goes better with cheese pizza covered in ranch dressing than “ba-ba-ba-blueberry mango surprise” sorbet? To borrow a phrase from my cousin….”gross me out the door” Virginia!

What a day! The kids loved Magic Planet and we even managed a bit of shopping before the kids (and their parents) dropped from exhaustion. Our best find was the fresh squeezed sugar cane juice. Again, maybe I am showing my ignorance here but I was totally amazed that a person can stick an entire bamboo-like shoot into a blender and come out with juice! It was so delicious (like savory but light sugar-water if you can imagine it) that we ordered a liter…..23 shoots later (yes, we counted), we were outta there but not before Joe and I got a chuckle out of the mangled-English “thanks for try our supper jooce….it’s nice and it’s hygienic!” Oh good grief! I didn’t even consider the hygiene….probably best not to do so.

The cab ride home was “so Cairo”….High speeds on semi-paved roads weaving in and out of skanky looking street dogs and large hunks of concrete. Naturally, reggae singer and 1990s American phenom Shaggy came on the radio “how could I foooooorget that I had given her an extra key. All this time, she was standin’ there she never took her eyes off me!”. Cabbie groovin’ out and singing at the top of his voice….kids stifling major attack of the giggles in the backseat. Hopefully Virginia had no idea what she was laughing at. The cab driver had no idea what he was singing…and of course it was the “nasty edition” of the song (I looked it up on i-tunes when I got home).

After a near miss with the neighborhood Coptic Christian trash collector who dared make the Egyptian-idol wannabe cabbie hit the brakes, I demanded that the cab slow down. Cabbie responded by slowing down, yes, but turning up the bass just to spite me. So, I started dancing in the back of the cab and he turned on the strobe light….It was a house party in the backseat of a cab.

Only in Egypt….only on the day of the Magic Planet….a real spring break to remember. Wonder how much of this makes the kindergarten paper!

Get me out of McArabia!

Cultural Adjustment....
Every 2cent psychology textbook quotes this sort of accepted theory that cultural adjustment comes in phases:
Honeymoon: "Life is PERFECT here!"
Crisis: "Calgon, take me far...far....far...away!"
and Adjustment: "Things here are just as peachy as they are anywhere else"

When I studied abroad in England my Sophmore year of college, I went through these phases in a matter of weeks. Joe reports his adjustment to the south as taking a mere matter of days (who wouldn't like it down there?). Apparently, Egypt takes MONTHS to cram it all in....

So, when I first got here, I studied arabic like a madwoman, I visited every historic site I possibly could, I never ate the same meal twice. So, now I am back to reality. Who knows what triggered the change but I can definately note it. I am no longer enamoured with the "fun" bargaining over 30cents at the souk. The dirt doesn't seem "charming" anymore. I even stooped to the ultimate low.....I ate at McDonalds.....several times.

I have to say that the fries here are better but ya sure gotta work for them. Ordering fast food here is like shoving your way into the New York Stock Exchange. Fries! Fries! Fries! 5LE! You think Egyptians wait in lines? Maalesh! (Egyptian colloquial for "fuggedaboutit!"). Same exact scene though. Same scary clown advertisements. Same evaporated onions and Egyptians are actually honest that these things are FAKE. Same scanty 2 pickles (if you are lucky). Same delicious coke through the big straw. Same stick-in-your-throat buns... So pretty much all is the same...except when it is different. A few interesting twists....Big Macs comes with chicken patties (and special sauce). I think this will be great...once I get up the gumption to try it. Also, I have never seen the McArabia on the US menu. It is 2 patties of kofta I guess...beef sorta. I wonder how that tastes with special sauce?

I can't help but wonder if my new obsession with McDonald's has a deeper meaning in me trying to reconcile the US-Ashley with the Egypt-Ashley. How much of me is "special sauce"? Conversely, how much of me is hard-to-swallow no matter what culture? And....will I ever learn to like a McArabia?

:)

Some final wonderful bios from my AUC students....

Responses to my first posting about my new experiences with AUC students were so overwhelmingly positive that I decided to post just a few more gems....This is a combo of amazing, sweet, and downright hilarious. In academics where obfuscation seems to be the cultural norm, their honesty was like an oasis in the desert....
again each paragraph is a new student...all from my Psych 101 class:
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My first name, (name withheld), has two meanings. The first being a loyal friend (the description sounds too similar to man’s best friend), which is the meaning my parents had told me. The other, meaning a drinking buddy, which I learnt from my French teacher in school and from a Facebook application. I like to think I live up to the first meaning.
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(Note from Ashley)-This student wrote several pages so I have excerpted below…
My full name is (name withheld to protect confidentiality). My parents are originally from Iraq (Kurds), I was, however, born in Sophia Bulgaria in the year 1985. My parents had escaped the horrors of war and tyranny in Iraq, in hope of a more prosperous life in Europe. However, when I was only five months old my family emigrated to Denmark. Thus I have lived in Denmark virtually all my life.
During my years in public school I grow up in a neighborhood, most people would classify lower social class. Crime and drug abuse were only among the few evils that lurked around the corner of the building blocks constituting our home. I was however among the few of my peers who actually made it to upper secondary school (equivalent to high school). I hope my engagement in the psychology department at AUC might help me to accomplish my goal to enter a Phd program in the US, after completing my undergraduate here. My aim is to return to my country one day, and be able to say I managed to escape the shackles of low social class, and thus being able to inspire other people to make the world we live in a better place.
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I'm in my third year, graduated school in 2006. I'm a sophomore and I'm majorless intended mechanical engineering but would seriously think of intending psychology major if promised an A in this class. I honestly signed up for this class because it's one of the electives i have to take and psychology sounded more exciting than sociology or other classes. I hoped to learn how to hypnotize people but was told by a friend we are not going to learn such skill. Moreover like to learn how the human mind works. My hobbies are mainly sports, I play soccer, tennis and swimming. There is nothing specific about the way I learn but I'm not a good learner under pressure, I love pictures they stick to my mind quickly.
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First of all, my name is (name withheld to protect confidentiality); I am Egyptian coming from a middle-upper class. My credits put me between freshman and sophomore; my intended major is Architectural Engineering. I signed up for this class because I heard that this type of courses is totally beneficial for one’s social life. A friend of mine took this class in the winter session and he was so amused with the enormous block of information he knew after he finished the course with a letter grade B (Ashley’s note: Joe taught this class. When the student says “amused” he really means “ticked off about his grade”). My first impression about this course was that it would be so boring because I thought that the content of the subject is limited. But, when I bought the selected book, I was overwhelmed by the real positive impact this class will provide me with at the end. My hobbies are somehow complicated; for instance, I play soccer for a club called shooting club since I was a kid. Moreover, this class will increase my passion in continuing playing soccer just because most of the elder people oblige me to focus on soccer besides college. By taking this course I hope I could be able to understand the others and know where I stand at this moment in which I could distinguish the fake facial expressions from the real ones. Last but not least, it is my great pleasure that I had an opportunity of taking this course and I hope I can learn every single word you say Dr. Ashley.
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Wow! I sure have my hands full preparing for these students.

Teaching Egyptians

Many of you have asked what it is like teaching at American University Cairo (AUC)and whether I have noted any cross-cultural differences between my NC State Students and my AUC students. I think I can best answer this by giving you a snapshot of my first assignment. My AUC students were asked to tell me their major/minor, what year they were in school (freshman, sophomore, etc), why they are taking Intro to Psychology, their hobbies/interests, and anything else about themselves that they though I should know. Here is what a few of them said...I think it gives a sense of who they are as people and what incredible personal histories must have led them to the honor of higher education. As you can tell, I am very fond of them already...they are strikingly honest, very personable, and occasionally totally hilarious! Please cut them some slack on the English. For many of them, English is a third or fourth language. Each paragraph is a different student:
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I, like most people have many obsessions and interests; for instance for leisure I enjoy traveling, camping in the desert, listening to music, dancing, beaches and islands, and watching TV shows especially the genre drama. I believe I have a short concentration span this is why I took the class Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday (as opposed to Monday/Wednesday) as the classes are shorter

My main hobbies are simply sport! I love playing and watching all sports, but my favourite sport is football (soccer to Americans!), and have been playing it all my life, as well as playing for a team for the past few years. I don’t have any particular hobbies that I continually do, other then sport and surfing the internet, as my hobbies change from time to time, but the one thing I always try to do is have a good time! So that usually involves going out with my friends on a regular basis doing anything we find fun! On the other hand I find reading boring, and only do it when I have to for college work.

I hope that I will learn to be able to know things that my enemies would hide of me. Also, I hope to learn when are people lying to me and when are they saying the truth.

I can’t say that I have any specific interests or hobbies, I’m not an artistic person, I pretty much chose a major just for a good career because I don’t really have a passion for a specific topic.

The only method that does not work with me when studying is memorization. I have experience with that, as studying for (name deleted to protect confidentiality) exams is based on memorizing and I always had a problem with that, so ultimately the subjects I did well in were those no memorization was needed, like maths and statistics

For a long period, one of my dreams was to become a psychiatrist and have my own clinic in the future and be able to delve in it. But I had never really been interested in medicine as a college. As a child and growing up, I didn’t know that I had to join medical school from the very beginning to be able to reach my former ultimate dream. Thus, I could say that joining this class is making up for my dream of learning what had intrigued me for so long…. Taking this course is really exciting for me and I just hope to be as good at it as I’ve always dreamt.
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I am very honored indeed to have been given this challenge.....It appears that expectations for Psychology 101 are quite high!

:)

-Ashley

Happy Inauguration Day!

Another uniquely American milestone that we are watching from Egypt…Although I was a Hillary supporter until about 2 weeks before she dropped out, no one jumped on the “Obama Yes We Can!” train faster. Quite simply, we S-Rs are caught up in the Obamania…

So, how does one celebrate this day in history from Egypt? Almost every American adult I know is either going to an election party (with satellite TV) or going to the Maadi House (the American club) to watch it all unfold on CNN. I have Bible study tonight but I think Joe is going to sit on the couch and watch it with a beer (maybe he’ll be part of the beer-drinking democrat constituency). We may even keep Aedan up to watch it.

Of course, Aedan doesn’t see the big deal about an African-American president. He asks me “why would African Americans and women and Native Americans and Chinese Americans, etc etc not be president Mom?”. Good question….and very heartening to hear. Perhaps the real victory in electing the first AA president isn’t for the generations who finally learn that with hard work and a little luck, anyone can be president. Perhaps the real victory is for the generation that never think otherwise.

January...and a new resolution....

So we are home from a rejuvenating Christmas trip home to the US. What an amazing trip it was to spend so much time with family and friends. People who I might see every 2-3 years came from miles around to visit us. Dad took the full 2 weeks off to be with us. Mom wrapped about a zillion Christmas presents for the kids. We spent almost every day with a different set of friends. I felt my best friend’s first baby kick in his mom’s tummy and I heard in-person that my cousin has another miracle on the way. I saw all but 2 of my cousins and the kids spent lots of time with their Godparents. I reunited with an old friend I haven’t seen in years. I met my NJ friend’s new boyfriend. I heard tales of boyfriends past and maybe future and I cried when my old boss told me how much she cared about my career. I watched Aedan rekindle a friendship with his “best Raleigh friend” and I heard my daughter drop her emerging Arabic accent for my dad’s southern drawl. It was simply, the best Christmas ever.

Returning “home” was a little strange. I’m sure that my experience was no different than many of you who travel from the homes of your youth back to the “home” of your nuclear family, job, etc. For us, it was culture shock all over again….Upon landing, Virginia says to me in a quiet voice “Mom, I don’t want to be here”. A million thoughts run through my head….of course, she doesn’t want to be in Egypt. Why would she? She has grandparents and aunts and uncles in America. She can get new toys and eat good food and see her old friends…this trip down memory lane quickly spiraled to a guilty panic culminating in what must be the millionth time I have asked myself “what are we doing here”? Luckily, my brain paused to hear the end of her comment…”Mom, I don’t want to be here because Steinem is in our Egypt home”. She wants off the plane, not off the continent. Why must we mothers give ourselves the constant guilt trip? If in America: “I should show her more of the world”. When in Egypt: “I should keep her close to family”. I hear it, I say it…we all mean it…my friends here and my friends in the US. So maybe my New Year’s Resolution (is Jan 11 too late to make a resolution?) should be to simply be….We’ll see how long I can keep that resolution!

So Christmas break was fantastic and a good R and R before the coming semester. This February brings changes for the S-Rs. Mommy is going back to work. Technically, I have been working; I have been teaching at NCSU online but it rarely took me out of the house. In addition to NCSU this semester, I will be teaching 2 sections of 1 psychology course at American University-Cairo (AUC) where Joe teaches. I am excited and a little nervous (good thing Joe gets to walk me to class…isn’t that cute?). I wonder if I will ever teach long enough to not look around when someone calls me Dr. S-R or if I will ever get over that lump-swallowing moment when I look around and realize that they expect me to actually teach them something? Anyway, we have hired someone to come in 3 days a week to help with the cleaning, washing, and to get the kids from school at 3 until I arrive home at 3:15. I don’t know why this is such a huge deal to me (everyone here has help at least 3 days a week!), but it really is. First of all, our kids have never had a nanny or have been in childcare. I’ll admit that I am a horrible snob about this but we made the sacrifice and somehow have made it all work for almost 6 years now. I know that childcare 15 minutes/1 day a week (Joe will be home the other 2) hardly counts as a raising a “nanny kid” but still… It is also something new for me to have someone in the house when I am working from home. It is a tiny bit of noise but it doesn’t bother me…I just find myself wondering what to do with my dirty tea cup when she just washed the dishes. I should just put it in the sink but instead I hide it in a drawer to wash privately later. I am a nut, aren’t I? Still, what is a well-mannered southern belle to do?

Our new housekeeper started today and she is amazing. My filthy house has been transformed and she wants to cook us dinner (Wow! Sure!). I have no idea what she is going to do from 8am-6pm 3 days a week but Joe reminded me that I seemed busy from 6am-12midnight 7 days a week so surely the help would be nice (hint, hint, I think he wants more attention). We don’t have a choice about the down-sides of Egypt (the flying sand, the filth, the fact that you have to boil water, and triple wash vegetables, etc) so why not enjoy some of the up-sides (like affordable help). Mary is the roommate of our neighbor and good friends’ nanny and I am hoping that having a friend in the building will help her feel less isolated. I know I get lonely here all day by myself. Mary is a refugee from Ethiopia and I’m not comfortable asking about her backstory just yet. I do know that my neighbor told me about some pretty horrific ethnic cleansing and I know that starvation is a real problem there. I also know that it is very hard to gain political asylum in the US and that many African refugees come to Egypt to gain asylum through the United Nations. From my limited experience, I can see that these refugees tend to be better-off, more well-educated, and are incredibly willing to do anything to save themselves and their families from repression. I am going to learn more about Ethiopian politics in particular and will post more when I know more.

All this is to say that I have mixed feelings about hiring a refugee. I want to help but I have never been one of those who could say “give them a job you don’t want to do yourself” with a clear conscious. Is hiring someone to clean your house really lifting a person up? Still, I know we will be good to her. I know we will pay her. I know we will respect her. She is probably better off with us than somewhere else. Lots of Americans here have advised me to play the upper hand…not to smile, not to engage, and not care at all about the people who work for you. Oh well. I’m not sure I ever want to be capable of that. For example, when talking about today’s schedule, I mentioned that I though we could eat together around 12noon which would give us enough time to eat, clean up, and get my daughter from school. She looked down and (in the most non-manipulating way) said “I am ok madam. I am used to going a long time without eating”. How can I convey how very sad I was to hear this? Now, I do know that she is not starving but the sentence was riddled with embarrassing post-colonial insinuations. See, this is the fun of being white in Egypt….too much awareness and not enough power to do anything about it.

On that note, I will close for now….Please enjoy this picture of the kids waiting for Santa!

Happy New Year!

Christmas in America!

Happy New Year!

Here is a picture of us hamming it up at the
"pyramid" Hard Rock Cafe in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Lots to post...more soon!