Our move!

Someone asked me yesterday if I thought that we were still undergoing “big changes”. I guess you can say that again. Since I last wrote, we have moved flats (apts as they call them here). You may recall that we were considering our options when we got here. The university apparently sort of (not really) randomly assigns each family to a flat upon arrival. Moving is relatively common and the university is open (somewhat) to it. So, anyway, as you saw from the pictures, our old flat was fine….it was big enough, etc. but, like most flats in Cairo, it lacked any access to outdoor space whatsoever. I mean, not even a patch of grass to bounce a ball. And we were lonely….in a building with only rich Arabic speakers and Joe’s boss’s boss’s boss (who spends less than 3 months a year in Cairo). So, when we heard through the gossip trail that an apartment had opened up in the coveted AUC building across the street from Aedan’s school (and beside the AUC busstop), we JUMPED on it. By the grace of God, we got a GREAT apartment here. It is a 4 bedroom, 2 bath split level with such luxuries as a double sink (better to wash dishes with, my dear), and thermostats (which don’t actually work but the theory is good).

In short, we love the flat. It has a great shared “garden” larged paved space with a small playset, sandbox, swings, and place to ride bikes. The bowaabs (doormen) are AUC employees so they technically supposed to do their job without a bribe. The shared internet is free. You would think that we’d be thrilled and we are. Ironically, this is the biggest move we’ve ever made…much bigger than our move from NC to Egypt.

There are also at least 4 families here with young kids and life “on the commune” as I now privately call it, is well...communal. Big changes indeed!

Check out some pictures....

From left to right, top to bottom:

*VB enjoying some seasonal fruit in dine-in kitchen

*view of part of garden

*view from front deck off the dining room (exterior wall of Aedan's school-CAC)

*hallway with interesting, solid wood storage units

*living room with kids watching Disney channel

*Virginia's room

*kitchen

*view from master br deck-shared garden

Week 6-Never Live without your Bathmat!

Our stuff came this week. All glorious 1400 lbs of our “must haves” arrived from the US a mere 8 weeks after shipment. We opened it to a barrage of sights and sounds of “home” and it was tough…the finality of our move. The relative permanency of not being able to get on a plane and come home to say “just kidding!” As we touched our soft clothes, yet unmarred by the highly chlorinated Cairo water and lack of clothes dryer, I briefly reconsidered our decision. What were we doing here?

I’m told that everyone has a breaking point and mine was our bathmat. Literally. After 2 days of unpacking and sorting, I finally put out the bathmat bought at Linens and Things. It is a gorgeous green color. I remember well the day it was bought. We had just moved into our new Raleigh house and somehow I had bundled up infant Virginia and post-partum me long enough to drop Aedan off at preschool and run to the store to get a new bathmat. I fell in love with the color. I loved the length…just perfect for a leisurely step out of our new garden tub. I remember berating myself for paying so much. We were “house poor” and had little expendable cash for such luxuries. I remember thinking of ways I could stretch a few groceries and come out almost even….the justifications went on all day and I think I probably even proudly presented them to Joe that night. Now, standing in my new bathroom and flooded with the memories, I wondered why nothing was soft in Egypt. Burlap and siskal seem to be the order of the day and the planned gifts of cheap, Egyptian cotton, to folks back home have been humorously dismissed. Walmart has better quality cotton than anything I have seen in Egypt. The mat is simply the softest thing we now own….it is thick, not bristly, and has a good, strong, no slip guard. I fell in love with it again. I bent down to take a closer look and my eyes fell upon the price mark (apparently left through various laundries to torture me again and again). Right beside it lay the words “made in Egypt”. Pretty ironic. My bathmat made it halfway around the world and back home again.

-Ashley

What does it mean to be an American?

We were ar a dinner party the other night….It was:

*Joe and I plus kids

*A white-skinned couple with their 3 year old daughter who was adopted from Ethiopia as an infant-lived in Egypt her whole life

*Ella (1/2 Japanese ethnically and raised in Japan) and Michael (American) with 7 month old son born in Egypt

The hosts of this motley crue were our good friends here who were living in Chapel Hill NC before moving to Egypt a year and a half ago. They are white-skinned and have two adopted boys from Ethiopia. One boy was adopted as a toddler several years ago and one boy was adopted around age 4 about a year ago. The 4, now 5 year old has technically lived in the US only a few months of his life (one month before moving to Egypt) An interesting discussion came up while scooping unpronounceable but delicious Ethiopian food with that yummy spongy bread.….

The parents feel very strongly that the boys should hold on to their Ethiopian heritage and have put alot of care and thought into facilitating a positive cultural upbringing for their beautiful kids. For example, they have hired an Ethiopian nanny who speaks with them in the native language and cooks Ethiopian food (4 + nights per week). Anyway, their oldest son and Aedan came running into the room playing some 5 year old game…maybe Buzz Lightyear or The Incredibles and someone made a comment “all American kids, huh?”. This generated some complaints about families in the US who feel that raising kids elsewhere somehow limits their American-ness- clearly important virtue to this particular set of grandparents. Someone else said “well, you can be an American kid without ever living in America”. This brought up an interesting question for me….how much of identity is set by your passport? Beyond the legalities, what does it mean to be an American living in Egypt?

I will back up and say that unlike being an American in western Europe or Australia for example, being an American in Egypt (and the entire Middle East I would guess) isn’t just a novelty here…it really defines our entire lives…what we can or can’t do, what we can say, what people expect from us. Any hope of blending into the “melting pot” is ironically, an American concept. There is no blending here…In my observation, Egyptians don’t even blend among themselves. The benchmark is to first embrace and then minimize difference. We strive to be the “good Americans” or the exception to the noisy, boisterous, arrogant English-speaking but very lucrative rule. But as in other parts of the world, we are the country that everyone hates to love and loves to hate. Egyptians do truly love Americans and they don’t want us speaking Arabic. They’d rather practice their English. And oh boy….do they love their 1980s american tv and American import foods, etc. They want to hear all about Disney World, and New York City, and Beeeel Clinton. J

I have found that embracing my American identity helps affiliate me with a “club” (literally-the Maadi House)…a sea of people who also struggle to learn Arabic, negotiate taxicabs, get a fair price at the fruit market, etc. It is also terribly limiting to be American. I know this because we are often relieved when people think Joe is Spanish and we are treated completely differently-fewer expectations, more joking around. I find myself slipping in and out of French with the kids (who must think I am crazy) when in a taxicab with whom I have to negotiate…say flicking ashes to the backseat or driving too fast. Put simply, Egyptians treat Americans as the uber-class and they simultaneously hate us for it. Sometimes faking another nationality eases the situation just enough to make it bearable. While I have set a personal standard of not denying my American status, I certainly am comfortable about misrepresenting my nationality.

But back to my dinner party friends who try so hard to create Cairo-Americana. Does this survivalism somehow lessen our American-ness? What does this mean for us when we return to the US? What does it teach our kids? Looking at my blonde-haired boy who has been in Egypt a month, who holds an exclusive US passport, and who will return to the US in 2 years…of course he is an American. I wouldn’t even question it. The interesting thing is that all of the other dinner-party parents felt exactly the same way. Not only did they prize their passport, they truly believed their kids to be just “regular American kids”. Unlike us, none of them have imminent plans to return to the US and none of their kids were born in the US, nor have lived in the US for a long period of time. Yet, they are American and their houses are filled with Disney movies and oreos and all of the good stuff. Is American stuff enough to raise an American kid? Can we impart American values? Or is identity where you were born? The color of your skin? Where your family lives? What kind of food you like the best? Where do we get that spirit of Americana? Is being American in Egypt a definition of what we cannot do (converse with taxicab drivers, get a fair price at food stands, etc) and what does that mean for non white-skinned Americans? For Egyptian Americans living in Egypt?

Your thoughts?

S-Rs in Egypt…what we eat

After two somewhat depressing posts, I decided to take some time to explain more about daily life in Egypt.

Many of you have asked me what we eat here. This is fun to write about….

Many Egyptians are poor and maybe eat meat once a week and/or daily during feasts such as the upcoming Ramadan. Most Egyptians also do not have a way to refrigerate stuff (either because they lack electricity or lack a fridge) and don’t have a lot of excess cash so shopping is done daily.

That said, there are a lot of Americans and Europeans here and as quaint as it is to shop every day, it can get really old to never have any food around when say, your 3 year old gets hungry for lunch at 10am. We do about half of our shopping for staples (milk, sugar, cereal, oatmeal, etc) at what is known as “hypermarkets”. Hypermarkets are new phenomenon for Egyptians and seem to draw some disdain but I love them. Most of them are approximately the size of a Whole Foods and laid out like a grocery store in Europe (somewhat like a grocery store in the US only the healthy stuff is at the front of the store and not hidden away at the back AND there are some household goods there). There is only one hypermarket within walking distance (Metro) so we usually have to get a cab to either Alfa Market (right on the Nile!) or Carrefour (the largest of all markets-size of at least 3 Super-Walmarts! Ironically, very near the Giza pyramids). This is fine because we are usually stocking up on hefty things like paper towels, pullups, etc.

The other 50% of our shopping is done in local markets. There are 3 local markets (in order in which I like them) Miriam, Seoudi, and Kimo. Each has a slightly different stock. They are the size of maybe a large 7-Eleven. Prices are missing from many items making price comparison between the three almost impossible. People swear by the prices at one or another and most people shop at all three but are loyal to one. For us, it is Miriam Market because the staff always give Virginia a banana (which she doesn’t like but keeps her mouth shut until we get out of the store and gives it to me!) and because they always follow me around and take heavy things from my basket (there is no room for push baskets) and keep them for me up front. You’d think it would be annoying but it is really nice to like have room for yogurt even though you happened to grab space-hogging toilet paper first. Note that experience has shown us that it isn’t a great idea to buy fruits and veggies at hyper or local supermarkets. There just isn’t enough turnover and the merchants have seemingly trained in the US to wax and buff rotten fruit to make it look scrumptious in the light of market but disgusting in your own home. Also, most Egyptians don’t drink fresh milk, opting for liquid “milk” that doesn’t need to be refrigerated. You’ve got to be careful about the expiration dates and the fact that a stocker could have gotten confused and accidentally left a case of fresh milk out and stuck it in the fridge 3 days later. Buy in small batches. Rely on other Americans to tell you that the milk is bad at such and such place.

As a last resort and for our fruits and veggies, we shop the real local markets where Egyptians do almost all of their shopping. These vary from little kiosks and fruit stands pulled by donkeys to small urban-style strip shops. These mostly provide fruits and vegetables (most vendors sell one or the other but not both). They compete fiercely for your business and Americans have to walk way around the block to avoid showing “their” vendor evidence of purchase elsewhere. “Our” vendor is quite a walk away (nice because it avoids the jealousy issues) but delivers for free. He has a great selection, a shady spot, relatively few flies, and I think he is fair with me on the price without me haggling all day. His name is Ossama (yep, you read that right but note the spelling is different which I am convinced he did so we wouldn’t make the association…ha ha.).

So, what do we actually eat here? Despite the fact that “dieting” isn’t really even a concept that most Egyptians understand, we are dieting…sort of. Joe and I have lost almost 10 lbs each just on eating fruits and vegetables. This is the cheapest food and the best for us nutrition-wise so we as a family eat lots of fresh food. We don’t have the variety we had in the US though. Imports are expensive and hard to find so we are eating whatever is in season. I used to scorn the “localvore” movement but now find that it is the only way to live here…without spending a fortune and risking some weird foodhandling practices. So, right now, we are eating lots of roast chicken, watermelon, red grapes, hummus, baladi bread (like pita only yummier!), corn, peaches (imported but great!), broccoli (Joe is less-than-thrilled but is eating it), potatoes, tabouli, cucumbers, and red/green peppers. Red meat is expensive, steak is very hard to find…you can forget about pork. Even pepperoni is beef here. Yuck!

We also eat some of what I thought were American foods but turns out are European…like cinnabon. There is an infusion of American fast food chains here…Pizza Hut, McDonalds (with playland!), Burger King, KFC, Little Caesars, etc. Hardees stands heads and shoulders above the rest using local meats and fruits and veggies. Although we ate a lot of this initially, we find we just don’t have the taste for it anymore. Maybe if there was a Bojangles here, it would be different!

We typically eat breakfast and lunch from the cupboard and then order out for dinner. It seems extravagant but delivery can actually be cheaper than assembling it all yourself…especially given the bargaining disadvantage of my skin color. Of course, I am so disappointed not to be cooking all day (NOT!). We have kind of a routine…Monday is Dominos (3 medium pizzas for 50LE—the deals transcend cultures!), Tuesday is Mediterranean (hummus, cucumber sauce, tobouli, etc), Wednesday is scrambled eggs (I actually do those), Thursday is Italian, etc.

What is Egyptian cuisine? I know this disappoints many of you expecting a nice Egyptian meal from me when we return but it doesn’t seem to me that there is a distinct Egyptian cuisine. Egyptians eat local foods and tend towards a more Mediterranean diet (high in fruits and veggies, low on carbs especially white breads, etc, really low on meat), eat stuff with LOADS of sugar (like do you really need 4 heaping teaspoons of sugar in a small cup of tea?). Egyptians also eat a lot of northern Italian food (spaghetti with light sauce, fish, veal, etc), lots of lamb, and a fair bit of stinky French cheese (yum!). There are Egyptian cooking classes (someone making money off people like me, I’m sure) and we have tried Fuol (supposedly an Egyptian staple). Probably other people will love Fuol…it is like refried beans with a nice, mild flavor and Egyptians eat it in a bowl, wrapped in a sub sandwich, or on pita. It really does taste good but it smells a fright. I have no idea why it smells so bad but it does. The S-Rs hate refried beans but we managed a couple of servings one day. It is that good tasting…but we don’t put that in our fridge to stink up the house.

Although there isn’t necessarily Egyptian cuisine, there is definitely an Egyptian approach to eating. Egyptians are showy when it comes to food. Food is always served on fancy plates and looking its best with sprinkles of herbs, etc. Egyptians eat late…like lunch is around 2:30 or 3pm and a 10pm dinner (starting with a soup course) is not out of order. We often catch the tail end of the lunch crowd when we feed the kids at 5pm. Egyptian kids get like 5 hours of sleep per night but that is a story for another day…Anyway, the Egyptians take their time with the meal (something impossible for us to do if we have waited until 10pm) and smoke Shisha (water) pipes (long, lamp-looking things sitting on the floor with a hose and a mouthpiece) between courses. They eat a lot. They hang out with friends. Every day. It is pretty cool if you aren’t starving (which we are-see above diet of fruits and veggies).

So in sum, the S-Rs are surviving on a somewhat local diet with the occasional western-treat (like Mac and Cheese for $10 or Ritz Crackers for $6 a small box). When we get desperate for calories…there are always the 18cent cokes in the glass bottle at the vendor just outside! J

Have a good week!

-Ashley

Goodbye to a Dear Friend

Hi all-

It's been a while since my last post and that is mostly a good thing. It means we have met some new friends and I have been cultivating these new relationships. Aedan had his first-ever sleepover party (with new Cairo buddy). Joe had lunch with a friend from work. Virginia and I are cruising out and about with her Sudanese baby doll and doll stroller! We have also taken a 1 night "stay-cation" (like vacation, only you stay where you are) to a wonderful 5 star resort in Cairo (complete with 4 swimming pools and a wonderfully soft bed!).

Aedan starts kindergarten next week and Joe will be getting back to work very soon. Virginia will be starting a 3 day a week french immersion preschool in 2 weeks and I start Arabic as soon as I get them all settled. Vacation is almost over for the S-Rs and it is time to get to business! :)

With all of this excitement, Joe and I have carried a deep burden in our hearts. Many of you know that a classmate and good friend of Aedan's died this summer. We did not tell Aedan at the time because we felt that the timing was wrong with our travel and transition. We finally realized that there is never a good time to tell a 5 year that another kid died....there are simply less awful times. Honestly, time has given me no perspective on this. The memory of her and the things she would say or do still makes me sob....not cry...sob. Joe and I didn't necessarily pick this week to tell Aedan but the teachable moment just sort of happened. I told him. Nothing. I cried...he asked a few questions. He went to his room and cried. He cried on and off. I don't know if he knew what he was crying about except that I was crying. I asked him several times if he understood. He said he did but I just feel like he went blank. It was weird for him...I never would have expected that. It was a hard week but I feel selfishly relieved that I told him and that I wasn't hiding it from him anymore.

That said, we have taken a deep breath and are moving forward....just as I know she would have wanted. It's the only thing we can do, really.

Egypt still continues to be kind to us. We are already planning some local travel for Ramadan (cheap rates!) and are finding new ways to laugh at ourselves each day. For example, Joe speaking spanish when he thinks he is speaking arabic. Or...Joe trying to convince Virginia to try pate with "Virginia, would you like to try pate?'" to which Virginia replies "No thank you...dad, would you like to try butter?". Oh....the comedy and drama of each new day.

Lots of love!

-Ashley
PS New 2 story apt with a yard in the AUC building just opened up. Keep your fingers crossed for us. Maybe we can move?

Alexandria!

Ever wonder where 15M rich Egyptians go in the summer....well Alexandria of course! Our trip was a total bust but it makes for some good stories...Alexandria is a quick, inexpensive 2 hour train ride from Cairo. It is an infusion of Greco-Roman and pharonic art and right on the Mediterranean sea. It is also way-too-crowded and chaotic for a breezy day-trip to the beach.

These pictures show kind of a mix of what we saw....a real roman coliseum that the kids could scramble onto, some interesting masonic symbolism, typical Egyptian "the devil may care" attitude about drooping wires (see column picture), and jam-packed living conditions (yep, that is Aedan to the left of the umbrellas actually trying to find the water!). The kids hated it. Our taxi got into a minor car wreck (everyone is ok but Virginia was thrown into the front seat as there are no seatbelts in Egypt), two other taxi drivers got lost, one dropped us off in the middle of nowhere, and one screamed at Joe until Joe finally said some choice words and threatened to get out without paying. I finally ended up throwing money at that taxi driver (not as much as he was demanding though but an amount that was mutually fair) and ran to a guard who went after the taxi guy with the brunt of his gun....Nonetheless, this whole trip gave us some major sympathy with the expats here and one actually gave us a bottle of wine to drown our misery (big deal since you can't buy it here). Bar none....our worst day in Egypt but as you can see.....still interesting.

Aedan starts school in a week and we have decided on one last back-to-school gig. I am almost embarrassed to say that we are going to the water park...something we could clearly do in the US but we all need a break from "culture". We are going on Wed and staying one night.
http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/caijw-jw-marriott-hotel-cairo/
At least we are getting the AUC discount....this place is supposed to be niiiiiiiice.....

Lots of love...
Ash and gang