A day on the “Magic Planet”!

So, it is the kids’ spring break…I differentiate this from the parent’s spring break which is not until April. Joe actually brought up the point that by definition, parents never have a true “spring break” but alas I digress….

So, the S-Rs are hanging out and saving money for their windsurfing trip to Ras Sudr next month. Nonetheless, we can’t go the entire week without an event worthy of mention in the much feared “what I did on my time off from school” kindergarten writing assignment. Maybe it was like this when I was a child, and my super-parents were immune to the weekly guilt trip. However, it seems to me that “how I spent my weekend/spring break/summer vacation/etc” writing assignments are Satan’s reminder of how horrific of a parent I am. This pressure is only ramped up at an international school when mere weekend plans often involve cross-cultural travel, semi-famous people, and infinite hyper-educational cool-ness. I mean, how many times can Aedan get away with saying “I watched Tom and Jerry and went to the park with my sister” before the bad-parent police call me in for questioning…..

Again, I digress….

So, in the attempt to provide my children with a noteworthy spring break, I plan a Cairo amusement park getaway (ok not so educational but definitely enviable from the perspective of another kindergartener). It seems that Cairo hosts several amusement parks and one is particularly recommended by a good friend as being safe AND clean (you don’t usually get both here). So, I foolishly announce plans to the kids. Then I find out it is across town (2 hrs+) and at least a $50USD cab ride each way. So much for saving money. Oh well….let’s live it up. Then, we all wake up with colds. I can’t even imagine holding a shrieking Virginia on the flying saucer with a head cold…as insufferable as it is normally. So, I do what every mother with kids young enough to get away with it does….bait and switch. Throw in a sugary treat and switch plans to something less cumbersome…

Mom: Aedan, we are going to the amusement park called “Magic Planet” tomorrow!
Aedan (unenthusiastic): Isn’t that the small arcade attached to the grocery store?
Mom (fake confused): Oh, I guess it is….but they have ice cream!
Aedan (now truly excited): Cool!

So we arrive at “Magic Planet” (all the cool things in Cairo have English names). I am feeling full of myself because I have pulled off the scheme so well… But, this being Egypt, there is a little snag….the reloadable money card for rides doesn’t work and it will be fixed “en sha’ Allah” (literally, “God-willing” but in reality, whenever the guy feels up to it after 3 cups of tea, 4 ciggies, and a long chat with his mom on the mobile”). Seeing my displeasure, he offered to let the kids on the playground for free. Now, this was a REALLY cool playground and they had the whole area to themselves. Eventually, all of the S-Rs wore themselves out and we went for Pizza Hut dippers (does pizza come with KFC BBQ sauce in the US these days?) and ice cream. Really, what goes better with cheese pizza covered in ranch dressing than “ba-ba-ba-blueberry mango surprise” sorbet? To borrow a phrase from my cousin….”gross me out the door” Virginia!

What a day! The kids loved Magic Planet and we even managed a bit of shopping before the kids (and their parents) dropped from exhaustion. Our best find was the fresh squeezed sugar cane juice. Again, maybe I am showing my ignorance here but I was totally amazed that a person can stick an entire bamboo-like shoot into a blender and come out with juice! It was so delicious (like savory but light sugar-water if you can imagine it) that we ordered a liter…..23 shoots later (yes, we counted), we were outta there but not before Joe and I got a chuckle out of the mangled-English “thanks for try our supper jooce….it’s nice and it’s hygienic!” Oh good grief! I didn’t even consider the hygiene….probably best not to do so.

The cab ride home was “so Cairo”….High speeds on semi-paved roads weaving in and out of skanky looking street dogs and large hunks of concrete. Naturally, reggae singer and 1990s American phenom Shaggy came on the radio “how could I foooooorget that I had given her an extra key. All this time, she was standin’ there she never took her eyes off me!”. Cabbie groovin’ out and singing at the top of his voice….kids stifling major attack of the giggles in the backseat. Hopefully Virginia had no idea what she was laughing at. The cab driver had no idea what he was singing…and of course it was the “nasty edition” of the song (I looked it up on i-tunes when I got home).

After a near miss with the neighborhood Coptic Christian trash collector who dared make the Egyptian-idol wannabe cabbie hit the brakes, I demanded that the cab slow down. Cabbie responded by slowing down, yes, but turning up the bass just to spite me. So, I started dancing in the back of the cab and he turned on the strobe light….It was a house party in the backseat of a cab.

Only in Egypt….only on the day of the Magic Planet….a real spring break to remember. Wonder how much of this makes the kindergarten paper!

Get me out of McArabia!

Cultural Adjustment....
Every 2cent psychology textbook quotes this sort of accepted theory that cultural adjustment comes in phases:
Honeymoon: "Life is PERFECT here!"
Crisis: "Calgon, take me far...far....far...away!"
and Adjustment: "Things here are just as peachy as they are anywhere else"

When I studied abroad in England my Sophmore year of college, I went through these phases in a matter of weeks. Joe reports his adjustment to the south as taking a mere matter of days (who wouldn't like it down there?). Apparently, Egypt takes MONTHS to cram it all in....

So, when I first got here, I studied arabic like a madwoman, I visited every historic site I possibly could, I never ate the same meal twice. So, now I am back to reality. Who knows what triggered the change but I can definately note it. I am no longer enamoured with the "fun" bargaining over 30cents at the souk. The dirt doesn't seem "charming" anymore. I even stooped to the ultimate low.....I ate at McDonalds.....several times.

I have to say that the fries here are better but ya sure gotta work for them. Ordering fast food here is like shoving your way into the New York Stock Exchange. Fries! Fries! Fries! 5LE! You think Egyptians wait in lines? Maalesh! (Egyptian colloquial for "fuggedaboutit!"). Same exact scene though. Same scary clown advertisements. Same evaporated onions and Egyptians are actually honest that these things are FAKE. Same scanty 2 pickles (if you are lucky). Same delicious coke through the big straw. Same stick-in-your-throat buns... So pretty much all is the same...except when it is different. A few interesting twists....Big Macs comes with chicken patties (and special sauce). I think this will be great...once I get up the gumption to try it. Also, I have never seen the McArabia on the US menu. It is 2 patties of kofta I guess...beef sorta. I wonder how that tastes with special sauce?

I can't help but wonder if my new obsession with McDonald's has a deeper meaning in me trying to reconcile the US-Ashley with the Egypt-Ashley. How much of me is "special sauce"? Conversely, how much of me is hard-to-swallow no matter what culture? And....will I ever learn to like a McArabia?

:)