S-Rs in Egypt

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Inauguration Day!

Another uniquely American milestone that we are watching from Egypt…Although I was a Hillary supporter until about 2 weeks before she dropped out, no one jumped on the “Obama Yes We Can!” train faster. Quite simply, we S-Rs are caught up in the Obamania…

So, how does one celebrate this day in history from Egypt? Almost every American adult I know is either going to an election party (with satellite TV) or going to the Maadi House (the American club) to watch it all unfold on CNN. I have Bible study tonight but I think Joe is going to sit on the couch and watch it with a beer (maybe he’ll be part of the beer-drinking democrat constituency). We may even keep Aedan up to watch it.

Of course, Aedan doesn’t see the big deal about an African-American president. He asks me “why would African Americans and women and Native Americans and Chinese Americans, etc etc not be president Mom?”. Good question….and very heartening to hear. Perhaps the real victory in electing the first AA president isn’t for the generations who finally learn that with hard work and a little luck, anyone can be president. Perhaps the real victory is for the generation that never think otherwise.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

January...and a new resolution....

So we are home from a rejuvenating Christmas trip home to the US. What an amazing trip it was to spend so much time with family and friends. People who I might see every 2-3 years came from miles around to visit us. Dad took the full 2 weeks off to be with us. Mom wrapped about a zillion Christmas presents for the kids. We spent almost every day with a different set of friends. I felt my best friend’s first baby kick in his mom’s tummy and I heard in-person that my cousin has another miracle on the way. I saw all but 2 of my cousins and the kids spent lots of time with their Godparents. I reunited with an old friend I haven’t seen in years. I met my NJ friend’s new boyfriend. I heard tales of boyfriends past and maybe future and I cried when my old boss told me how much she cared about my career. I watched Aedan rekindle a friendship with his “best Raleigh friend” and I heard my daughter drop her emerging Arabic accent for my dad’s southern drawl. It was simply, the best Christmas ever.

Returning “home” was a little strange. I’m sure that my experience was no different than many of you who travel from the homes of your youth back to the “home” of your nuclear family, job, etc. For us, it was culture shock all over again….Upon landing, Virginia says to me in a quiet voice “Mom, I don’t want to be here”. A million thoughts run through my head….of course, she doesn’t want to be in Egypt. Why would she? She has grandparents and aunts and uncles in America. She can get new toys and eat good food and see her old friends…this trip down memory lane quickly spiraled to a guilty panic culminating in what must be the millionth time I have asked myself “what are we doing here”? Luckily, my brain paused to hear the end of her comment…”Mom, I don’t want to be here because Steinem is in our Egypt home”. She wants off the plane, not off the continent. Why must we mothers give ourselves the constant guilt trip? If in America: “I should show her more of the world”. When in Egypt: “I should keep her close to family”. I hear it, I say it…we all mean it…my friends here and my friends in the US. So maybe my New Year’s Resolution (is Jan 11 too late to make a resolution?) should be to simply be….We’ll see how long I can keep that resolution!

So Christmas break was fantastic and a good R and R before the coming semester. This February brings changes for the S-Rs. Mommy is going back to work. Technically, I have been working; I have been teaching at NCSU online but it rarely took me out of the house. In addition to NCSU this semester, I will be teaching 2 sections of 1 psychology course at American University-Cairo (AUC) where Joe teaches. I am excited and a little nervous (good thing Joe gets to walk me to class…isn’t that cute?). I wonder if I will ever teach long enough to not look around when someone calls me Dr. S-R or if I will ever get over that lump-swallowing moment when I look around and realize that they expect me to actually teach them something? Anyway, we have hired someone to come in 3 days a week to help with the cleaning, washing, and to get the kids from school at 3 until I arrive home at 3:15. I don’t know why this is such a huge deal to me (everyone here has help at least 3 days a week!), but it really is. First of all, our kids have never had a nanny or have been in childcare. I’ll admit that I am a horrible snob about this but we made the sacrifice and somehow have made it all work for almost 6 years now. I know that childcare 15 minutes/1 day a week (Joe will be home the other 2) hardly counts as a raising a “nanny kid” but still… It is also something new for me to have someone in the house when I am working from home. It is a tiny bit of noise but it doesn’t bother me…I just find myself wondering what to do with my dirty tea cup when she just washed the dishes. I should just put it in the sink but instead I hide it in a drawer to wash privately later. I am a nut, aren’t I? Still, what is a well-mannered southern belle to do?

Our new housekeeper started today and she is amazing. My filthy house has been transformed and she wants to cook us dinner (Wow! Sure!). I have no idea what she is going to do from 8am-6pm 3 days a week but Joe reminded me that I seemed busy from 6am-12midnight 7 days a week so surely the help would be nice (hint, hint, I think he wants more attention). We don’t have a choice about the down-sides of Egypt (the flying sand, the filth, the fact that you have to boil water, and triple wash vegetables, etc) so why not enjoy some of the up-sides (like affordable help). Mary is the roommate of our neighbor and good friends’ nanny and I am hoping that having a friend in the building will help her feel less isolated. I know I get lonely here all day by myself. Mary is a refugee from Ethiopia and I’m not comfortable asking about her backstory just yet. I do know that my neighbor told me about some pretty horrific ethnic cleansing and I know that starvation is a real problem there. I also know that it is very hard to gain political asylum in the US and that many African refugees come to Egypt to gain asylum through the United Nations. From my limited experience, I can see that these refugees tend to be better-off, more well-educated, and are incredibly willing to do anything to save themselves and their families from repression. I am going to learn more about Ethiopian politics in particular and will post more when I know more.

All this is to say that I have mixed feelings about hiring a refugee. I want to help but I have never been one of those who could say “give them a job you don’t want to do yourself” with a clear conscious. Is hiring someone to clean your house really lifting a person up? Still, I know we will be good to her. I know we will pay her. I know we will respect her. She is probably better off with us than somewhere else. Lots of Americans here have advised me to play the upper hand…not to smile, not to engage, and not care at all about the people who work for you. Oh well. I’m not sure I ever want to be capable of that. For example, when talking about today’s schedule, I mentioned that I though we could eat together around 12noon which would give us enough time to eat, clean up, and get my daughter from school. She looked down and (in the most non-manipulating way) said “I am ok madam. I am used to going a long time without eating”. How can I convey how very sad I was to hear this? Now, I do know that she is not starving but the sentence was riddled with embarrassing post-colonial insinuations. See, this is the fun of being white in Egypt….too much awareness and not enough power to do anything about it.

On that note, I will close for now….Please enjoy this picture of the kids waiting for Santa!

Happy New Year!

Christmas in America!

Happy New Year!

Here is a picture of us hamming it up at the
"pyramid" Hard Rock Cafe in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Lots to post...more soon!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thanksgiving Near Turkey

Tis the season to begin with white lies...like "Santa is watching" and "I can afford it!"...so it begins with "Thanksgiving near Turkey". In truth, despite both cities being "over there", Istanbul is almost 800 miles from Cairo. Still, it is nearer to me than many of you and it provides a catchy title for a blog :)

Many of you have emailed asking what Thanksgiving is like in Cairo. Like many specific "American" holidays (4th of July, Memorial Day, etc), hardly anyone celebrates. Especially the Brits...I mean, it has been more than 225 years...get over it already! We've managed to grin and bear Gordon Brown so the least they can do is keep their "bah humbug" to themselves.

That said, those of us (americans) who do celebrate Thanksgiving do so with gusto. The Simons-Rudolph family hosted 3 american exchange students. Whole experience=huge ego boost for Ashley. Now, I am not known for my cooking but to be fair, I am halfway decent these days and those college kids were ravenous! We put away a fairly traditional meal of chicken, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potato pie, etc etc.

Another favorite e-question is whether they have turkeys in Egypt. I don't actually know the answer to that but my guess from the exorbitant price....no. So we ordered rotisserie chicken delivered to our door for $1 USD. Cheating you say? Why yes...just as I would have done in the US...only no delivery and certainly more than $1. :)

Now, like many of you, we are preparing our hearts and home for Christmas. Almost everyone we know is traveling so there is an air of anticipation. Some of us are lucky enough to be heading home but the rest are traveling within the middle east and north africa. Now Christmas is pretty weird here...a few stores have hopped on the US expat train and put out (awful...think Wal-mart post Christmas leftovers that don't even go in the 75% off sale!) santas and Christmas trees. There is almost no Christian religious imagery up (not too unlike the US, unfortunately). No Christmas music... I didn't miss it in August (when I am told it began in Raleigh's Walmart) but I do miss it a bit now. To get us more in the spirit, I went out and bought a (potted) tree and a few strings of lights. Virginia contributed with some fancy tinsel boa thing. The kids decorated the tree and we hung stockings over our (non-working) fireplace. In some ways, the low-key christmas here (coupled with a definite high-energy christmas supplied by my parents when we arrive in raleigh) is a relief. In some ways, it makes me even more homesick. I mean, I totally missed the blow-by-blow post Thanksgiving shopping stories from my friend Kari who lives for the deals and for the war-stories! Oh well, on balance, this is all is an unforgettable experience....even if my kids can't quite remember the words to "deck the halls".

-Ashley